Fic: Shattered (Tony-centric) 8/?
Title: Shattered
Author: justhowthisgoes
Fandom: NCIS
Category: Angst
Pairing: Tiva
Rating: T
Spoilers: Up to Season 7
Summary: Tony can't sleep. He's worried about Ziva. Post-Aliyah angsty ficlets. Was a one-shot, but now extended to a multi-chapter by popular request.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.
What Is Real?
Dumbfounded.
Flabbergasted.
Bowled over.
He was quite sure that he had never before grasped the meaning of these phrases anywhere near as accurately as he did now.
Were his eyes deceiving him? He could hardly believe that they weren't.
And yet there she was.
Living, breathing, sitting right in front of him.
Looking a bit the worse for wear, but he'd worry about that later.
It was Ziva.
At that moment he didn't much care that they might not get out alive. He'd been dead before, after all.
At least now he had found what he was searching for, what he'd been missing all these months, what he'd thought was gone forever.
But now it was back, throbbing and smarting as if it had never left him.
Without it he had been deficient somehow.
Incomplete.
Alone.
But now… at the sight of her, of his true heart, all was restored.
Each beat was sheer agony, each pulsation utter ecstasy.
Bliss and woe coexisting in one beautiful, excruciating rhythm.
Pleasure and pain.
Joy and misery.
Tony and Ziva.
It was a familiar, yet alien feeling.
Tender and raw though it was, he welcomed it, greeted it with open arms.
He'd never in his wildest dreams thought he would experience it again.
Never thought he would feel again.
Never thought he could.
He had reconciled himself to a senseless existence, doomed to a lack of sensation or meaning.
Had thought he was past the point of no return, past feeling, and now found, to his pleasant surprise, that he wasn't after all.
He basked in this conclusion happily, greedily, lapping it up like water to a man dying of thirst.
An appropriate sentiment, considering they were in the desert at the moment.
The desert desert.
He took her in, every battered, filthy inch of her, and discovered that he was so glad-so glad-to find his heart again, to really feel again, no matter how it hurt, even if it was just to die, that a real smile crept across his face, his first since the news, since that terrible, devastating news, the news that had ripped him in two.
"Well, how was your summer?"
...
TBC
Author: justhowthisgoes
Fandom: NCIS
Category: Angst
Pairing: Tiva
Rating: T
Spoilers: Up to Season 7
Summary: Tony can't sleep. He's worried about Ziva. Post-Aliyah angsty ficlets. Was a one-shot, but now extended to a multi-chapter by popular request.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.
What Is Real?
Dumbfounded.
Flabbergasted.
Bowled over.
He was quite sure that he had never before grasped the meaning of these phrases anywhere near as accurately as he did now.
Were his eyes deceiving him? He could hardly believe that they weren't.
And yet there she was.
Living, breathing, sitting right in front of him.
Looking a bit the worse for wear, but he'd worry about that later.
It was Ziva.
At that moment he didn't much care that they might not get out alive. He'd been dead before, after all.
At least now he had found what he was searching for, what he'd been missing all these months, what he'd thought was gone forever.
But now it was back, throbbing and smarting as if it had never left him.
Without it he had been deficient somehow.
Incomplete.
Alone.
But now… at the sight of her, of his true heart, all was restored.
Each beat was sheer agony, each pulsation utter ecstasy.
Bliss and woe coexisting in one beautiful, excruciating rhythm.
Pleasure and pain.
Joy and misery.
Tony and Ziva.
It was a familiar, yet alien feeling.
Tender and raw though it was, he welcomed it, greeted it with open arms.
He'd never in his wildest dreams thought he would experience it again.
Never thought he would feel again.
Never thought he could.
He had reconciled himself to a senseless existence, doomed to a lack of sensation or meaning.
Had thought he was past the point of no return, past feeling, and now found, to his pleasant surprise, that he wasn't after all.
He basked in this conclusion happily, greedily, lapping it up like water to a man dying of thirst.
An appropriate sentiment, considering they were in the desert at the moment.
The desert desert.
He took her in, every battered, filthy inch of her, and discovered that he was so glad-so glad-to find his heart again, to really feel again, no matter how it hurt, even if it was just to die, that a real smile crept across his face, his first since the news, since that terrible, devastating news, the news that had ripped him in two.
"Well, how was your summer?"
...
TBC