..........I don't know what to title this?!?
I feel useless at a christian college...I was thinking last night, and thats one of my biggest problems at lcc. During high school, and my last two semesters being in a public school..everyday I felt as if I was stepping out onto the mission field...and everday would begin with prayers about changing lives, and having some sort of impact on the people around me, my drives to school were very spiritual times for me. I had such a hunger to reach someone..anyone...and I thrived off of that. I've been thinking, and praying alot lately for God to just reveal to me what my purpose is in life, where my ministry is... for the longest time I thought I needed to be in a church encouraging teens in their walk with God... but now.. being in a completely Christian environment 5 days a week, has really showed me where my heart is. I really don't think my ministry is in a church, but outside a church, I wanna reach the lost...I wanna meet people where they are, when taking the spiritual gifts test, I always ignored this one gift that always came up... it was evangelism... I always was turned off by it because I stereotyped it...I thought of someone on the street yelling out TURN OR BURN!! and... eh.. Im really not one of those... but.. I think that being in a place with non-christians is very ... nurturing to my walk with God. I NEED that challenge... I need to be put in a place everyday where my actions and my words have the potential to change lives.. Which leads me to my next point.
Im kinda sorta.. okay..99.9% sure Im leaving LCC in December. As much as I thought I would graduate from there..and I wanted to go so bad.. I just really feel led back to where I was before. RCC, while some may say..melissa can't handle a little challenge of going to real college, or melissa needs to give it more time..blah blah blah... its not like that at all. Im soooo happy Im at LCC right now, Im really learning alot about myself. Where my gifts are, and where my gifts arent. The one place I thought I would never want to be... is the place I feel led to be. I wanted out of Decatur and RCC just as much as the next guy, and coming back really isn't something I want to do.. Id rather be at LCC getting my degree in youth ministry, but at the same time God is pushing me in another direction. A completely different one than I ever thought I would take before. This is not something I would do.. this is God's plan..and I really just want to be obedient to His call in my life, and its really amazing how I thought I was following his plan, and then he's like.. I only brought you hear to show you things about where you used to be that you wouldn't have seen otherwise. And Im like... but but.. and he's like.. be still my child, and follow my lead, just sit back and follow me and I will show you exactly where I want you and you will be so much happier this way.
Im really just learning alot about trusting him and knowing that he is always faithful..while it may make no sense to me what Im doing with my life at this point I know that God is in the drivers seat and I just need to relax and let him lead and stop fighting it.
my life lately, is really getting excited.
challenging, but exciting, so many new things are happening and happening at the blink of an eye. God's leading, and Im enjoying the ride.
peace.
Im kinda sorta.. okay..99.9% sure Im leaving LCC in December. As much as I thought I would graduate from there..and I wanted to go so bad.. I just really feel led back to where I was before. RCC, while some may say..melissa can't handle a little challenge of going to real college, or melissa needs to give it more time..blah blah blah... its not like that at all. Im soooo happy Im at LCC right now, Im really learning alot about myself. Where my gifts are, and where my gifts arent. The one place I thought I would never want to be... is the place I feel led to be. I wanted out of Decatur and RCC just as much as the next guy, and coming back really isn't something I want to do.. Id rather be at LCC getting my degree in youth ministry, but at the same time God is pushing me in another direction. A completely different one than I ever thought I would take before. This is not something I would do.. this is God's plan..and I really just want to be obedient to His call in my life, and its really amazing how I thought I was following his plan, and then he's like.. I only brought you hear to show you things about where you used to be that you wouldn't have seen otherwise. And Im like... but but.. and he's like.. be still my child, and follow my lead, just sit back and follow me and I will show you exactly where I want you and you will be so much happier this way.
Im really just learning alot about trusting him and knowing that he is always faithful..while it may make no sense to me what Im doing with my life at this point I know that God is in the drivers seat and I just need to relax and let him lead and stop fighting it.
my life lately, is really getting excited.
challenging, but exciting, so many new things are happening and happening at the blink of an eye. God's leading, and Im enjoying the ride.
peace.