10 things every single man must own By Matt Schneiderman
Here we go again:
1. A top-notch coffee/espresso maker
2. A lamp in your bedroom
3. Swiffer Sweeper + Swiffer Cloths + Swiffer Wet Cloths
4. A comfortable couch
5. Nice underwear
6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything
7. $150+ jeans
8. $200+ dress shoes
9. 300-thread-count cotton sheets
10. The Joy of Cooking
Sigh...by now it should be realized that these are not lists for living single, but instead lists that idiotic hacks get thrown a few hundred bucks to write for the sole purpose of educating the stupid, variety-obsessed, anxiety-fueled masses on how to get fucked based upon the things that they purchase. Not only are the suggestions tailor-made for nauseating yuppies, but they probably won't even work, and if the person that you're fucking is giving you their body for the things that are on these lists, then that's probably all that they're good for. But maybe that's how these assholes think.
Anyway, Matt, you're an uppercrust, slightly educated jerk off. Lots of folks further ludicrous stereotypes buddy, but for some reason you seem to have that precise goal in mind. Have you forgotten the lessons learned from Fight Club, Matt? (I'm assuming that pop culture is about as deep as this cat goes for his philosophy, if at all.) You are not what you own. But, you are what you say, and what you say is shit.
I almost laughed at your attempt at cleverness with numbers 7, 8, and 9, but then I remembered that you actually think that shit works, or worse, you know it doesn't but say it anyway because a ton of idiots will actually pay you and Rich Kaplan heed.
So, anyway, not to sound like too much of a fascist or anything, but don't you folks think that some people just deserve to die?
1. A top-notch coffee/espresso maker
2. A lamp in your bedroom
3. Swiffer Sweeper + Swiffer Cloths + Swiffer Wet Cloths
4. A comfortable couch
5. Nice underwear
6. A key-ring that can fix, cut, and open anything
7. $150+ jeans
8. $200+ dress shoes
9. 300-thread-count cotton sheets
10. The Joy of Cooking
Sigh...by now it should be realized that these are not lists for living single, but instead lists that idiotic hacks get thrown a few hundred bucks to write for the sole purpose of educating the stupid, variety-obsessed, anxiety-fueled masses on how to get fucked based upon the things that they purchase. Not only are the suggestions tailor-made for nauseating yuppies, but they probably won't even work, and if the person that you're fucking is giving you their body for the things that are on these lists, then that's probably all that they're good for. But maybe that's how these assholes think.
Anyway, Matt, you're an uppercrust, slightly educated jerk off. Lots of folks further ludicrous stereotypes buddy, but for some reason you seem to have that precise goal in mind. Have you forgotten the lessons learned from Fight Club, Matt? (I'm assuming that pop culture is about as deep as this cat goes for his philosophy, if at all.) You are not what you own. But, you are what you say, and what you say is shit.
I almost laughed at your attempt at cleverness with numbers 7, 8, and 9, but then I remembered that you actually think that shit works, or worse, you know it doesn't but say it anyway because a ton of idiots will actually pay you and Rich Kaplan heed.
So, anyway, not to sound like too much of a fascist or anything, but don't you folks think that some people just deserve to die?