So sorry I didn't see this until now... I haven't been on here in a while.
If I can't pity you... (which I wasn't go to do) let me sympathize. Because on every SINGLE one of these points I found myself nodding like crazy.
I have be maniacally depressed about every day of this year, and topics like lame personality and physical appearance are one of the many, MANY things I have struggled with. I am not going to tell you don't not be confidant of your body because you're in amazing shape, because it doesn't help the situation and it feels like people just say that to make you feel better, which in a twisted way seems to confirm that you really don't have a good body. Nonetheless, you have one of the most amazing work ethics I have ever seen; you work out or go and play tennis nearly every day, you are always eating apples, always drinking milk... you're incredibly healthy. And truly TRULY that is what matters. I'm being very hypocritical because I hate the word healthy I love people saying i'm skinny and tiny. We can't help it. But please, please know that your body loves you because you're treating it very well. And we can always cut back on the ice cream (i bought sorbet the other day, very yummy and non-fat!) and always run rather than watch MTV, but I get the totally desperate wish to look like Gemma and have it happen like STAT.
PHEW. Next point.
Personality. That's so strange to hear you say that because you have one of the most beautiful personalites I have ever known. It's so so SO easy just to sneak into Peppertree Park and eat chocolate chips with you because you're so bubbly and fun, and you're an excellent listener. Personally though, I've noticed I'm like 50 different people depending on who I'm with. There's only a select few that I can truly act as what I think is "myself". But with Kari or Hannah or Alyssa or Branche or even Kendra now I can't talk or find myself trying to be funny but end up saying pointless things; i feel awkward and out of place and uncomfortable. What makes me do that? What makes us try to conform? Or be guarded? I think with you Mallory you just need time to get to know people really well... and nothing is wrong with that. It sort of makes meeting people more worth it because if they really care they'll stick around, you know?
dl;kjfa;kldfj PRETTY. Dear lord.... Alli's right. You're gorgeous. The height, the hair, the smile, the lips (helloooo I was just saying to Alisa the other day that ANYONE who is pretty has big lips; ie, Jenny Garner, Evangeline Lilly, Gemma again.... it's such blessing, embrace it!) the style.... need I go on?
Ahh drinking! Torn! How many times have I struggled with this issue?! It's so tough because you know it's wrong and dumb too, but yet it looks SO FUN and curiosity just gets the best of you. Just know that you're not alone on this one...
Faith... Wow. This is amazing because I've acutally been kind of scared to tell you this. Hume Lake, rather than enrich my faith did more to frighten it away. It scares me. So many scary, bad, hateful things are associated with it now that I've overlooked the good things. Sometimes religion seems to block common sense, which bothers me SO MUCH. I question (which I honestly don't think is a bad thing) every single day. I am very doubtful, and feel blah about going to church. Sometimes I think what kind of sick joke is it that God would make a planet and humans and have them have to make good choices and if they don't have to suffer after a miniscule mortal life for ever and ever and ever. Who does that? If all He wants is for people to love Him why didn't he make people in heaven and not bother with Earth have so much pain and hate and strife and hunger and war and insanity? Do humans just find comfort in the fact that when you die it's not over? Remember at the desert and looking at the stars... it' almost kind of creepy to think about living forever. Blahhh I don't know. We need to talk about this.
Hahahaha the sex issue. I know. It's not like you're advocating go off and be sluts and sleep around when you're 16... but when you're an adult and are responsible and safe and are not getting married, is it wrong?
The family dieing problem is more for me at night. I get scared out of my mind thinking of the day where I'll get the news that my mom died. Or my dad. What will I do without them? It's horrible to think about.
Mallory, you are confused. I honestly think most teenagers are. It's a crazy, awful, exhilerating time that we all just get worn out and rather dazed.
I just reread this and I noticed it's all about me. NOT MY INTENT. I want you to know as one of your friends that you are indeed a gorgeous, incredibly kind and hilarious girl who has a fan club. Hang in there and know you're not alone, because times like these feel so isolating.... but it's really not the case.
Haha, that was the longest comment I have ever seen, also one of the best. I liked it because it wasn't about me. You gave really good advice. We really should get together and just talk, nothing else. It sounds like we are kind of in the same situations right now. Just talk. Wouldn't that be fun?
I am exactly the same, like around certain people, I really feel that I am being myself. But around others, I just don't know what to say and if I do say something I end up regretting it because it was dumb. Why? Its not like I think mentally to change, I just do. Hm.
I almost wish I was in Jr. High again because everything was so innocent. In Jr. High, I knew for a fact that I would never drink . But it IS fun, and a lot of it is curiosity. And its not like I am going and getting wasted and making out with 10 guys, so no harm done right?
Faith, God, Religion...too crazy to even comprehend. Forever, don't you think that at one point you will just want it to be over and not have your spirit or whatever last. FOREVER wow. That never ever ends. Weird.
Yeah, I don't want to die a virgin, as weird as that sounds, haha. Me and Veronica have a joke that there will be a 40-year old Virgin 2 and there will be a picture of me smiling on the cover. Haha.
