long day
Karaoke was good. Peter, Phil, James, Brian, Jason, Andrea, and a whole host of others all showed up tonight. It was wonderful seeing so many friends, although I did feel a little bad because just as I'd get into a conversation with one person, almost immediately someone else would come by to chat. It felt great to be surrounded tonight by such different, funny, intelligent, diverse people. I'm so honored to have such a diverse span of friends and acquaintances. I truly believe that you never gain anything by pre-judging people before you've spoken to them. I've learned more from other's amazing life stories that I could've just staying in my own little comfort zone... if that makes any sense.
Anyway, I'm a little dis-heartened. I made an apology to someone that deserved it (the apology, that is) and did not get a response. Maybe I hurt them too badly, I dunno. I'm not the type to be rude and not own up to it, and I suppose that if I cross a line and it can not be forgiven, well, I just have to accept it and move on. I'm still willing to talk it over, sweetie. You know my number.
Otherwise... things have been slowly getting back to normal. I have my good days, that's for sure. If it was not for Red, Phil, and Jenna, and most of my LJ buds, lately I think I'd lose my mind. Not that I don't have other wonderful friends in my life... it's just that their "drama" is SO self-inflicted and they take NO responsibility for it... I just can't be as, well, understanding as I normally would be to their issues. For example: "Chauncy is ignoring me lately and talking to his guy friends more and complaining about how I never give him sex and how I never clean the house but I'm the one that makes more money and why do I have to be the one to cook and do these jeans make my ass look fat and oh, I'm sorry, how are you? But seriously is he looking at that other girl and do I not satisfy him and JESUS heaven forbid if I'm not in the mood and I just don't feel like I get enough attention...... ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ."
And they call me the drama queen. ;)
I tell ya, Gran's death has really changed the way I look life. I just want so badly to make her proud, and I feel her around me all the time. I'm so lucky and so incredibly blessed! So much so that I have a hard time believing I deserve the wonderful friends and fiancee that I have. I always have them in my heart, too... I just need to get better at showing my love on a regular basis. I suppose people could think I'm full of shit... because when I see the ones I love I tend to gush. However, I don't keep in regular contact with these same people, so I could understand how my gushing could be perceived as an act. It's SO not, though! (Hair toss, giggle.) ;) Seriously though, I truly mean what I say. The few people I don't like will at least say that much: I have no problem letting people know when they are being a shit (which is why it's a wonder that Peter and I are still friends!). However, this is a new thing for me, so if I haven't spoken to you in awhile, beware... :)
Anyway... when I compliment you, I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass, which I guess is the point I'm getting slowly around to making. My loving words all truly come from my heart.
Anyway, I suppose I've ranted on long enough.
On a personal note: I miss you so much, Jen, Scott, and Sis. I hope all is well for you all. My heart is always with you, and you are always in my thoughts.
Anyway, I'm a little dis-heartened. I made an apology to someone that deserved it (the apology, that is) and did not get a response. Maybe I hurt them too badly, I dunno. I'm not the type to be rude and not own up to it, and I suppose that if I cross a line and it can not be forgiven, well, I just have to accept it and move on. I'm still willing to talk it over, sweetie. You know my number.
Otherwise... things have been slowly getting back to normal. I have my good days, that's for sure. If it was not for Red, Phil, and Jenna, and most of my LJ buds, lately I think I'd lose my mind. Not that I don't have other wonderful friends in my life... it's just that their "drama" is SO self-inflicted and they take NO responsibility for it... I just can't be as, well, understanding as I normally would be to their issues. For example: "Chauncy is ignoring me lately and talking to his guy friends more and complaining about how I never give him sex and how I never clean the house but I'm the one that makes more money and why do I have to be the one to cook and do these jeans make my ass look fat and oh, I'm sorry, how are you? But seriously is he looking at that other girl and do I not satisfy him and JESUS heaven forbid if I'm not in the mood and I just don't feel like I get enough attention...... ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ."
And they call me the drama queen. ;)
I tell ya, Gran's death has really changed the way I look life. I just want so badly to make her proud, and I feel her around me all the time. I'm so lucky and so incredibly blessed! So much so that I have a hard time believing I deserve the wonderful friends and fiancee that I have. I always have them in my heart, too... I just need to get better at showing my love on a regular basis. I suppose people could think I'm full of shit... because when I see the ones I love I tend to gush. However, I don't keep in regular contact with these same people, so I could understand how my gushing could be perceived as an act. It's SO not, though! (Hair toss, giggle.) ;) Seriously though, I truly mean what I say. The few people I don't like will at least say that much: I have no problem letting people know when they are being a shit (which is why it's a wonder that Peter and I are still friends!). However, this is a new thing for me, so if I haven't spoken to you in awhile, beware... :)
Anyway... when I compliment you, I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass, which I guess is the point I'm getting slowly around to making. My loving words all truly come from my heart.
Anyway, I suppose I've ranted on long enough.
On a personal note: I miss you so much, Jen, Scott, and Sis. I hope all is well for you all. My heart is always with you, and you are always in my thoughts.