What could suck enough to finally drive me to post...:-)

[justacat]

I cannot believe how long it's been since I've posted - I barely even remember how to do it. I have so many things I haven't written about - I'm still apologizing to my local crew for not telling them about my broken rib, which happened more than a month ago now! - and there's horse stuff: how Doha's adjusting, Bodie updates, and new fun stuff I'

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[justacat]

The fact that winter is approaching makes this whole situation suck even more. For example, it's possible Carolyn could find a small farm just big enough for us and some of her other students (which is what, ideally, we would all want), but without an indoor arena, or without an adequate number of stalls, and then we could all finance building the arena, or another barn. But of course, with winter approaching we couldn't do that because we need an indoor arena and stalls right now, and there'd be absolutely no way to get stuff built within 30 days, especially not with the weather being iffy already.

And yes, you're exactly right - crap talk like that is just a way for people like her to avoid facing issues. She wants everything to be nice and neat; doesn't want to deal with the anger her own actions might arouse; doesn't want to be made to feel bad for her behavior that should make her feel that way. It's all, as I said, just passive-aggressive (like someone else we know, actually! *g*) - "but I was just trying to keep the conversation civil - why are you getting angry?" - when she's the one that incited the anger. It's funny - part of the whole purpose of using horses in social work/psychotherapy is to help kids get in touch with their own feelings - including anger! - but apparently it's not acceptable for people to feel anger when it's directed at her!

God I'd love for you to throw sand in her face. It'd make me feel better even if it wouldn't do much good. And thanks for the offer to rant - as I wrote, for some reason when I'm tense and anxious it's really hard for me to find the mental energy/focus to write, whether it's posts or emails. It's not so much that I'm cutting myself off as it is that...I keep telling myself, as soon as this all gets worked out I'll write about it; I'm too distracted to sit down and write now. But I've finally accepted that's not happening anytime soon. It's like I said in the title to this post - how much do things have to suck before I finally give up and post?! *g* *g* I'd love to talk with you, though - why do you live on the west coast??

(On a brighter note, I am, as I also said in the post, resolved to make an official announcement about CQ before the end of the month...)