*STOMPS, CRUSHES, ROARS*
Yes! Apparently I'm a monster. The newest bane of the RP world, helping others to destroy it. FEAR ME!!!!
If any of you feel that I, or anyone, can ruin your life, or harm you through some malicious means through a computer, then you have some serious issues with reality. These... are games. I used to take them to heart, let things bother me, let people get under my skin with their text. I just, so don't anymore.
I used to worry about what certain people thought of me. Thought if I could get in their good graces, maybe I'd be seen as someone of worth, gain some kind of popularity, or power. I allowed myself to hold people in disdain, people I didn't even know, based on the views of others. I jumped on people-hating bandwagons, people who I never had any contact with, people who had never done anything to me, directly. Why? Because I wanted to be liked, wanted to fit in, wanted to be recognized. My bad... for seeing these people as some kind of uber gods in the RP world, people I looked up to, people I wanted to be like.
So now, as I abandon these self-serving needs, and stop caring so much about what certain people think, stop caring about the games, stop letting them get to me, is when I'm accused of doing just that. I start seeing the games for what they are... games... a means to pass the time, a means to express myself, and nothing more... and suddenly, I'm self-righteous. I'm blind. I no longer care. I've abandoned my core convictions, my own values, my own beliefs. Or something.
I don't understand how I can be held accountable for things others have done, how it's my fault that some people I talk to, or RP with, have caused pain. Apparently I'm not supposed to talk to anyone, at all, who has ever hurt another. So... watch me go... crawl into a hole, become a hermit. That's what it would take, to avoid people like that. Every single one of us has hurt someone in some way, purposely or not. NONE of us are above it.
To the person this is aimed at... you know who you are... You yourself have 'ruined' the RP world for a select few. Don't think yourself above it. I know you have, because I helped you. Blindly, I helped you... made up hurtful names for people, consorted with you in making their lives hell... and now you have the audacity to hold it against me for talking to others who have done it to you. And you call me a hypocrite. Pot calling the kettle black, that.
To those I hurt by jumping on these bandwagons, my heartfelt apologies. Even a few of you I called friends, I admit, I have said hurtful things about you behind your backs. I was so lost in my new found popularity, and wanted so desperately to hold on to it, that I let others' views and beliefs become my own. Ironic how now that I've stopped doing that, I'm being told I've abandoned my beliefs. Funny! I've abandoned the beliefs of others, and embraced my own!
I never wanted to resort to bashing, I really sought to work out whatever issues had grown, to set the record straight, to have my thoughts heard about what is suddenly thought of me. I was told I changed, overnight... and maybe I did. In fact, yes. I did. A needed change, however. I stopped listening to others, stopped judging people before I knew them, decided to give people a chance, despite what others had to say. As already stated, I started seeing the games as games, and not a sign of my own convictions. People get hurt in the games, true. And I'm sorry for that. But... the people who get hurt are the people who take it to heart.
So, all this said... this will be my last post here, as I am casting aside OOC dealings. You all can think of me what you want, I don't overly care. You have a problem with me? Find some RP reason to come after me ICly, because that's all I'll be doing online from here on out. Back to the beginning, clean slate. Oh how I wish I had held to my original plan... no OOC contact whatsoever, playing the games, being lost in the fantasy of it. I mean, that is the point, isn't it?
If any of you feel that I, or anyone, can ruin your life, or harm you through some malicious means through a computer, then you have some serious issues with reality. These... are games. I used to take them to heart, let things bother me, let people get under my skin with their text. I just, so don't anymore.
I used to worry about what certain people thought of me. Thought if I could get in their good graces, maybe I'd be seen as someone of worth, gain some kind of popularity, or power. I allowed myself to hold people in disdain, people I didn't even know, based on the views of others. I jumped on people-hating bandwagons, people who I never had any contact with, people who had never done anything to me, directly. Why? Because I wanted to be liked, wanted to fit in, wanted to be recognized. My bad... for seeing these people as some kind of uber gods in the RP world, people I looked up to, people I wanted to be like.
So now, as I abandon these self-serving needs, and stop caring so much about what certain people think, stop caring about the games, stop letting them get to me, is when I'm accused of doing just that. I start seeing the games for what they are... games... a means to pass the time, a means to express myself, and nothing more... and suddenly, I'm self-righteous. I'm blind. I no longer care. I've abandoned my core convictions, my own values, my own beliefs. Or something.
I don't understand how I can be held accountable for things others have done, how it's my fault that some people I talk to, or RP with, have caused pain. Apparently I'm not supposed to talk to anyone, at all, who has ever hurt another. So... watch me go... crawl into a hole, become a hermit. That's what it would take, to avoid people like that. Every single one of us has hurt someone in some way, purposely or not. NONE of us are above it.
To the person this is aimed at... you know who you are... You yourself have 'ruined' the RP world for a select few. Don't think yourself above it. I know you have, because I helped you. Blindly, I helped you... made up hurtful names for people, consorted with you in making their lives hell... and now you have the audacity to hold it against me for talking to others who have done it to you. And you call me a hypocrite. Pot calling the kettle black, that.
To those I hurt by jumping on these bandwagons, my heartfelt apologies. Even a few of you I called friends, I admit, I have said hurtful things about you behind your backs. I was so lost in my new found popularity, and wanted so desperately to hold on to it, that I let others' views and beliefs become my own. Ironic how now that I've stopped doing that, I'm being told I've abandoned my beliefs. Funny! I've abandoned the beliefs of others, and embraced my own!
I never wanted to resort to bashing, I really sought to work out whatever issues had grown, to set the record straight, to have my thoughts heard about what is suddenly thought of me. I was told I changed, overnight... and maybe I did. In fact, yes. I did. A needed change, however. I stopped listening to others, stopped judging people before I knew them, decided to give people a chance, despite what others had to say. As already stated, I started seeing the games as games, and not a sign of my own convictions. People get hurt in the games, true. And I'm sorry for that. But... the people who get hurt are the people who take it to heart.
So, all this said... this will be my last post here, as I am casting aside OOC dealings. You all can think of me what you want, I don't overly care. You have a problem with me? Find some RP reason to come after me ICly, because that's all I'll be doing online from here on out. Back to the beginning, clean slate. Oh how I wish I had held to my original plan... no OOC contact whatsoever, playing the games, being lost in the fantasy of it. I mean, that is the point, isn't it?