seven, nine and twenty
it's been a long while since my last post. a lot has happened since then. too much has happened since then. you never expect life to throw so much at you all at once, or to take so much from you all at once. august has left me feeling surreally. i can't even imagine what it's going to feel like at thanksgiving and Christmas. so much will be missing. so much is missing already, it just hasn't all sunk in yet. how quiet my granny's house must be without pa's whistling and how darkened it must be without todd's smile. i wish i could be there with her right now. i miss her more right now than i did three years ago when i first left for college. and as much as i need her now, she needs me so much more. but life brings me here and by being here i can't be there. although, i can be, and i am, thankful for all of the loved ones who are there for her, and for all of those who are here for me. that's all i feel like saying right now.