decisions, for the indecisive
im caught up in all of this.
why is it that when we're lonely we have no boys, but when one turns up, several others do aswell? thing is you gotta know which ones to cut loose, which ones are worth staying.
im so indecisive, i have pros and cons, and lists, and everything to help me decide what to do, whats the right choice to make, but either way someones gonna get fucked over, and it will probably be me in the end. i cant speak to myself. i dont know what i want, i dont know what my mind wants i dont know what my heart wants.
i want everyone to like me, not like like me, not love me. i cant help it when people want to take it to the next level. thats where i suck. im shit at confrontation, i dont know how to say no, and i care way too much about how other people feel or how they will react. i know i should start thinking about doing things for me, and only me, but lets be honest.. i cant. i try and search myself to figure out what my heart is telling me, and i dont even understand it. its been weeks now and im unable to make a decision. ive just been on the go with the flow approach which is slowly but surely making things worse.
i hope i make a decision soon, or better yet, someone makes a decision for me. and i hope its the right one. and to be honest i dont want a relationship right now. you know, i do, but its england, and im leaving. and theres no way im gonna make the mistake of staying in, or going back to england for a guy. look how amazingly well that one turned out (plz note sarcasm).
this situation is getting more complex each day. the people involved and their emotions grow stronger each day. this has been giving me a lot of grief and a lot of stress.. and it should. because im not proud of who im becoming right now. i want to be true to myself, but i dont even know who myself is.
why is it that when we're lonely we have no boys, but when one turns up, several others do aswell? thing is you gotta know which ones to cut loose, which ones are worth staying.
im so indecisive, i have pros and cons, and lists, and everything to help me decide what to do, whats the right choice to make, but either way someones gonna get fucked over, and it will probably be me in the end. i cant speak to myself. i dont know what i want, i dont know what my mind wants i dont know what my heart wants.
i want everyone to like me, not like like me, not love me. i cant help it when people want to take it to the next level. thats where i suck. im shit at confrontation, i dont know how to say no, and i care way too much about how other people feel or how they will react. i know i should start thinking about doing things for me, and only me, but lets be honest.. i cant. i try and search myself to figure out what my heart is telling me, and i dont even understand it. its been weeks now and im unable to make a decision. ive just been on the go with the flow approach which is slowly but surely making things worse.
i hope i make a decision soon, or better yet, someone makes a decision for me. and i hope its the right one. and to be honest i dont want a relationship right now. you know, i do, but its england, and im leaving. and theres no way im gonna make the mistake of staying in, or going back to england for a guy. look how amazingly well that one turned out (plz note sarcasm).
this situation is getting more complex each day. the people involved and their emotions grow stronger each day. this has been giving me a lot of grief and a lot of stress.. and it should. because im not proud of who im becoming right now. i want to be true to myself, but i dont even know who myself is.