(no subject)
i know this has been posted alot, but here is a new slant.
here is a rant from my friend Hannah, the same one lizzie and emma know.
every time you masturbate god kills a kitten....
And then it occured to me I was at a site recently that claims that "every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten." Which made me think. Cat's we know, produce quite a bit. Humans masturbate even more. So, if god kills a kitten every time somebody masturbates, cats must give birth alot more than we give them credit for. Then it came to me, we could revolutionize animal control. Instead of using uthanasia, we can just encorage concerned citizens to pleasure themselves, and others, as much as possible. Not only would this help with the kitten population, but people would be more relaxed, and have a much healthier veiw
on sex, and other sexually related activities- like killing kittens.
The site also suggests that if you really have to masturbate, eat instead
(but stay away from things like mayo). Now, statistics say that about 60% of our population is obese, due mainly to a bad diet, over-eating, and lack of activity. Following this thought, lots of people must be trying to
curtail their masturbation.
Now, put the two together, and we could solve several problems in our
nation just by masturbating. The first is kittens. Maybe, if we masturbated often enough, we'd get them before they were born, or even concieved - soon it would be "every time you masturbate, god sterilizes a tom cat" Of course, there would have to be something arranged for those of us who want cats.. Perahps cloning.. Anyhow. Back to masturbation. By not repressing these urges, American's would not eat as much, would stay away from mayo, and have physical activity. Thus dealing with obesity. Therefor, if we, as a nation, promote the practice of pleasure, we can create a wonderful place, where people are healthy, happy, and the cat population is not too high.
i love everyone. seriously.