...but you cant fool the people all the time
conclusion: i have to suck it up at some point.. but i missed this chance.
well its over. im probably the biggest idiot, but someday i'll get over that. right now i guess i feel like shit about a lot of things. every things going downhill again. this year was the hardest year of my life so far. freshman year sucked. i learned a lot about myself and how much i can suck. the things i do are really dumb. i met new people though. i learned a lot about my friends. i learned about life too. this summer is gonna be a crazy one. i can tell already. after wednesday night i felt like i grew up more. yeah that sounds lame.
just about every night since then though has killed me in some way or another. yeah they've been hard to deal with, and trust me things can only get worse. im glad im so pessimistic about everything. christ.
had another fire last night with ashley. we burnt all my binders and all my school work. felt good. we made smores. they tasted good.
my biggest goal of the day is to finish this 2 liter bottle of root beer. a few more extremely large gulps and i'd say ill be half way done.
i wanna leave, meet new people, and forget about everything cause really everything thats making me sad isnt worth it. boys are effin gay, and im not gonna worry about that right now. school is over so thats a huge weight lifted. and my family is great except for one person really doesnt care about me right now. i need to work more and get more money and buy a boat and drive somewhere and then come back when i clear my head. i dont think thats gonna happen cause i dont think ill be able to control my money spending habits...
being home by myself and thinking a lot about crappy things isnt good for me. im not gonna complain here anymore, its just sad that right now i have no one to talk to so i have to share it in this shitty thing.
my cat scratched me.. my finger is bleeding.. its running down my finger...
well its over. im probably the biggest idiot, but someday i'll get over that. right now i guess i feel like shit about a lot of things. every things going downhill again. this year was the hardest year of my life so far. freshman year sucked. i learned a lot about myself and how much i can suck. the things i do are really dumb. i met new people though. i learned a lot about my friends. i learned about life too. this summer is gonna be a crazy one. i can tell already. after wednesday night i felt like i grew up more. yeah that sounds lame.
just about every night since then though has killed me in some way or another. yeah they've been hard to deal with, and trust me things can only get worse. im glad im so pessimistic about everything. christ.
had another fire last night with ashley. we burnt all my binders and all my school work. felt good. we made smores. they tasted good.
my biggest goal of the day is to finish this 2 liter bottle of root beer. a few more extremely large gulps and i'd say ill be half way done.
i wanna leave, meet new people, and forget about everything cause really everything thats making me sad isnt worth it. boys are effin gay, and im not gonna worry about that right now. school is over so thats a huge weight lifted. and my family is great except for one person really doesnt care about me right now. i need to work more and get more money and buy a boat and drive somewhere and then come back when i clear my head. i dont think thats gonna happen cause i dont think ill be able to control my money spending habits...
being home by myself and thinking a lot about crappy things isnt good for me. im not gonna complain here anymore, its just sad that right now i have no one to talk to so i have to share it in this shitty thing.
my cat scratched me.. my finger is bleeding.. its running down my finger...