Was geht....
Hm today was by far the saddest day I've had my whole time here. We took Dani to the train station today..I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without her, I'm going to miss her so much. We've hung out everyday for the past 7 months and now I have to wait until December, when I go to Bolivia, to see her again. Yea of course i still have amazing friends here, but it's not going to be the same without her. I'm going to miss banging heads with her, doing our shopping cart dance, playing MASH 1000 times in a row during class until we get the fortune we wanted, singing at the top of our lungs on the bus, shopping just about everyday w.her, watching room raiders marathons, wir sind die party, being asozial with her to everyone, giving the fick mich und fick dich look, machen uns fertig, laying in my bed and being able to talk to her for hours whether it was about pointless scheiße or our whole life stories, suchen unser churros, having her hold my hair back as I throw up, coming home at the crack of dawn and making nutella bröt while laughing over all the stuff we did that night, ugh just everything. I feel so sad right now. Im just thankful I was able to meet someone like her, I've never known anyone quite like her. But luckily my friends have been really awesome here and wont let me be alone for more than a minute..I know the rest of my time here is going to be good but I just wish Dani was still here to share it with me and give me the advice I always need from her along the way. It's definetly easier to be the one leaving than the person left behind.
I can't believe how much I've grown as a person since I've been here. There's so much I didn't know about myself. I've learned so many valuable things that I'll never forget. I've definetly changed for the better.
I feel so alone right now. It's as though this really hard reality hit me today. Like what's the point in getting close to anyone..it just makes it harder for me later on. Yea sure I'm going to visit Dani this xmas and next spring break..but can I keep doing that for my whole life?, sooner or later Im going to have to get a job and grow up and might not have any more time. Yea a couple of my friends in Germany are coming to visit me once I get home and no matter what Im coming back here to see everyone, but what happens after that? It's hard saying good bye to people after having so much with them and growing so close and at the same time knowing that you may never see them again. The same applies once I get home, I can't wait to see everyone in ap and having the best senior year ever but after that almost everyone leaves and heads off to college..I just don't feel like Im ready for that, but I guess that's just the way it goes. I'm kind of rambeling on right now so I'm going to stop, sorry that I was so pessimistic in this entry, I'm just in a terrible mood and needed to vent.
I have a bunch of pictures from Dani's surprise going away party last saturday that I'll put on her when I get the energy to do it.
Ciao