(no subject)
i decided to update just because its been a while. i know this is really pointless. i actually have a lot i could talk about.. but i know no one really cares what ive been up to. i know i honestly dont wanna read about my life. its such a waste of time. why should i tell people about what ive been doing? i know no one cares. this is basically just a pointless conversation, like the ones you stay up until 1 for. you just talk about your day..awkward silences. you think about how you would rather be doing something else but really cant leave. well let me just warn you, this conversation isnt really going anywhere so you can back out if you want. im pretty sure im gonna be talking about a bunch of random shit.. cause i have a lot on my mind and i dont have anyone to talk to about it at the moment and i need to get some of it out.i just got home from leannes house. its snowing. everyone knows its snowing, there was no point in me saying it. ok, just so you know i am not delirious, or even close to being hyper. i dont know what order im gonna put this in. so here it goes. ive had a pretty good vacation. im meeting new people and getting closer to some. i like it. ive been pretty happy lately actually. i dont get how this happend? you dont know what im talking about, probably.. and i guess it doesnt matter cause i dont care. ive been so happy lately..just the thought of that.. of me being happy kinda makes me sad. it almost makes me want to cry. man, im just waisting my time with this.. im sure you all have better things to do than read this. i know im probably gonna have more to say tomorrow and saturday. i cant explain how i feel right now. butterflys maybe? but why? cause im happy? cause im excited for tomorrow, yeah im actually looking forward to a new day, besides the fact that i have to wake up early for a dentist appointment. whats with the dentist lately, everyones been going. anyways.. maybe im feeling this way because i cant be sad right now? or maybe because i just read leannes update, which made me pretty happy to see some of that. im not sure. i cant explain this. im kinda blank.i have so much i could tell you all, so much things i could say to make this a real update, i could say what ive been up to these past few days.. but that would be pointless. whys everything seem so pointless? whats the meaning of this? whats the meaning of life? and why the hell does it have to be so difficult. no ones really happy. sure sometimes we are, most of the time everyone is. we have our ups and downs..i think im just getting my ups. i think thats why i have this feeling.. its my ups. definanlty. hah. i love ups. ok. im glad i got to ramble. so you read it, and im sure you have nothing to comment about this.. once again, awkward silence