(no subject)
I've got to write this piece for drama. I mean I'm not going to be scolded if i don't but when I say that it doesn't matter because I've reaally got to. I've got all of these ideas but as the story of my life goes I am never able to put any of them together even though I reallyrealylreally truly want to...i'm beginning to wonder what is wrong with me. no, i'm not beginning to wonder, I've always wondered yet I've never known. I still don't know why i put such energy into boys when I know i'm going to get nothing in return.always thinking they like me for a second including the fact that I'm not the only one that thinks it seems apparent but then they turn around and i'm left looking at my hands wondering what exactly it was that i did or said which made them not like me...did they ever like me? was it all a heartless joke? sometimes I think I am likable but maybe I'm just really not.
i've got to stop putting myself out there. i've got to stop putting myself out of there. i've got to stop putting myself out there. i've got to stop putting myself out there.....no matter how many times i say it to other people and no matter how many times I say it to myself it will NEVER SINK IN
and i'm just waiting for it to sink in and for it to draw the blood and then let me go.why can't i just BE LET GO.
fuckckckckcudfckfuckfuckfuck. anger.
I wish I could cry.
i've got to stop putting myself out there. i've got to stop putting myself out of there. i've got to stop putting myself out there. i've got to stop putting myself out there.....no matter how many times i say it to other people and no matter how many times I say it to myself it will NEVER SINK IN
and i'm just waiting for it to sink in and for it to draw the blood and then let me go.why can't i just BE LET GO.
fuckckckckcudfckfuckfuckfuck. anger.
I wish I could cry.