A long December.. and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last..
well well well.. 2004 has officially come to a close.. there's something nice about starting a new year.. scary because you don't know what mishaps and negative things it will bring.. but good because if the year before sucked.. theres hope that a new one will be better.. and that's what i'm hoping..
2004 was a year of learning for me.. i feel as if i took a year off of my life and just had a learning experience.. it was very uneventful, but i think that i matured and grew a whole lot over the course of it.. i made a few mistakes.. i let things go too easily.. as a result of being afraid.. but my biggest regret of 2004 was wasting my time on someone who did NOT deserve it.. he messed with my head soo much but through this pain, i learned.. i learned not to give my heart away too easily.. i learned that love isn't always sunshines and rainbows.. i learned that healing is not easy, but it can be done.. but most of all i learned that i am stronger than i ever thought i was..
this year taught me independence.. i found that its ok to be alone sometimes..
i learned how to avoid an emotional attachment.. which i am still working on because i sort of forgot how to HAVE an emotional attachment in the process..
i saw the value of family.. and that they aren't just people to be pains in the asses.. they are the ones who love me and will be there for me til the end, so they really should be treated with respect as much as they piss me off...
i learned that some people are just not WORTH my time and effort, and a second chance can be made, but after that it's just not worth it..
i've learned how to shrug things off, and not get mad at every little thing.. and the mad walk has hardly even been put to use lately..
I also had to deal with the death of my grandmother this year.. which was sad because she was my last living grandparent.. but i really did well with that, considering it was a death situation.. I think that event showed the maturity i gained because of how i took it..
But all in all, the independence was a big part of my year.. i found it in most aspects of my life.. and i plan on carrying that with me through next year.. i think i matured a great deal this year.. and i'm proud of myself for that..
I have high hopes for this year.. I want to take the knowledge i gained last year and apply it.. I just hope this year is a little more eventful..I decided that in 2005 i am ready to love again.. i'm not saying that it's going to happen.. i'm not gonna go searching for it.. and it's not going to be just anyone.. i'm just saying that i CAN do it now.. i have the capacity.. if someone comes along. great, but if not.. oh well..
I also am going to try very hard to keep in shape.. excercise a lot and hopefully lose some weight.. and i'm doing this for ME not for any guy..not to make my mom stop bitching.. i'm doing it to make myself feel better.. and thats that.
but basically.. this year i'm going to do things for me because im sick of doing what people want me to do.. it's my life.. i'm gonna live it and no one else.
On that note.. i just want to thank all the people who have been there for me this year..
my AHA girls.. you girls mean the world to me.. i love each and every one of you and i'm SO glad college has not made us drift.. in fact i think it has brought us closer.. we've seen eachother through so much.. which just proves that we can get through anything together.. thank you all for being there for me.. though i may not call or im everyone all the time when i'm at school, that doesn't mean i'm not thinking about you because i usually am.. friends forever! hehe..
MU crew.. though i hate our school itself, you guys make the 30 grand worth it.. i don't know what i would do without you guys supporting me every day and being there 24/7 whether its a shoulder to cry on.. a lunch buddy.. or a walk down the hall to say hi.. you guys make college the experience it should be! <3 thanks for everything!
My other friends: there are so many categories.. but there are more who fall into here.. such as laura, eric, jess, mike, matt, cheryl,nicole, the bc boys..theres more im not forgetting u, im just listing people off the top of my head.. thanks for the fun times, the laughter.. listening to me bitch.. telling stories.. i have the best friends in the entire world and i love each and every one of you.. thank you for everything!!!! <3
New year's eve was a blast btw.. caroline, liz, cait, and i stayed over nick's house with the bergen boys.. wasted no time, and got completely trashed as soon as we got there.. had good times.. laughed about stupid stuff, passed out around 6 AM (when apparently cable tv shows bergen/bosco football, who knew?).. woke up and had more fun times for hours.. and then we all went home.. and i loved every minute of it that i could remember.. i'm so glad i have such great friends to share such occasions with! "it tastes like breakfast!".. "i feel like i had a one night stand with cait!" haha.. nick's house is GORGEOUS.. and his mom is the cutest person ever! i love her.. i told him we were getting married so i could have his mom as an in law haha.. he was like uhhh rite..
the only downside was that i had to tell my parents i was there so she didnt find out from bryan or liz's moms.. they got pissed because apparently it's "unproper" to stay over a guy's house.. even though it was a bunch of us, we were sleeping nowhere near eachother and his mom was home.. but its ok for me to live right next door to boys at school.. which i don't understand.. parent's logic is strange..
