fear is the worst sin | (no subject)
"I love you," she whispered quietly.
"That's nice, but you're not Randy Knox, are you?" Ju Cai folded his shirts as nearly as he could with the phone jammed between his neck and shoulder. "Charles Friday? Ban Raftopoulos?"
"Those are boys' names." Eva whined and then stopped suddenly. "Are you cheating on me with other men?"
"Sweetie pie, I've got to pack."
"You're useless to me!" A dull, exasperated shriek was heard from the other line.
"I'm getting sick and tired of you, Miss Eva Lorenz. Do you hear me? I'm fed up!" Ju Cai threw the shirts into a duffel bag and ran his hand through his hair to push the limp threads away from his face. "I think that I may have mixed up one of those names. Ban is Japanese and Raftopoulos must be Greek... Whatever, all of it is whatever."
"Obviously it's Greek, Ju Cai."
"Oh, yes, obviously," he said sarcastically. "Because as we all know, I've totally met a fucking Greek before. I'm so glad I'll be gone." He bent down in front of his drawers to sift through his pants.
"Why won't you come see me?" Eva started getting hysterical. The Triad thought perhaps she'd snorted some coke prior to the call. "Why, Ju Cai? Why? I love you, don't you fucking know?"
"Do me a favor? Calm down, please." He rolled his eyes and made a face, suddenly thinking about his business trip to Serifos.
Eva could be heard sniffling, her voice beginning to sound somewhat milky. "Uh huh, uh huh."
"Are you okay now?"
"As well as.." She broke off for some reason and came back a few seconds later with a different tone. "Can be expected."
"I actually think you're doing better than that." Ju Cai's leg muscles swelled and then relaxed as he adjusted his crouched position on the floor. "I really think that."
"Meaning what? What does that mean?"
"Meaning that I think you've adapted well to our situation."
"Thank you." There was a long pause that Ju Cai was tempted to hang up over before Eva finally whispered out, "I miss you."
Ju Cai hung up and dropped his phone behind the dresser as someone knocked on his door with a padded fist. "Come in at your own discretion, I'm naked."
A young woman with a svelte figure confidently strode into the room, letting the door pull itself closed behind her. Her hair was almost artificially silky (it was really superbly well-taken care of) and fell in large, brown curls that stopped at her neck. She had worn a pretty cocktail dress today in celebration of the fine Spring weather, and kicked off one of her open toed pumps that showed off her day's old pedicure at Ju Cai's back. "I came in thinking that you truly were naked, and now I'm no longer excited to see you."
"Ow," Ju Cai picked up her shoe and placed it on the top of his dresser, getting up to tug her into a tight, warm hug. "If I took my clothes off now, would you be excited?"
She gasped. "You're so bad!"
"You're the one who got me started, cutie." He rested his arms around her waist and clasped his hands comfortably behind her back, nuzzling into her hair. "Golden brown, texture like sun."
The woman smiled brightly and kissed the side of his mouth, snaking an arm around his neck while she rested her other hand softly on his chest. "Again with your British music? Oh, I love you, Ju Cai."
He returned the smile and kissed the bridge of her nose twice. "I love you too, Taylor. Won't you come to bed with me?"
Laughing, she hit his shoulder with the palm of a very delicate-looking hand. "Now why on earth would I want to do that?"
"D'oh, no! That was a loaded question!" Ju Cai disentangled himself from her, clutching at his side as though he'd been dreadfully injured and falling back onto the bed. "You're a brute!" Taylor fell next to him and kicked her other shoe off, laughing heartily. "An absolute savage!"
"Oh, stop flattering me." She threw his arms around him but he pushed her away, looking pained.
"Can't you see I've been shot? Don't touch me. Help! I need medical assistance!"
"Stay still!" She uprighted herself and twisted her torso to pin Ju Cai's arms against the bed. As the Triad exclaimed "Never!" and overpowered her, Taylor squeaked and threw herself across his midsection.
Ju Cai lifted his head up to look at her, the muscles in his neck appearing for about a second before he relaxed again. "Now I'm bleeding to death."
"I'm your tourniquet."
"You would be, if you weren't squishing my viscera."
Taylor rolled off him and was barely successful at concealing her giggle until Ju Cai poked her armpit. She crossed her ankles over his lap and rubbed her feet together, feeling much less stressed than she had in weeks; months. Just the other day she had received an email that pinned her as partially responsible for the increased suicide rate in both girls and women who realized that they would never be able to look like her. Models ruined lives too.
