(no subject)
2011 is drawing to a close
and 2012 beckons.
somehow it feels like time has swiftly gone by
yet much has happened.
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in 2011
i took on the role of parent to a larger extent than i took the role of a sibling and child.
deep within me
to a certain extent
i resent this intrusion.
i resented having to bear the burden
of supporting the family
as the oldest child.
it felt heavy, this load.
until a friend's words enlightened me.
-- that everyone had to play their part.
and i had unwittingly took on parts of others
before they stepped up
i cannot save the world.
when i cannot save myself.
this year, i learnt to love myself more.
and put myself first before others.
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i feel like i never had much of childhood
always implicitly controlled
by my mom's expectations of myself.
this year
i took a step back
and threw caution to the wind.
it felt good
living life as me.
this life is mine
and i bear all consequences
of having lived it.
twin emotions exist in dichtomy
shame, at only starting to live my life at 24
and a glimmer or pride interwoven with hope
that life has finally begun.
this year, i learnt about the person i am
the insecurities and fears that reside within me.
and learnt how to keep going, without forgetting positivity
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work has been challenging and stressful this year.
god knows how much hair i've forcibly shed over work-related woes.
this year i learnt to grow,
and take the initiative in pursuing the unknown
i've learnt that i am stronger than i think i am
and have much potential for growth
============================
this year
i returned to serve at audible hearts
this might be my swan song
for all organisations need fresh blood
and new perspectives to keep it growing.
the hiatus did illuminate the cause we serve
back to basics
we need a good foundation moving forward.
this year i learnt
that principles keep us going
and passion drives us when strength fails
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what needs work in the year ahead
1. practicing a positive mindset and thoughts
2. saving up and being financially prudent
3. doing better at work and home
4. keeping to a fitness regime of runs every other day
5. being true to myself and listening to my heart
here's to love, hope and joy in 2012
(amidst the trials and tribulations that may await)
xoxoxo