(no subject)
The day keeps coming closer and closer.
I moved a bunch of my shit out of the Philly House today...after this weekend it really is goodbye to the house...
I want a going away party. The biggest going away party ever thrown. I will not throw myself a party.
All that I really want though...above words of wisdom, or what people think will make me feel better, is for someone to give me a giant hug, and tlel me they love me, and the they will miss me, but they know I can do this. That's all I want. The cheap cheesy words. Just a hug...
I've been testy with a lot of people lately. Testy is a word that does not make sense. I've been short and angry like with a lot of people latley. And I'm sorry for it, but I'm just scared, and I avoid talking about things with people, and I avoid emotion. But I like being asked "are you okay" and replying "yeah I'm fine" and patrick saying "your a bad lier" and then me spilling my guts an hour later.
I don't ever want to talk to anyone about this because I'll just pretend I was in "a mood" and I'm fine now. But really, I want it to be known. People don't read me well...
I'm dieing inside.
I want to die on the outside.
I'm ready to be a druggy again.
Once an adict always an adict right?
But not really.
I moved a bunch of my shit out of the Philly House today...after this weekend it really is goodbye to the house...
I want a going away party. The biggest going away party ever thrown. I will not throw myself a party.
All that I really want though...above words of wisdom, or what people think will make me feel better, is for someone to give me a giant hug, and tlel me they love me, and the they will miss me, but they know I can do this. That's all I want. The cheap cheesy words. Just a hug...
I've been testy with a lot of people lately. Testy is a word that does not make sense. I've been short and angry like with a lot of people latley. And I'm sorry for it, but I'm just scared, and I avoid talking about things with people, and I avoid emotion. But I like being asked "are you okay" and replying "yeah I'm fine" and patrick saying "your a bad lier" and then me spilling my guts an hour later.
I don't ever want to talk to anyone about this because I'll just pretend I was in "a mood" and I'm fine now. But really, I want it to be known. People don't read me well...
I'm dieing inside.
I want to die on the outside.
I'm ready to be a druggy again.
Once an adict always an adict right?
But not really.