Greed for your love
At 8pm tonight it was only just starting to get dark. This would be the only thing I like about Summer.
I want a kiss. I want it to be beautiful and I don't want it to be drunken and meaningless and sloppy. I want a genuine kiss. I want it to be because he wants to and I want it to follow a 'moment' and some deep and meaningful conversations about life and love and plenty of laughter. He has to cradle my face in his hands ((just like You used to)) and it has to be soft and hesitant but only at first. In all theory I would feel light headed afterwards but that would be too much like that first time You kissed me...This kiss has to be completely different but just as beautiful and unique. It has to be with someone who doesn't expect anything more than the kiss itself and he has to understand why it is that I want to kiss him - above anything else, I am, indeed, on the rebound. He has to understand that I don't want rebound sex, I purely want a reminder that beautiful things can still happen to and around me. He doesn't have to be someone close to me, he doesn't have to be a friend. It can be an unspoken understanding, expressed only within that one kiss and magically he just knows. Neither of us will come out of the kiss emotionally attatched to the other and we can easily walk away or even keep talking if we want to. Perhaps more kisses will follow. Each time we become more and more comfortable with each other and when the night is over and the last kiss has been kissed, nothing remains. No feelings on his part or mine. I'm allowed to feel giddy like the little girl I truly am inside and he is allowed to be angry that he didn't get any action out of it. I am allowed to dream about it every night and he is allowed to lie to his mates about how he scored. I am allowed to taste him on my lips for as long as I want to, as long as it overrides the lingering taste of You ((more often or not it was Spearmint Extra; a fresh piece, and sometimes a Slurpee from 711 up the road. Sometimes a mixture of the two)). Instead of this taste lingering and slowly, painfully fading away, I am allowed to want to replace it just for a night. The night itself will be meaningless but the kiss will be beautiful.
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I'm sorry