I am so the criminal type.
So yesterday I was at a Wawa (like a 7-11 w/gas pumps) under suspicion of counterfeiting. I kid you not. I went to a Wawa at the beginning of Delaware and got a $20 back in change that looked a bit wonky. I mention it to the cashier who laughs it off and says "oh it must have been washed a hundred times". So skip ahead an hour and I am visiting another Wawa near the end of Delaware. I pay for gas and snacks with the twenty. I get out to the car, try to pump the gas and find the pump wasn't turned on. I go back in (with Emmy sitting in the locked car) and was informed "we cannot accept this twenty, it is counterfeit, it isn't real", with, of course, scorn in their eyes. "Well I got that as change in another Wawa not an hour ago." So skip ahead a good half an hour while one clerk is on the phone with another clerk from said store. I describe what I bought down to the mini doughnut, my exact total, my physical description along with Emily's, and the time of my visit. So while the clerks are practically glaring at me like they are thinking they might have seen me on America's Most Wanted last night and along with a snide question of "what do you expect us to do about it? We can't refund your money", the other store says they have no record of me on their security camera and can't help me in any way. I lost my receipt and other than a sub ticket, my memory and their exact address on the GPS I have no proof I was there either. So of course when I hear all this, after waiting in the store for over a half an hour, knowing Emmy is in the car and probably freaking out, I, of course, start crying. It was an absolute nightmare. So I say forget it and leave without my change of $6 (how they worked this out I don't know because I was due back like $13 but anyway), get to the car in my teary mess to find Emmy in a teary mess saying she has to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW. So, oh lovely day, I get to go back in the store where I just spent 30 of the most humilating minutes of my life so I can stand outside the bathroom door while Emmy takes the longest poop break ever. Ugh.