It's funny cuz it's true!
My uncle fowarded me this chain letter that totally cracked my shit up. Enjoy!
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
>>me your chain letters over the past two years.
>>
>>Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
>>
>>Because of your concern...
>>
>>I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
>>
>>I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
>>products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
>>
>>I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
>>
>>I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
>>pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
>>
>>I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell likea
>>water buffalo on a hot day.
>>
>>I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
>>perfume sample and rob me.
>>
>>I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
>>Al Qaeda in disguise.
>>
>>I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
>>troops.
>>
>>I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
>>stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
>>to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
>>
>>I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain
>>will turn me gay.
>>
>>I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
>>freaks with no eyes or feathers.
>>
>>I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take mykidneys
>>and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
>>
>>Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
>>forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.
>>
>>I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has
>>been dying for the past seven years.
>>
>>I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
>>the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
>>their special e-mail program.
>>
>>I will now return the favor. A big "thank you" to whomever originated
>>this email!!! I love it.
>>
>>If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
>>seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00pm
>>and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest you. I know thiswill
>>occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's
>>neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.
>>
>>Have a nice day!
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
>>me your chain letters over the past two years.
>>
>>Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
>>
>>Because of your concern...
>>
>>I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
>>
>>I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
>>products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
>>
>>I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
>>
>>I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
>>pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
>>
>>I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell likea
>>water buffalo on a hot day.
>>
>>I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
>>perfume sample and rob me.
>>
>>I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
>>Al Qaeda in disguise.
>>
>>I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
>>troops.
>>
>>I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
>>stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
>>to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
>>
>>I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain
>>will turn me gay.
>>
>>I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
>>freaks with no eyes or feathers.
>>
>>I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take mykidneys
>>and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
>>
>>Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
>>forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.
>>
>>I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has
>>been dying for the past seven years.
>>
>>I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
>>the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
>>their special e-mail program.
>>
>>I will now return the favor. A big "thank you" to whomever originated
>>this email!!! I love it.
>>
>>If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
>>seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00pm
>>and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest you. I know thiswill
>>occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's
>>neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.
>>
>>Have a nice day!