(no subject)
I just took a delivery to Christian Brothers University.
It reminded me a bit of high school. It was some girls dorm room, and outside in I guess the courtyard, there were a bunch of college kids dressed in their abercrombie probably drinking and just hanging out. I felt really awkward, like I was in middle school around high schoolers, and I tried to walk cooler so no one would make fun of me...not that I thought people would make fun of me, I don't know what it was or why I felt so shitty. And then all of a sudden, bam, I felt below everyone down there.
If you had talked to me my freshman year and asked me "what do you want to do when you graduate?" It wouldn't be this.
I could be one of those kids standing around the courtyard with a beer in hand and my abercrombie shirt on. And I could be happy like that, I'm sure I could. But I chose a different road, and I don't know why. A lot of times I think that I'd be happier being the cool kid at a private college. Maybe I would be. I don't know.
It was like seeing a completely different world from mine. I guess I just assume everyone does the same things as me because all of my friends do. We're all the kids from Rent minus the aids...and I'm hanging a hard time deciding what would be better.
Bucci and I talked about this last night, the alter egos. How we could go one way or the other, be the artsy kid blah blah, or the rich executive.
All I know is I feel like the biggest loser in the world right now, and I want to not.
It reminded me a bit of high school. It was some girls dorm room, and outside in I guess the courtyard, there were a bunch of college kids dressed in their abercrombie probably drinking and just hanging out. I felt really awkward, like I was in middle school around high schoolers, and I tried to walk cooler so no one would make fun of me...not that I thought people would make fun of me, I don't know what it was or why I felt so shitty. And then all of a sudden, bam, I felt below everyone down there.
If you had talked to me my freshman year and asked me "what do you want to do when you graduate?" It wouldn't be this.
I could be one of those kids standing around the courtyard with a beer in hand and my abercrombie shirt on. And I could be happy like that, I'm sure I could. But I chose a different road, and I don't know why. A lot of times I think that I'd be happier being the cool kid at a private college. Maybe I would be. I don't know.
It was like seeing a completely different world from mine. I guess I just assume everyone does the same things as me because all of my friends do. We're all the kids from Rent minus the aids...and I'm hanging a hard time deciding what would be better.
Bucci and I talked about this last night, the alter egos. How we could go one way or the other, be the artsy kid blah blah, or the rich executive.
All I know is I feel like the biggest loser in the world right now, and I want to not.