Jan 28, 2008 22:48
most entries should probably be friends only but I just recently decided that I don't really care. been ignoring it a lot lately but the fact is I still have no idea who I am and what I like, wish i could be more clear but that's about as far as my thoughts go. wish you would all stop letting me down because it's really starting to get to me. don't tell me things if you aren't going to follow up with them and don't expect me to keep your secrets if it hurts a mutual friend. friends shouldn't do those kinds of things. boys shouldn't tell me they like me and that they didn't know how i felt because girls are confusing and then proceed to confuse me. i don't really think that's fair. although it somewhat affects me i am still choosing not to care because i don't want to be that kind of girl, that kind of person. they always bug me to no end. going to try to go about my life and not dwell on it too much because as much as i'd like dwelling to be able to change the situation it never does and most likely never will, and so then what is the point? a friend said today that since we are all realizing that we're going to leave soon that kind of makes us feel subconsciously that it's okay to be mean to people and not care and just say fuck everything because we'll be leaving, and that's very true and also something that really shouldn't be true. i wish i could change that but everyone is so set in their ways that this is probably something they're just going to have to realize way later in life when the right time is already up. do you know what i'm getting at? do i?