Ju Cai moved his arm to put it around her waist but she wiggled out of it, plastering a histrionic pout onto her face. Ju Cai blinked rapidly at her, everything but impressed with her acting. He pulled the bed sheet down over her face and hugged the stammering little ghost, kissing her chin through the fabric. "You're essential, baby doll."
The burrito stopped moving. "Only you would say that when you're not looking at my face."
Sighing, he pulled the sheet off. "Better?"
"You're looking at me cross-eyed," Taylor laughed and pulled the sheet back over herself.
Ju Cai made an exasperated noise and moved away from her, picking up the other end of the bed sheet to hide underneath also. At that moment, she peeked the top of her head out from cover and shifted her eyes around. Her boyfriend did the same but kept his gaze fixed on her, and when she noticed him looking they stared at each other for a long time. Taylor eventually recessed back under her veil and Ju Cai pursued.
He reached a hand to the center of the bed sheet hanging over between them, pushing it upwards with the tips of his fingers so he could watch her breathe. "It's silly, but I've unwittingly fallen in love with you. When I asked you about coming to bed with me, I was happy you didn't say yes. I would've been sad to fall asleep together because we still would have been separated, and I would have still been alone."
Taylor knitted her brows together and rolled onto her side, facing towards him. "Hearing you say something like that scares me so much, Ju Cai."
"You're beautiful. Did you know that fear is the worst sin a man can have?"
"Is it, now?"
"Yes. Being afraid is self-sabotage." Ju Cai paused for a moment and exhaled slowly, his eyes focusing on something at the bottom of his vision as he thought about something. Then he looked back up and moved closer to her, close enough that he didn't have to hold the sheet up anymore just to look at her, and held the sides of her neck. "If you don't smile for me right now, then I'll have to kill you."
Taylor pursed her lips together and Ju Cai started counting.
"One," he said. Taylor tried to cover her face but he shook his head, placing his thumbs over her throat. "Two." Pause. "Three."
At this point she started to shake a little, trying to hold herself back.
"Four." Pause. He stroked her skin affectionately, regarding her beauty with sentimental favor. "Five." Pause. "Six." Pause. "Seven."
Taylor relaxed her face and suddenly wore an expression of seriousness that, if Ju Cai wasn't just being playful, might have provoked him into actually strangling her.
He felt himself worry before he thought, 'sin'. "Eight." Pause. "Nine." Pause. "You really aren't going to smile even though I'll choke you?"
"You didn't say what number you were counting up to."
"You're no use, baby doll." Delightfully baffled, he buried his face into her neck and said he loved her again. They laid there underneath the sheet, beginning to drift into sleep.
they were like two little ghosts as one fused manifestation.
***
Lionel entered the makeshift interrogation room with a bowl of clear liquid, placing it down onto the table in front of the captive and sighing as he folded his arms. "I know that you've been here for a long time, and as customary rule, I'm supposed to let you wash your hands and your face."
The man looked at the bowl with a mixed expression, though it was mostly suspicious. "I've never come across any customary rule like that."
"So glad to know that I'm your first," the French-Russian said sarcastically. "It's just water. You don't have to wash your face or your hands if you don't wish to. If you'd rather drink it or spill it all over yourself, go right ahead. But I'm not leaving until you do something."
The man looked at it uninterestedly, disdainfully. "Water is a symbol for life" was the last statement he said. It hung in the air like a bad omen, like some sort of dark, grasping fog over their heads. Perhaps it just came out darker than it was meant to; but being held in confinement, it was probably supposed to. It was harmful and unsafe. The feeling lasted for over ten minutes as they both stared intently at the bowl.
"It could also be a symbol of worse things to come if you'd let it behave that way." Whatever that meant.
Fifteen minutes more and the man finally relented. He reached out and dipped his hands into the bowl--suddenly recoiled, standing up quickly as if to watch his hands singe and transform red in horror.
Lionel picked up the bowl and went to the door, leaning out of it halfway. "As we give you time, your hands will develop boils and as you waste ours, the temperature in this room will continue to drop. Your skin will harden, crack, peel--in that order--and I'll personally return just to make sure that your boils burst. An infection will take place and no one will be coming to address it. As a result, you'll burn and discolor and your hands, with no other option, will putrefy. We don't want any apologies nor do we want any confessions. Answers are sufficient." He turned and began to leave, but changed his mind and crept back in to splash the remaining substance at the man. "This is just as a precaution."
He finally left out the door and turned his head ever so slightly towards another man who had red hair, the body of a Navy Seal and was monitoring the confined.
