goodbye jamie...
well i did it, broke up with jamie. and actually i feel really good. i needed to do it and actually i dont regret anything except maybe waiting so long. but for the first time she was honest with me- i told her i couldnt do it anymore. i told her the things i knew and at first she denied them but then broke down and told me she was in love with chris. i just wish she could of told me that months ago ya know? but i tried my best to understand. i know i love her, despite everything-what she did, what she didnt do and i will probably never lose that feeling for her. but i got to think about me and what i need from another person and she couldnt give that to me and i know for sure now it was because her heart was elsewhere and not really ever with me.
and i dont hate her for all of this. and i told her i want to stay friends, because i do care about her and what happens to her and ever after this i just want to see her happy and i hope chris can give that to her bc obviously i couldnt. and if hes good to her im fine with that and i can deal and ill make it...
ive met someone. heather. shes 26 and has helped me a lot with jamie and i think will help me get through this. shes a really cool person and we have been hanging out a lot and im really attracted to her on a lot of levels but we really dont want to jump into a relationship, which is fine, i think my heart needs to recover a little. and heather understands that i think and shes kind of in the same situation.
shes so cute, she reminds me a lot of jeanene garofalo for some reason hehe shes like 5'1'' with black and purple hair...such a cutie pie...but anyway ill talk to you later journal....my bed awaits....
and i dont hate her for all of this. and i told her i want to stay friends, because i do care about her and what happens to her and ever after this i just want to see her happy and i hope chris can give that to her bc obviously i couldnt. and if hes good to her im fine with that and i can deal and ill make it...
ive met someone. heather. shes 26 and has helped me a lot with jamie and i think will help me get through this. shes a really cool person and we have been hanging out a lot and im really attracted to her on a lot of levels but we really dont want to jump into a relationship, which is fine, i think my heart needs to recover a little. and heather understands that i think and shes kind of in the same situation.
shes so cute, she reminds me a lot of jeanene garofalo for some reason hehe shes like 5'1'' with black and purple hair...such a cutie pie...but anyway ill talk to you later journal....my bed awaits....