I'd have that man's babies.

[justababyduck]

Today I was supposed to go to Boston with the intrepid Emster, but I was forced to beg off due to "women's troubles". So picture, if you will, me cuddled up on the couch watching Alien: Resurrection. I'm counting all the ways the movie is Serenity with big aliens and a really bad director. My calico is doing her damnedest to stick her entire ass in my face. Then suddenly, the phone rings. It is my friend Jesse, calling to tell me that Jon Stewart is going to be speaking at UConn in October and that tickets are on sale now.

Jon Mother Fucking Stewart.

Now it must be said. I watch The Daily Show religiously. I love Jon Stewart. I'd marry Jon Stewart. I know Jon Stewart already has a wife. I'm fine with that. Jon Stewart transcends all traditional forms of marriage. I support poly-amory and so I support polygamy as well. And Jon Stewart is worth it. In my eyes, Jon Stewart is a rock star. When the woman asked how close I wanted to be to the stage I said, "Close enough to fling my panties at him." Thus, I'm in the Second row on the side. Way off to the side, but who cares! I'm going to be in the room with Jon Mother Fucking Stewart!

I haven't felt like this since I got those third row tickets to the Dixie Chicks concert. This is going to rock so hard. I'm excited.

Jon Mother Fucking Stewart.