(no subject)
I am gutted. My whole world has been turned upside down and I just don't know what to do. For the past two days I've just sat in my bedroom and refused to leave the house or talk to anyone, I even called in sick to work because I was too upset to go outside.
*deep breath*
Adam, my ex-boyfriend, dumped me a year ago. It was completely out of the blue and I've been wondering why he did it ever since. I think I might just have found out.
One of my friends had a party a few days ago but she didn't know that one of the guys she had invited would bring Adam along. I just about burst into tears when I saw him but I managed to smile and talk to him for a while. Then I saw him and this other guy leaving the room and I felt this instinctive urge to follow them. They didn't know I was watching when they went out onto the landing.
I saw them kissing. The man I loved for six years was standing there with his tongue down another man's throat. Is this why he left me? Was he lying to me for those years when we were living together and he swore over and over that he loved me? Eighteen months ago we were talking about getting MARRIED. Now I find out that I was replaced by a man? What the fuck is that all about?
I hate him for doing this to me but I would still take him back in a second if I thought he would love me again. Was I just his cover or something? Was he just using me? If he wants other men was he cheating on me? I don't know what to do. I'm so scared that the love I thought I had was never real.
How can I trust a man again after this? I want to believe that I could love someone else and that I could be loved again, but I'll always worry that the same thing will happen again and that I'll be lied to for years again.
I feel sick when I think about leaving the house. I feel more betrayed now than I did when he dumped me.
*deep breath*
Adam, my ex-boyfriend, dumped me a year ago. It was completely out of the blue and I've been wondering why he did it ever since. I think I might just have found out.
One of my friends had a party a few days ago but she didn't know that one of the guys she had invited would bring Adam along. I just about burst into tears when I saw him but I managed to smile and talk to him for a while. Then I saw him and this other guy leaving the room and I felt this instinctive urge to follow them. They didn't know I was watching when they went out onto the landing.
I saw them kissing. The man I loved for six years was standing there with his tongue down another man's throat. Is this why he left me? Was he lying to me for those years when we were living together and he swore over and over that he loved me? Eighteen months ago we were talking about getting MARRIED. Now I find out that I was replaced by a man? What the fuck is that all about?
I hate him for doing this to me but I would still take him back in a second if I thought he would love me again. Was I just his cover or something? Was he just using me? If he wants other men was he cheating on me? I don't know what to do. I'm so scared that the love I thought I had was never real.
How can I trust a man again after this? I want to believe that I could love someone else and that I could be loved again, but I'll always worry that the same thing will happen again and that I'll be lied to for years again.
I feel sick when I think about leaving the house. I feel more betrayed now than I did when he dumped me.