summer sucks
The faint music was still going as i slowly walked down the main all of my second job of the day. I wasn't really listening to it, nor was i completely there in my mind. but my feet kept walking. As i walked out the side door into the warm summer air, i sighed. Then took a deep breath. The day was over. As i walked to my croockedly parked teal car. I exhaled still not really thinking about what i was doing. Got to the car, opened the door and got in. My body went into autopilot as i started the car rolled down the window and turned on the lights. Music was faintly playing and as i put the car in reverse i turned it up. Not listening to a thing that was playing but doing it out of habit. I got on the road and started to drive my usual route. It was as if i wasn't even really there. I was watching myself. And yet. I couldn't see myself. Getting onto the high way i picked up speed to fifty five and auto matically thought wow there's lots of people out tonight. Then everything went black. I hadn't passed out or closed my eyes or hit my head or gotten into yet another car accident. Next thing i knew i was on the bridge practically hugging the railing with the wheels of my car. I had drifted. Not only in the car but my mind was else where. Halfway home i realized i wasn't even doing the speedlimit anymore. I was driving like a loony old lady who shouldn't be driving in the first place. My muscles were tired, my head was tired, my eyes were barely staying open. I finally made it home by quarter of 10. Pulled into the driveway and sat there. Not wanting to move. Went into auto pilot again and turned off the lights, turned down the radio, and turned off the car. Rolled up the window and slowly got out. Slowly meaning in the pace of a turtle. Grabbed my Backpack, lunchbox, togo coffee mug, KTP shirt and work pants and my water bottle and trudged up the stairs to the door. It felt like it took all the energy i had to open the door turn off the light close the door and lock it. I let out a sigh. If this was Adult hood then i didn't want to be part of it. Look at me for gosh sake, my hands were practically dragging on the floor my eyes were barely slits and i could barely keep from dragging my feet. Summer sucks i thought as i emptied my huge ass lunch box, my dad came in the room I dont even remember the conversation we had. Still on auto pilot i dragged myself to the bathroom did my normal routine and then dragged my tired body up to my room. it was a disaster area. After my fit this morning frantically looking for my shoes i had made it a mess. I mumbled something to myself threw everything that had been on my bed on to the floor and groaned. Falling backwards onto my bed i closed my eyes. The room seemed to spin a bit i opened my eyes and got changed into "comfy clothes" Talking to inanomit objects on my bed telling them to get out of my way i practically collapsed. The day was finally done. and i was exausted. I needed fun. I didn't even know if i remembered how to have fun. I let out a sigh crawled under my covers and groaned again my muscles ached. Closing my eyes again i thought to myself. "i have to go and do this over again tomorrow. and the next day and the next day...." Sighing i finally relaxed.