"repeat the last set of questions in order and then do it in C sequence."
"That's nice, but you're not Randy Knox, are you?" Ju Cai folded his shirts as nearly as he could with the phone jammed between his neck and shoulder. "Charles Friday? Ban Raftopoulos?"
"Those are boys' names." Eva whined and then stopped suddenly. "Are you cheating on me with other men?"
"Sweetie pie, I've got to pack."
"You're useless to me!" A dull, exasperated shriek was heard from the other line.
"I'm getting sick and tired of you, Miss Eva Lorenz. Do you hear me? I'm fed up!" Ju Cai threw the shirts into a duffel bag and ran his hand through his hair to push the limp threads away from his face. "I think that I may have mixed up one of those names. Ban is Japanese and Raftopoulos must be Greek... Whatever, all of it is whatever."
"Obviously it's Greek, Ju Cai."
"Oh, yes, obviously," he said sarcastically. "Because as we all know, I've totally met a fucking Greek before. I'm so glad I'll be gone." He bent down in front of his drawers to sift through his pants.
"Why won't you come see me?" Eva started getting hysterical. The Triad thought perhaps she'd snorted some coke prior to the call. "Why, Ju Cai? Why? I love you, don't you fucking know?"
"Do me a favor? Calm down, please." He rolled his eyes and made a face, suddenly thinking about his business trip to Serifos.
Eva could be heard sniffling, her voice beginning to sound somewhat milky. "Uh huh, uh huh."
"Are you okay now?"
"As well as.." She broke off for some reason and came back a few seconds later with a different tone. "Can be expected."
"I actually think you're doing better than that." Ju Cai's leg muscles swelled and then relaxed as he adjusted his crouched position on the floor. "I really think that."
"Meaning what? What does that mean?"
"Meaning that I think you've adapted well to our situation."
"Thank you." There was a long pause that Ju Cai was tempted to hang up over before Eva finally whispered out, "I miss you."
Ju Cai hung up and dropped his phone behind the dresser as someone knocked on his door with a padded fist. "Come in at your own discretion, I'm naked."
A young woman with a svelte figure confidently strode into the room, letting the door pull itself closed behind her. Her hair was almost artificially silky (it was really superbly well-taken care of) and fell in large, brown curls that stopped at her neck. She had worn a pretty cocktail dress today in celebration of the fine Spring weather, and kicked off one of her open toed pumps that showed off her day's old pedicure at Ju Cai's back. "I came in thinking that you truly were naked, and now I'm no longer excited to see you."
"Ow," Ju Cai picked up her shoe and placed it on the top of his dresser, getting up to tug her into a tight, warm hug. "If I took my clothes off now, would you be excited?"
She gasped. "You're so bad!"
"You're the one who got me started, cutie." He rested his arms around her waist and clasped his hands comfortably behind her back, nuzzling into her hair. "Golden brown, texture like sun."
The woman smiled brightly and kissed the side of his mouth, snaking an arm around his neck while she rested her other hand softly on his chest. "Again with your British music? Oh, I love you, Ju Cai."
He returned the smile and kissed the bridge of her nose twice. "I love you too, Taylor. Won't you come to bed with me?"
Laughing, she hit his shoulder with the palm of a very delicate-looking hand. "Now why on earth would I want to do that?"
"D'oh, no! That was a loaded question!" Ju Cai disentangled himself from her, clutching at his side as though he'd been dreadfully injured and falling back onto the bed. "You're a brute!" Taylor fell next to him and kicked her other shoe off, laughing heartily. "An absolute savage!"
"Oh, stop flattering me." She threw his arms around him but he pushed her away, looking pained.
"Can't you see I've been shot? Don't touch me. Help! I need medical assistance!"
"Stay still!" She uprighted herself and twisted her torso to pin Ju Cai's arms against the bed. As the Triad exclaimed "Never!" and overpowered her, Taylor squeaked and threw herself across his midsection.
Ju Cai lifted his head up to look at her, the muscles in his neck appearing for about a second before he relaxed again. "Now I'm bleeding to death."
"I'm your tourniquet."
"You would be, if you weren't squishing my viscera."
Taylor rolled off him and was barely successful at concealing her giggle until Ju Cai poked her armpit. She crossed her ankles over his lap and rubbed her feet together, feeling much less stressed than she had in weeks; months. Just the other day she had received an email that pinned her as partially responsible for the increased suicide rate in both girls and women who realized that they would never be able to look like her. Models ruined lives too.
