Anger...
I would like to say this, yes I do get angry very easily. Most would say at the drop of a dime. I can't help it, I hold things in until they finally erupt.
June 7th, my son's birthday. I wanted to get the kids both down to sleep so I can have around 2 hours to do things I wanted. Here was my list of things to do (since it was my off day)
1. Shave head and face
2. Shower
3. Scan pictures for my wife
4. Bake Cake
5. Vacuum apartment
6. Wash dishes
7. Cook
8. Relax
Of those 8 things, I only did 2...do you know which ones they were? It was 4 and 6.
I took the kids to go see mommy at work on her lunch, I get home at about 1:30ish. I fed Sam, and Alyssa was pretty much full so I put Sam down in his crib about 1:45 and I grabbed Alyssa so I can get her down to sleep...did she go down right away? FUCK NO!! It took me until 3:15 p.m. to finally get her to sleep. ONE HOUR AND A HALF!! THAT'S RI GOD DAMN DICULOUS!! Now here I am, face unshaven, head unshaven, not showered, pictures not scanned, apartment not vacuumed, and food I wanted to cook not cooked.
Now today, Thursday, I go back to work and I swear to fucking god that if my daughter takes another hour and a half to go down to sleep, I'm gonna lose it. It takes me at least around 15-30 minutes to shave my face and head (my face has not been touched since last week Sunday and my head, well it's damn near been a month since I've touched that) I hate looking like a fucking bum. I hate the itchy feel of not being shaved. I just fucking hate it. I for one wouldn't be able to keep a beard, I'll go fucking psycho. Now a goatee on the other hand is fine with me, that don't bother me as much.
What I'm trying to say is this, I can't help the fact that I couldn't get to the things I wanted to. So I guess I'm saying that it's my fault, everything is my fault. Blame me for everything. If the sky turns grey, it's my fault it turned grey. If water turned red, it's my fault it turned red. If GOD him/herself decided to destroy the world, it is my fault. Everything is my fault...EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT!!! Just blame me, okay because somehow, someway it was my fault.
So to all of my readers (which is about two), blame me if you have a bad day, somehow it was my fault.