I'm a terrible movie critic
You'd think with all the movies I've watched I'd be somewhat good at it, but no, I'm a terrible judge, it all comes down to gut-feelings and usually a simple "I liked." The analysis of it all sometimes boggles my mind and even when I do have something smart to say, it's all bullshit in someone else's mind. Maybe that's how this opinion shit works, but it's frustrating to me. I will never seize being a math person even though it has been a while since I've done any or have been good at it. Perhaps I can take joy in the fact that things aren't black and white, that you can talk about it, and things can change, but why when there's a problem and solution and one damn answer, isn't it so much easier that way? Well, I guess once you get to higher mathematics all hell breaks loose anyway and those damn proofs, where do you go from there, life gets truly complicated. I struggle trying to figure out where I belong, what my role is in life, how big or how small. It seems that within this large world there a bunch of smaller ones, our own little bubbles, some are strong, some weak, some poor, and some rich, and some can burst and disappear within seconds and most of the world wouldn't even know it. How do you keep up with your life knowing about the others and their misfortunes, how does that make you feel, and maybe that's why people don't know, they're helpless, we go back to our lives anyway, that's what we know and what we truly care about, let's not kid ourselves.
I went to see Lord of War, I had much to write about it last night, words streaming through my mind, a strange feeling for someone who hardly writes, whose friends aren't words, but now the moment has passed anyhow. I feel lucky once in a while knowing where I am in life, knowing that's where a lot of people aren't, yet that will not stop me from feeling sorry for myself and crying because I don't feel happy sometimes. After all, it is my life, everybody has shit to deal with, it just ranges in "importance," which is relevant anyway, our priorities simply change. At the bottom you want at least a little something, in the middle you still want more, and at the top you have forgotten about all the others and you will always want more. I don't even know what I'm talking about, thoughts are just jumbled, it would have been easier with a math equation.
So, for now, instead of worrying about life, I'd like to get to the movie theater just a little bit earlier to get the best seats in the house (or the best available, some fill up quickly and it sucks sitting in that front row) and watch the previews. The previews are an essential part of the movie experience, go rent a fucking movie if you don't want them. I enter into a special place where I get to find out what other possible stories I may want to sit in on in the future, what will touch me in whatever way even if I can't analyze it. It's about forgetting those other people, in fact, forgetting the world, and entering another, far from your own, or sometimes so close it hurts, you're simply in another bubble, you'll take away something from it if it was worth being there. Nachos used to be an essential part of this experience, not so much anymore unless I'm with my brother.
I'm definitely hungry now, good thing there's food in the kitchen.
(Some people draw their thoughts instead of writing them down...I would if I could draw.)
Love,
Anna Y.
I went to see Lord of War, I had much to write about it last night, words streaming through my mind, a strange feeling for someone who hardly writes, whose friends aren't words, but now the moment has passed anyhow. I feel lucky once in a while knowing where I am in life, knowing that's where a lot of people aren't, yet that will not stop me from feeling sorry for myself and crying because I don't feel happy sometimes. After all, it is my life, everybody has shit to deal with, it just ranges in "importance," which is relevant anyway, our priorities simply change. At the bottom you want at least a little something, in the middle you still want more, and at the top you have forgotten about all the others and you will always want more. I don't even know what I'm talking about, thoughts are just jumbled, it would have been easier with a math equation.
So, for now, instead of worrying about life, I'd like to get to the movie theater just a little bit earlier to get the best seats in the house (or the best available, some fill up quickly and it sucks sitting in that front row) and watch the previews. The previews are an essential part of the movie experience, go rent a fucking movie if you don't want them. I enter into a special place where I get to find out what other possible stories I may want to sit in on in the future, what will touch me in whatever way even if I can't analyze it. It's about forgetting those other people, in fact, forgetting the world, and entering another, far from your own, or sometimes so close it hurts, you're simply in another bubble, you'll take away something from it if it was worth being there. Nachos used to be an essential part of this experience, not so much anymore unless I'm with my brother.
I'm definitely hungry now, good thing there's food in the kitchen.
(Some people draw their thoughts instead of writing them down...I would if I could draw.)
Love,
Anna Y.