Ju Cai moved his arm to put it around her waist but she wiggled out of it, plastering a histrionic pout onto her face. Ju Cai blinked rapidly at her, everything but impressed with her acting. He pulled the bed sheet down over her face and hugged the stammering little ghost, kissing her chin through the fabric. "You're essential, baby doll."
The burrito stopped moving. "Only you would say that when you're not looking at my face."
Sighing, he pulled the sheet off. "Better?"
"You're looking at me cross-eyed," Taylor laughed and pulled the sheet back over herself.
Ju Cai made an exasperated noise and moved away from her, picking up the other end of the bed sheet to hide underneath also. At that moment, she peeked the top of her head out from cover and shifted her eyes around. Her boyfriend did the same but kept his gaze fixed on her, and when she noticed him looking they stared at each other for a long time. Taylor eventually recessed back under her veil and Ju Cai pursued.
He reached a hand to the center of the bed sheet hanging over between them, pushing it upwards with the tips of his fingers so he could watch her breathe. "It's silly, but I've unwittingly fallen in love with you. When I asked you about coming to bed with me, I was happy you didn't say yes. I would've been sad to fall asleep together because we still would have been separated, and I would have still been alone."
Taylor knitted her brows together and rolled onto her side, facing towards him. "Hearing you say something like that scares me so much, Ju Cai."
"You're beautiful. Did you know that fear is the worst sin a man can have?"
"Is it, now?"
"Yes. Being afraid is self-sabotage." Ju Cai paused for a moment and exhaled slowly, his eyes focusing on something at the bottom of his vision as he thought about something. Then he looked back up and moved closer to her, close enough that he didn't have to hold the sheet up anymore just to look at her, and held the sides of her neck. "If you don't smile for me right now, then I'll have to kill you."
Taylor pursed her lips together and Ju Cai started counting.
"One," he said. Taylor tried to cover her face but he shook his head, placing his thumbs over her throat. "Two." Pause. "Three."
At this point she started to shake a little, trying to hold herself back.
"Four." Pause. He stroked her skin affectionately, regarding her beauty with sentimental favor. "Five." Pause. "Six." Pause. "Seven."
Taylor relaxed her face and suddenly wore an expression of seriousness that, if Ju Cai wasn't just being playful, might have provoked him into actually strangling her.
He felt himself worry before he thought, 'sin'. "Eight." Pause. "Nine." Pause. "You really aren't going to smile even though I'll choke you?"
"You didn't say what number you were counting up to."
"You're no use, baby doll." Delightfully baffled, he buried his face into her neck and said he loved her again. They laid there underneath the sheet, beginning to drift into sleep.
they were like two little ghosts as one fused manifestation.
***
Lionel entered the makeshift interrogation room with a bowl of clear liquid, placing it down onto the table in front of the captive and sighing as he folded his arms. "I know that you've been here for a long time, and as customary rule, I'm supposed to let you wash your hands and your face."
The man looked at the bowl with a mixed expression, though it was mostly suspicious. "I've never come across any customary rule like that."
"So glad to know that I'm your first," the French-Russian said sarcastically. "It's just water. You don't have to wash your face or your hands if you don't wish to. If you'd rather drink it or spill it all over yourself, go right ahead. But I'm not leaving until you do something."
The man looked at it uninterestedly, disdainfully. "Water is a symbol for life" was the last statement he said. It hung in the air like a bad omen, like some sort of dark, grasping fog over their heads. Perhaps it just came out darker than it was meant to; but being held in confinement, it was probably supposed to. It was harmful and unsafe. The feeling lasted for over ten minutes as they both stared intently at the bowl.
"It could also be a symbol of worse things to come if you'd let it behave that way." Whatever that meant.
Fifteen minutes more and the man finally relented. He reached out and dipped his hands into the bowl--suddenly recoiled, standing up quickly as if to watch his hands singe and transform red in horror.
Lionel picked up the bowl and went to the door, leaning out of it halfway. "As we give you time, your hands will develop boils and as you waste ours, the temperature in this room will continue to drop. Your skin will harden, crack, peel--in that order--and I'll personally return just to make sure that your boils burst. An infection will take place and no one will be coming to address it. As a result, you'll burn and discolor and your hands, with no other option, will putrefy. We don't want any apologies nor do we want any confessions. Answers are sufficient." He turned and began to leave, but changed his mind and crept back in to splash the remaining substance at the man. "This is just as a precaution."
He finally left out the door and turned his head ever so slightly towards another man who had red hair, the body of a Navy Seal and was monitoring the confined.
"repeat the last set of questions in order and then do it in C sequence."