Today's Mantra: Make Shit Up.
I was stranded on a planet
Just me and Spock
We met a nasty nazi alien who locked our asses up
We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head
Bust a move
I was standing on a bridge when Sulu came to me
His eyes were full of tears he said "Captain can't you see
The ship is gonna blow do something I beseech"
I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach
I said
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things live
We're makin' shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Although hes just a child and some think he's a twit
Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit
He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space
If only he could beam those pimples off his face
And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise
And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
Hold on to Jeordi's visor and sing into Data's knees
I said
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things live
We're makin' shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place
He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
The wormhole opened up and now they come from near and far
We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-Hadar
What is with the Klingons, remember in the day
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame
Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the Dead
With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things live
We're makin' shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
When suddently it dawned on me I've seen this show before
Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble and slightly out of phase
'Cause it was way back in the Sixties when they called it Lost in Space
We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
Normally you'd think that would get us into shit
But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things live
We're makin' shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we're totally screwed but nevermind
We'll pull something out of our behind
We'll just make some shit up
The above was blatantly stolen from some guy's shitty transcription on the net. The song is fantastic, but I find it more readable if there aren't misspellings, nonsense words, and a stunning lack of capital letters in every god damned paragraph. If you want to buy "Banned on Vulcan" you can go hereabouts and get it for $7. If you're looking for an album that is consistently good, though, you should pick up Boo Hoo or The Devil's Bris.
Not that I expect any of you to do so, though. I mean, let's face it. The people that do read my journal are (as a general rule) not the sort of people who would pick up an album by Voltaire anyways, and would still be studiously avoiding it if I hadn't made at least half of them listen to this shit, subsequently and either piss themselves laughing or cry when they realized what they'd been missing. Give it a chance, you fuckers.
Just me and Spock
We met a nasty nazi alien who locked our asses up
We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head
Bust a move
I was standing on a bridge when Sulu came to me
His eyes were full of tears he said "Captain can't you see
The ship is gonna blow do something I beseech"
I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach
I said
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things live
We're makin' shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Although hes just a child and some think he's a twit
Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit
He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space
If only he could beam those pimples off his face
And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise
And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
Hold on to Jeordi's visor and sing into Data's knees
I said
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things live
We're makin' shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place
He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
The wormhole opened up and now they come from near and far
We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-Hadar
What is with the Klingons, remember in the day
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame
Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the Dead
With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things live
We're makin' shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
When suddently it dawned on me I've seen this show before
Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble and slightly out of phase
'Cause it was way back in the Sixties when they called it Lost in Space
We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
Normally you'd think that would get us into shit
But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits
And I say
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
Thats the way we do things live
We're makin' shit up as we wish
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we're totally screwed but nevermind
We'll pull something out of our behind
We'll just make some shit up
The above was blatantly stolen from some guy's shitty transcription on the net. The song is fantastic, but I find it more readable if there aren't misspellings, nonsense words, and a stunning lack of capital letters in every god damned paragraph. If you want to buy "Banned on Vulcan" you can go hereabouts and get it for $7. If you're looking for an album that is consistently good, though, you should pick up Boo Hoo or The Devil's Bris.
Not that I expect any of you to do so, though. I mean, let's face it. The people that do read my journal are (as a general rule) not the sort of people who would pick up an album by Voltaire anyways, and would still be studiously avoiding it if I hadn't made at least half of them listen to this shit, subsequently and either piss themselves laughing or cry when they realized what they'd been missing. Give it a chance, you fuckers.