reflect, appreciate
So I look back on 2008 as a whole. At first all I can recall is the time since I met you. That time in my life has a glow around it in my memory. I have never been happier. I have never been happier with myself, who I am, who I surround myself with, my goals, my dreams, and my future. Since I met you, every piece in my life has seemed to fall into place.
December 31, 2007. I was living in Brockton, on Auburn street. We had mice. The bathroom door was broken. The landlord was on my case because my old roommate owed 2 months rent and left without paying. My current roommates were struggling to pay rent yet drank and smoked everyday. We were two months late on paying all 3 of our utility bills, all three which are in my name. I paid the bills out of my own pocket myself, to this day people from auburn street owe me around $600.00, which Ill never see. January, February, and March I drank too much. I partied too much. Grades were dropping like flies. I took on too much with Bridgewater cheering and did everything myself. I hated going to work. I was stuck giving Josh rides, 4 times a day, at my inconvenience. April, I moved into his house. Lived miserably stepping on eggshells around him and his mom. Finished cheering, finished school, finished partying. Put the rest of my debt onto my credit card and plunged into credit card debt. Hated where I lived, hated work, sick of going out every night, still drinking too much. that was the 2008 I was trying to forget. That was shit. That was me being an immature "college kid".
At the end of 2008, I feel like all of that is gone. I feel like an accomplished adult with more anticipation of the future than ever. I am ready to be done school, I am done with mindless partying and drinking and stressing out over little things like cheerleading drama. There is more to life than my job. There is more to life than the way I was living and acting.
You taught me so much that you will never know. You made me see how amazing people can be. Ive always had my parents and family but the people in my life that I saw every day like Josh and Jason really drained the life out of me. Meeting you was like bringing me to life.
You put up with me when I was fussy or upset, even if it was over something stupid. You knew how to make me laugh from day one. You always knew how to cheer me up when I was down, encourage me when I was defeated, calm me down when I was stressed, and make me laugh harder, even when I was already laughing. You took care of me in every little way. You always made me feel like the most important person in the room. We'd be at a party and you'd be off doing your own thing, but you'd always look over and catch my eye or you'd come over and check on me. Every time you held out your hand for me to hold my heart skipped a beat. Every time I caught your eye I felt that you wanted to be with me and that one second could make my day.
You value your family, you're loyal and caring to your friends, you're the most fun out of anyone ive ever hung out with, you seem to know how to do everything, you seem to always know the answer, you seem to always know exactly what I need.
The first day we hung out I knew that I wanted you to like me. Ever since then I wanted to make you happy. I only hope that I have made you half as happy as you have made me.
I cant believe you fell in love with me. i cant believe that you chose me. Out of all of the girls in the world, out of all of the girls that you could have had, you asked me to marry you...
As I reflect back on 2008, I think of who I became with you. I feel stronger and happier and ready for the next step in my life. I dont think of life in terms of just me anymore, which is great. I think of life in terms of us, of you and me. Where we will be in five years, where we will be in ten, twenty. I look forward to every minute with you.
2009 will be long, difficult, and unpredictable. I do know this though, I will think about you every single day, every minute and that will make my days happy. I will talk to you as much as I can and hearing your voice will be the highlight of every day. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. I wear your dog tags and ring with so much pride. When you come home, I will be so happy I wont know how to handle it! Seeing you on leave will be incredible. I am looking forward to this year. I am looking forward to you. You are my everything. I love you so much. Happy New Year baby.
December 31, 2007. I was living in Brockton, on Auburn street. We had mice. The bathroom door was broken. The landlord was on my case because my old roommate owed 2 months rent and left without paying. My current roommates were struggling to pay rent yet drank and smoked everyday. We were two months late on paying all 3 of our utility bills, all three which are in my name. I paid the bills out of my own pocket myself, to this day people from auburn street owe me around $600.00, which Ill never see. January, February, and March I drank too much. I partied too much. Grades were dropping like flies. I took on too much with Bridgewater cheering and did everything myself. I hated going to work. I was stuck giving Josh rides, 4 times a day, at my inconvenience. April, I moved into his house. Lived miserably stepping on eggshells around him and his mom. Finished cheering, finished school, finished partying. Put the rest of my debt onto my credit card and plunged into credit card debt. Hated where I lived, hated work, sick of going out every night, still drinking too much. that was the 2008 I was trying to forget. That was shit. That was me being an immature "college kid".
At the end of 2008, I feel like all of that is gone. I feel like an accomplished adult with more anticipation of the future than ever. I am ready to be done school, I am done with mindless partying and drinking and stressing out over little things like cheerleading drama. There is more to life than my job. There is more to life than the way I was living and acting.
You taught me so much that you will never know. You made me see how amazing people can be. Ive always had my parents and family but the people in my life that I saw every day like Josh and Jason really drained the life out of me. Meeting you was like bringing me to life.
You put up with me when I was fussy or upset, even if it was over something stupid. You knew how to make me laugh from day one. You always knew how to cheer me up when I was down, encourage me when I was defeated, calm me down when I was stressed, and make me laugh harder, even when I was already laughing. You took care of me in every little way. You always made me feel like the most important person in the room. We'd be at a party and you'd be off doing your own thing, but you'd always look over and catch my eye or you'd come over and check on me. Every time you held out your hand for me to hold my heart skipped a beat. Every time I caught your eye I felt that you wanted to be with me and that one second could make my day.
You value your family, you're loyal and caring to your friends, you're the most fun out of anyone ive ever hung out with, you seem to know how to do everything, you seem to always know the answer, you seem to always know exactly what I need.
The first day we hung out I knew that I wanted you to like me. Ever since then I wanted to make you happy. I only hope that I have made you half as happy as you have made me.
I cant believe you fell in love with me. i cant believe that you chose me. Out of all of the girls in the world, out of all of the girls that you could have had, you asked me to marry you...
As I reflect back on 2008, I think of who I became with you. I feel stronger and happier and ready for the next step in my life. I dont think of life in terms of just me anymore, which is great. I think of life in terms of us, of you and me. Where we will be in five years, where we will be in ten, twenty. I look forward to every minute with you.
2009 will be long, difficult, and unpredictable. I do know this though, I will think about you every single day, every minute and that will make my days happy. I will talk to you as much as I can and hearing your voice will be the highlight of every day. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. I wear your dog tags and ring with so much pride. When you come home, I will be so happy I wont know how to handle it! Seeing you on leave will be incredible. I am looking forward to this year. I am looking forward to you. You are my everything. I love you so much. Happy New Year baby.