(no subject)
i slept till 930, got up and my dad made pancakes for me, took a shower, then went to boston. i thought i was gonna run on a treadmill for my heart, but they didnt for me, just my little brother, and there was really no point in me missing school today to go to the hostpital cause all the doctor did was talk to me about my dumb heart problem that i could care less about. but i guess its kinda serious cause if it gets infected or something, which according to the doctor if it does, it will be a problem, so i have to take medication before i go the dentists? i still dont understand why? wow today just really sucked! i sat while the doctor told me stuff about my heart and i wasnt even listening, just thinking about what a waste of time this is, then he listened to my heart and talked more, and i dont even know half the crap he was talking about. i would of rather been in school cause of course my teachers decide to save all the reviewing for mid-terms to the one day i cant be there! im sure tomorrow will suck too. i know im not gonna see the one person i want to see and im not gonna end up doing anything tomorrow night. i just want the weekend to come so i can finally hang out with friends and then sleepover leannes and play video games.
im so pissed off right now. the whole car ride home i was just thinking about how weird life is, i mean how weird that your born and you become a total stranger to your family, and there total strangers to you. but you end up growing up and you go to school and learn about a bunch of pointless shit that you will either end up forgetting about or never use again, and yet without school i would never of met anyone i know. then eventually you leave home to go to college, and usually once you leave home for that its kinda not your home anymore, your all grown up and its time to get your own house and start your own family. how weird is it to think that i have grown up in this house and in a few years, i wont be living here anymore. i wonder what my parents will do with my room? i think it will be kinda sad when i come home one day and its just not my room anymore. like think about it, someday your gonna lose your room and your feeling of security and comfort. i hate the thought of growing up. i dont like change at all. well, some change. i dont like how everything im so familiar with is gonna disappear and life isnt gonna be the same. thats one thing im always thinking about. this is my last year of having my life, right now this is my life, and everything is the same as it used to be. now johns gonna be going to college next year and year by year my life will be ending. everything is going to change. i wont be seeing my cousins and friends all the time, and it wont be life as i know it. once im out of high school its like im starting a new life, in a new place, with new people. i hate thinking about it. so anyways, i think life kinda sucks right now cause all i can think about is this big change, this new beginning. but then you move on and get old and have family and then things change again, cause soon your really old and your family members or friends or you just die. yeah its sad. i just dont want to go through this all.
well that was a long entry, i just wanted to get that all out.
im so pissed off right now. the whole car ride home i was just thinking about how weird life is, i mean how weird that your born and you become a total stranger to your family, and there total strangers to you. but you end up growing up and you go to school and learn about a bunch of pointless shit that you will either end up forgetting about or never use again, and yet without school i would never of met anyone i know. then eventually you leave home to go to college, and usually once you leave home for that its kinda not your home anymore, your all grown up and its time to get your own house and start your own family. how weird is it to think that i have grown up in this house and in a few years, i wont be living here anymore. i wonder what my parents will do with my room? i think it will be kinda sad when i come home one day and its just not my room anymore. like think about it, someday your gonna lose your room and your feeling of security and comfort. i hate the thought of growing up. i dont like change at all. well, some change. i dont like how everything im so familiar with is gonna disappear and life isnt gonna be the same. thats one thing im always thinking about. this is my last year of having my life, right now this is my life, and everything is the same as it used to be. now johns gonna be going to college next year and year by year my life will be ending. everything is going to change. i wont be seeing my cousins and friends all the time, and it wont be life as i know it. once im out of high school its like im starting a new life, in a new place, with new people. i hate thinking about it. so anyways, i think life kinda sucks right now cause all i can think about is this big change, this new beginning. but then you move on and get old and have family and then things change again, cause soon your really old and your family members or friends or you just die. yeah its sad. i just dont want to go through this all.
well that was a long entry, i just wanted to get that all out.