(no subject)
Finally the hot guy in the harrisburg office comes to philly and they send me to a different department. just my luck. so hot. I want him.
I've been so numb towards negative things I've had to deal with recently. Positive things, too. I think it's a good feeling, but I'm pretty numb so I can't tell. The only things I'm passionate about are things that happen in the rest of the world, not to me. I think it's better this way. I can't be disappointed and I'm preparing myself. Maybe I'm not experiencing life the way movies think I should, but I can't see how it really matters anyway as long as I'm functioning and have interests still. But I haven't cried in a very long time. So I think it's a good thing. And I still laugh and have fun but without the caring part. it's pretty good. It's shallow I guess, but who ever had the right to say that's a bad thing?
I hate the R1. too many fucking suitcases. now THAT is one thing about which i am passionate. That and world affairs. but not me. it's awesome. especially because I don't think I like me but I'm pretty numb towards myself so it doesn't matter. It's weird because for a while I was painfully lonely, but now I'm just emotionless. maybe it's because I really don't need anything now that becky and nadine are home. or maybe my observations of strangers, who never let me down, have taught me to be numb towards people and myself and important things.
I've been so numb towards negative things I've had to deal with recently. Positive things, too. I think it's a good feeling, but I'm pretty numb so I can't tell. The only things I'm passionate about are things that happen in the rest of the world, not to me. I think it's better this way. I can't be disappointed and I'm preparing myself. Maybe I'm not experiencing life the way movies think I should, but I can't see how it really matters anyway as long as I'm functioning and have interests still. But I haven't cried in a very long time. So I think it's a good thing. And I still laugh and have fun but without the caring part. it's pretty good. It's shallow I guess, but who ever had the right to say that's a bad thing?
I hate the R1. too many fucking suitcases. now THAT is one thing about which i am passionate. That and world affairs. but not me. it's awesome. especially because I don't think I like me but I'm pretty numb towards myself so it doesn't matter. It's weird because for a while I was painfully lonely, but now I'm just emotionless. maybe it's because I really don't need anything now that becky and nadine are home. or maybe my observations of strangers, who never let me down, have taught me to be numb towards people and myself and important things.