[003 ♟ Voice]
What's with everyone's sudden urge to open up? Doesn't make much sense... But I was warned these things would happen.
And-- it's not that I don't want to talk, but sometimes... maybe... I'd be better off isolated. One moment I open up to someone - or they read me like an open book, the next I been shot and lying in a mass grave. I learnt it the hard way. This makes me feel sick. This could never happen here, not literally at least. It was actually hard to realize that I'm dead and, even if I can get back, I will never get to confront him about it. I could have taken my own life. That would have been more fair.
There's the Admiral... Now for something that most of you consider unfair. I have been thinking, and I should probably not say it openly, but maybe he's unresponsive because he wants us to make out own choices. No interferring. You can go ahead and call me a naïve bastard, wouldn't be the first time.
Too many things reminding me of the past now. I've had it, with faceless leaders. With their cryptic guidance. At first I thought I could go by without thinking much about it, about my world-- saying this is still as awkward as calling myself a Warden. I-- I suppose I want to make myself useful, fill my time. Until I can fill my destiny, at least. I try to read and exercise out, but can't always keep your mind off these things.
And why does everyone keep talking about sex? I had almost forgotten about it. Free time and this, it's making me miss it a little. And go sadder, because this in turn, brings to my head that Helen is dead.
[ Private to Jesse ]
I thought about all these things after our conversation, no, actually as we had it. And that made me resent you a little. I am sorry because I suppose that's how you feel as well, with me and other Wardens, and we have it easier, just a little. But still... harder than it seems.
[ Private to Arkady ]
...You don't happen to have some lime tea along with the mint and margaritas, do you?