(no subject)
for the first time in a very long time, i'm happy. i'm not stressing over things left and right. i'm not lonely. i'm not sad. and i absolutely love it. i'm seeing someone. and i don't feel the need to talk to him every day. but at the same time, when i'm with him, i feel like i could get used to having him around. he has all these qualities wrapped up together, and previously i'd feel so insecure about being around him. but i don't even care. he likes me. and he's the most gorgeous guy. he's buff. he's pierced. he's freaking hilarious. he cuddles. he's the most amazing kisser ever. and he likes me. did i mention he's also seeing someone else and i don't even care? me, jealousy ridden me. and i'm ok with him dating both of us. i don't NEED him. and i think that this is a huge milestone for me. i don't need to be the only person he wants to be with. i don't need for him to be there constantly. i don't need to talk to him everyday or i'll freak out. i don't need him, because i can be on my own. i don't need a man to complete me. and this is the most amazing feeling ever. i feel prettier lately. (ok, i know that's completely superficial, but it's true) i feel like i don't have to impress anyone. even though i'm technically jobless after the 1st of the month, i'm not worried. i have the fair lined up, and i'm talking to another doctor about a job. a job at a new store, so it's actually less busy. and would be less stressful. except for it's 25-30 minutes away. even that doesn't bother me. also, things with duncan and i's reunion went well. there are no weird vibes between us, and he's great to hang out with, and i'm so happy with how that all turned out. i was super duper worried about that one. and it's beautiful. and he and i are so much alike it's not even funny. like my awful sense of direction. he's the worst navigator ever. and send us to the store for 4 items, we'll forget one. and when we go back for it, we'll get the wrong kind and have to go back again. i think he, chrissie and i are hanging out monday before he goes back. that should be fun. i called him tonight, and we just bullshit for 20 minutes. i told him about work, he talked about his work, and school and how he misses his friends and family. he goes back next weekend. uh so this has gotten kinda long. now it's dinner time. dinner = rice w/sugar. yum. <33