Okay. Well, thanks for being wonderful. I don't know what I would do without you. ILU more.
SEE YOU AT PROM IN 2 DAYS, so much fun, don't forget about the 19th song. You and me.
So sorry I didn't see this until now... I haven't been on here in a while.
If I can't pity you... (which I wasn't go to do) let me sympathize. Because on every SINGLE one of these points I found myself nodding like crazy.
I have be maniacally depressed about every day of this year, and topics like lame personality and physical appearance are one of the many, MANY things I have struggled with. I am not going to tell you don't not be confidant of your body because you're in amazing shape, because it doesn't help the situation and it feels like people just say that to make you feel better, which in a twisted way seems to confirm that you really don't have a good body. Nonetheless, you have one of the most amazing work ethics I have ever seen; you work out or go and play tennis nearly every day, you are always eating apples, always drinking milk... you're incredibly healthy. And truly TRULY that is what matters. I'm being very hypocritical because I hate the word healthy I love people saying i'm skinny and tiny. We can't help it. But please, please know that your body loves you because you're treating it very well. And we can always cut back on the ice cream (i bought sorbet the other day, very yummy and non-fat!) and always run rather than watch MTV, but I get the totally desperate wish to look like Gemma and have it happen like STAT.
PHEW. Next point.
Personality. That's so strange to hear you say that because you have one of the most beautiful personalites I have ever known. It's so so SO easy just to sneak into Peppertree Park and eat chocolate chips with you because you're so bubbly and fun, and you're an excellent listener. Personally though, I've noticed I'm like 50 different people depending on who I'm with. There's only a select few that I can truly act as what I think is "myself". But with Kari or Hannah or Alyssa or Branche or even Kendra now I can't talk or find myself trying to be funny but end up saying pointless things; i feel awkward and out of place and uncomfortable. What makes me do that? What makes us try to conform? Or be guarded? I think with you Mallory you just need time to get to know people really well... and nothing is wrong with that. It sort of makes meeting people more worth it because if they really care they'll stick around, you know?
dl;kjfa;kldfj PRETTY. Dear lord.... Alli's right. You're gorgeous. The height, the hair, the smile, the lips (helloooo I was just saying to Alisa the other day that ANYONE who is pretty has big lips; ie, Jenny Garner, Evangeline Lilly, Gemma again.... it's such blessing, embrace it!) the style.... need I go on?
Ahh drinking! Torn! How many times have I struggled with this issue?! It's so tough because you know it's wrong and dumb too, but yet it looks SO FUN and curiosity just gets the best of you. Just know that you're not alone on this one...
Faith... Wow. This is amazing because I've acutally been kind of scared to tell you this. Hume Lake, rather than enrich my faith did more to frighten it away. It scares me. So many scary, bad, hateful things are associated with it now that I've overlooked the good things. Sometimes religion seems to block common sense, which bothers me SO MUCH. I question (which I honestly don't think is a bad thing) every single day. I am very doubtful, and feel blah about going to church. Sometimes I think what kind of sick joke is it that God would make a planet and humans and have them have to make good choices and if they don't have to suffer after a miniscule mortal life for ever and ever and ever. Who does that? If all He wants is for people to love Him why didn't he make people in heaven and not bother with Earth have so much pain and hate and strife and hunger and war and insanity? Do humans just find comfort in the fact that when you die it's not over? Remember at the desert and looking at the stars... it' almost kind of creepy to think about living forever. Blahhh I don't know. We need to talk about this.
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The family dieing problem is more for me at night. I get scared out of my mind thinking of the day where I'll get the news that my mom died. Or my dad. What will I do without them? It's horrible to think about.
Mallory, you are confused. I honestly think most teenagers are. It's a crazy, awful, exhilerating time that we all just get worn out and rather dazed.
I just reread this and I noticed it's all about me. NOT MY INTENT. I want you to know as one of your friends that you are indeed a gorgeous, incredibly kind and hilarious girl who has a fan club. Hang in there and know you're not alone, because times like these feel so isolating.... but it's really not the case.
ILU.
Reply
I am exactly the same, like around certain people, I really feel that I am being myself. But around others, I just don't know what to say and if I do say something I end up regretting it because it was dumb. Why? Its not like I think mentally to change, I just do. Hm.
I almost wish I was in Jr. High again because everything was so innocent. In Jr. High, I knew for a fact that I would never drink . But it IS fun, and a lot of it is curiosity. And its not like I am going and getting wasted and making out with 10 guys, so no harm done right?
Faith, God, Religion...too crazy to even comprehend. Forever, don't you think that at one point you will just want it to be over and not have your spirit or whatever last. FOREVER wow. That never ever ends. Weird.
Yeah, I don't want to die a virgin, as weird as that sounds, haha. Me and Veronica have a joke that there will be a 40-year old Virgin 2 and there will be a picture of me smiling on the cover. Haha.
Okay. Well, thanks for being wonderful. I don't know what I would do without you. ILU more.
SEE YOU AT PROM IN 2 DAYS, so much fun, don't forget about the 19th song. You and me.
Reply
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