(no subject)
Sometimes I forget the type of person I usually am. Or see myself as I suppose...
I try to avoid getting mad at people because for the most part it's never ever worth it. I try to avoid getting mad when I'm not invited to things because I know in that situation I don't think to call so and so and blah blah. But, I still do. And lately I've been a lot more testy and angry then I normally am. I think my emotions are just heightened to the nth degree, and I don't know how to deal with it.
It's okay though. Things will be okay. I will be okay. I'm always okay.
It's just hard right now. Because I just want everything to be okay and I want everyone to be happy and I want to be happy. And I don't want to miss out on things, but I don't really miss out on anything either. I don't let it happen.
I want to have some down time but right now everything is just a big spiral and I can't tell if I'm going up or if I'm going down or what the heck is going on.
Life is so strange. I keep thinking about all the different stages that I've been through, my parents have been through, everyone. It seems like nothing should ever change or should have changed. I should still be living in Virginia Hills with my brothers and sisters. Or I should be in Kalamazoo Michigan walking to school everyday because my school is so close and my friends and I walk together, or climb trees together, or build forts out of nothingness. It just doesn't seem like life is supposed to change this much ever.
Who thought that little daniel gomez with the straight a's, crooked bangs, and chubby cheeks would become me now.
People talk a lot about innocense and losing it, and how kids are great because they still have it etc. I don't think anyone ever really loses it. I think it just goes somewhere for a little while. I think right now I'm trying to hide it...I sound so emo right now.
From here on though I have to stop getting mad at things like internet comments or party's I'm not invited to, or whatever. Because really, it doesn't matter. What does matter? ha. I don't know. It'll change by tomorrow anyway.
"And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
I try to avoid getting mad at people because for the most part it's never ever worth it. I try to avoid getting mad when I'm not invited to things because I know in that situation I don't think to call so and so and blah blah. But, I still do. And lately I've been a lot more testy and angry then I normally am. I think my emotions are just heightened to the nth degree, and I don't know how to deal with it.
It's okay though. Things will be okay. I will be okay. I'm always okay.
It's just hard right now. Because I just want everything to be okay and I want everyone to be happy and I want to be happy. And I don't want to miss out on things, but I don't really miss out on anything either. I don't let it happen.
I want to have some down time but right now everything is just a big spiral and I can't tell if I'm going up or if I'm going down or what the heck is going on.
Life is so strange. I keep thinking about all the different stages that I've been through, my parents have been through, everyone. It seems like nothing should ever change or should have changed. I should still be living in Virginia Hills with my brothers and sisters. Or I should be in Kalamazoo Michigan walking to school everyday because my school is so close and my friends and I walk together, or climb trees together, or build forts out of nothingness. It just doesn't seem like life is supposed to change this much ever.
Who thought that little daniel gomez with the straight a's, crooked bangs, and chubby cheeks would become me now.
People talk a lot about innocense and losing it, and how kids are great because they still have it etc. I don't think anyone ever really loses it. I think it just goes somewhere for a little while. I think right now I'm trying to hide it...I sound so emo right now.
From here on though I have to stop getting mad at things like internet comments or party's I'm not invited to, or whatever. Because really, it doesn't matter. What does matter? ha. I don't know. It'll change by tomorrow anyway.
"And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."