[locked; visible to Isolde-sensei only] Time to go.
Isolde-sensei, I read your latest journal post with some interest. And no small amount of-- I admit, I'm not good with words. It's a feeling both happy and sad, one I imagine people feel when they look back on their summer breaks, those times spent carefree under the sun.
The truth is, I know that feeling of almost losing myself that you mentioned. No one thinks I do-- I never like to say it. That's not my purpose in life, to go around talking about my own maudlin feelings. There's a reason this is locked; none of this will go past your lips. Still, I've been on the brink of that feeling several times. As many times as I've almost graduated. And each time, I hold myself back.
It's because I want them to learn, Isolde-sensei. You understand that, surely. Some part of me won't give up until I see everyone completed. And they keep coming. They keep ending up in my workshop. Because I bring them there, because I want to teach them. And so, all those times, I've let it go, and made myself stay.
This year... I know you feel something different too. You're not like this every year. And I don't know what it is you feel, because you seem so afraid. But I feel... like maybe, I can finally put this gig to rest. Like I can finally move on. Something's going to be different this year, and I feel comfortable leaving Al-Revis in the hands of whatever it is. Maybe I'm wrong, but what I scent on the wind is success, simple and sweet.
I sound a little crazy, heh? But anyway, what you said made me think of those past graduation years. Those almosts.
I think I'm finally ready, sensei. And I bow to you, for three four five ...however many years it's been now, of doing your best by me, and them.
Fare ye well, wherever life takes you. And on my honour, I'll make you proud.
The truth is, I know that feeling of almost losing myself that you mentioned. No one thinks I do-- I never like to say it. That's not my purpose in life, to go around talking about my own maudlin feelings. There's a reason this is locked; none of this will go past your lips. Still, I've been on the brink of that feeling several times. As many times as I've almost graduated. And each time, I hold myself back.
It's because I want them to learn, Isolde-sensei. You understand that, surely. Some part of me won't give up until I see everyone completed. And they keep coming. They keep ending up in my workshop. Because I bring them there, because I want to teach them. And so, all those times, I've let it go, and made myself stay.
This year... I know you feel something different too. You're not like this every year. And I don't know what it is you feel, because you seem so afraid. But I feel... like maybe, I can finally put this gig to rest. Like I can finally move on. Something's going to be different this year, and I feel comfortable leaving Al-Revis in the hands of whatever it is. Maybe I'm wrong, but what I scent on the wind is success, simple and sweet.
I sound a little crazy, heh? But anyway, what you said made me think of those past graduation years. Those almosts.
I think I'm finally ready, sensei. And I bow to you, for three four five ...however many years it's been now, of doing your best by me, and them.
Fare ye well, wherever life takes you. And on my honour, I'll make you proud.