Et in Italia reprise, from Pros-land
I am in the Land of Pros - London, of course. I've been offline for the past few days, because I was in Milton Keynes at Nattercon - a NBP (nothin' but Pros *g*) weekend, and it was beyond wonderful (more about the con next post, but right now I'm fighting post-con blues and want to write about something else). I've been here since Thursday
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I probably can't address much of what you say since I've forgotten a lot of the story and I'd need to reread it, but as you know, I like the depresso stuff sometimes, and rarely write traditional happy endings. For me, that's often too easy and I don't feel as challenged by it. ANd I also tend to think realism is in the eye of the beholder -- our shows are rarely realistic, either, unless you're a The Wire fan or something. But.
I think the not getting together but not for a good reason aspect it a bit different -- if you really see it as not having a legitimate foundation for their ending of the relationship, then everything else will ultimately be a failure. So, if she'd given you a stronger, truer reason, would the apart ending have worked for you as much -- say, Bodie just can't deal with working with his lover, or they face terrible censure, or... something that you feel makes it more realistic?
I've written volumes on why I like death or dark stories, so I won't rehash my points again because... too much work, but I think the defensiveness of happy ending people is a little overworked. There are far, far more people who want happy endings than who want something darker or more intensely melancholy, believe me. Those of us who are satisfied with being miserable are in a minority. The worst conversation I ever had was with someone who insisted to me that things cannot be escapist if they involve any kind of unhappiness. I just don't get that -- yes, it's just as hard to make a good dramatic story filled with sunshine and light as it is to make a good dramatic story filled with gloom and doom. But what tends to stick with people in fiction of any kind is conflict -- we are prone to want to fix the conflict in our hearts and minds. People are just wired differently -- whereas you hit a brick wall with an ending like that, if given a good enough foundation, I go right over the bricks and start imaging all kinds of fixes to the conflict of the ending that happen after the "The End" appears. I enjoy that a lot, but I realize others are not wired the same way as I am in that respect.
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Oh, that's exactly what I meant - I'm just not wired the way you are, can't do what you do, can't find any way over that wall, which is part of the reason why my tolerance for the dark stuff is so low. I never read a story or see an ep or something and think about how I could fix it, or where I could take it - it's like my mind just stops at the end.
I understand theoretically how dark stuff could be an escape, or a catharsis, for people, and I hope I didn't imply in my post that I feel anything like the person you had that conversation with, or that I think happy-ending fic is better, literarily or otherwise, than dark-ending fic. I don't think that at all, and in fact, as I said in the post, I feel like a bit of a wimp for being so unable to handle dark endings, for succumbing to despair so easily. Escapism for me requires the happy ending; I have no problem with the fact that there are others out there who find their escape, their pleasure or satisfaction, in darker or more ambiguous stories - and I have no problem with the fact that people feel the desire to write them, though I tend to get disgusted when a dark ending feels "affected" to me, simply the result of the author's desire to be seen as a "real" author.
What I love about fandom is that there is something for everyone, no matter how you're wired (and you're definitely right that far more people want happy endings). Usually I leave it at that - to each her own, and it's easy for me simply not to read the darker stuff, or to read it in a different mindset, knowing it won't be an escape, and that's okay. I think what made it harder in the case of particular story was that I so wanted the ending to work out differently - it was such a gorgeous love story, the relationship between them was set up as so perfect in many ways, so ideal for them, that the lack of happy ending hit me really hard.
And of course, the other part of my problem with the story is my inability to see a real foundation for the ending. To answer your question, if there had been a stronger, truer reason, the ending still ultimately wouldn't have worked for me, at least not as fanfic, as escape - but it would have been easier for me to bear. I'd have been sad, despondent, but I wouldn't have felt sort of ... cheated, or angry, or frustrated with it. It'd have been a different type of feeling. But in the end, I seem to be wired to need that happy ending, and without it stories generally don't "work" for me - as fanfic/escape, I mean. It's simply too hard, too agonizing, to have to fight off the feelings of despondency that are aroused in my by those type of endings.
Now off to eat, if not at the Fall Girl pub (where is that? I need to see it ... maybe next trip), then at least somewhere with fellow fans, which should definitely help cheer me up :-)
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Get off at the High St. Kensington tube station (at least, I think this is the safest bet) and go to your left along Kensington High St. past Earls Court. YOu'll find a tiny little street on your left called Edwardes Sq, running along one of those private gated park type thingies. It's a little bit down the street, on the left. I hope it's still there. It's a lovely pub. I had a pleasant afternoon whiling away some time there after a really bad experience with a friend, it made up for all the nastiness.
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(Nice icon, too *g*)
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