but anyways.. i hope everyone had a safe, fun nite last nite.. and HAPPY 2005!!!! :)
2004 was a year of learning for me.. i feel as if i took a year off of my life and just had a learning experience.. it was very uneventful, but i think that i matured and grew a whole lot over the course of it.. i made a few mistakes.. i let things go too easily.. as a result of being afraid.. but my biggest regret of 2004 was wasting my time on someone who did NOT deserve it.. he messed with my head soo much but through this pain, i learned.. i learned not to give my heart away too easily.. i learned that love isn't always sunshines and rainbows.. i learned that healing is not easy, but it can be done.. but most of all i learned that i am stronger than i ever thought i was..
this year taught me independence.. i found that its ok to be alone sometimes..
i learned how to avoid an emotional attachment.. which i am still working on because i sort of forgot how to HAVE an emotional attachment in the process..
i saw the value of family.. and that they aren't just people to be pains in the asses.. they are the ones who love me and will be there for me til the end, so they really should be treated with respect as much as they piss me off...
i learned that some people are just not WORTH my time and effort, and a second chance can be made, but after that it's just not worth it..
i've learned how to shrug things off, and not get mad at every little thing.. and the mad walk has hardly even been put to use lately..
I also had to deal with the death of my grandmother this year.. which was sad because she was my last living grandparent.. but i really did well with that, considering it was a death situation.. I think that event showed the maturity i gained because of how i took it..
But all in all, the independence was a big part of my year.. i found it in most aspects of my life.. and i plan on carrying that with me through next year.. i think i matured a great deal this year.. and i'm proud of myself for that..
I have high hopes for this year.. I want to take the knowledge i gained last year and apply it.. I just hope this year is a little more eventful..I decided that in 2005 i am ready to love again.. i'm not saying that it's going to happen.. i'm not gonna go searching for it.. and it's not going to be just anyone.. i'm just saying that i CAN do it now.. i have the capacity.. if someone comes along. great, but if not.. oh well..
I also am going to try very hard to keep in shape.. excercise a lot and hopefully lose some weight.. and i'm doing this for ME not for any guy..not to make my mom stop bitching.. i'm doing it to make myself feel better.. and thats that.
but basically.. this year i'm going to do things for me because im sick of doing what people want me to do.. it's my life.. i'm gonna live it and no one else.
On that note.. i just want to thank all the people who have been there for me this year..
my AHA girls.. you girls mean the world to me.. i love each and every one of you and i'm SO glad college has not made us drift.. in fact i think it has brought us closer.. we've seen eachother through so much.. which just proves that we can get through anything together.. thank you all for being there for me.. though i may not call or im everyone all the time when i'm at school, that doesn't mean i'm not thinking about you because i usually am.. friends forever! hehe..
MU crew.. though i hate our school itself, you guys make the 30 grand worth it.. i don't know what i would do without you guys supporting me every day and being there 24/7 whether its a shoulder to cry on.. a lunch buddy.. or a walk down the hall to say hi.. you guys make college the experience it should be! <3 thanks for everything!
My other friends: there are so many categories.. but there are more who fall into here.. such as laura, eric, jess, mike, matt, cheryl,nicole, the bc boys..theres more im not forgetting u, im just listing people off the top of my head.. thanks for the fun times, the laughter.. listening to me bitch.. telling stories.. i have the best friends in the entire world and i love each and every one of you.. thank you for everything!!!! <3
New year's eve was a blast btw.. caroline, liz, cait, and i stayed over nick's house with the bergen boys.. wasted no time, and got completely trashed as soon as we got there.. had good times.. laughed about stupid stuff, passed out around 6 AM (when apparently cable tv shows bergen/bosco football, who knew?).. woke up and had more fun times for hours.. and then we all went home.. and i loved every minute of it that i could remember.. i'm so glad i have such great friends to share such occasions with! "it tastes like breakfast!".. "i feel like i had a one night stand with cait!" haha.. nick's house is GORGEOUS.. and his mom is the cutest person ever! i love her.. i told him we were getting married so i could have his mom as an in law haha.. he was like uhhh rite..
the only downside was that i had to tell my parents i was there so she didnt find out from bryan or liz's moms.. they got pissed because apparently it's "unproper" to stay over a guy's house.. even though it was a bunch of us, we were sleeping nowhere near eachother and his mom was home.. but its ok for me to live right next door to boys at school.. which i don't understand.. parent's logic is strange..
but anyways.. i hope everyone had a safe, fun nite last nite.. and HAPPY 2005!!!! :)