Sunday morning ponderings
Why is it when you don't have time to sleep, its the most luxurious thing in the world. At 5am on a weekend, when sleeping is not only allowed but thoroughly encouraged, my eyes are wide open. Laying awake in bed at 5am on a Sunday is torturous. If I were alone it would be one thing, I could read, pet a cat, watch a movie but trying to be quiet and not moving while I am wide awake is nothing short of hell. Not sure what woke me up, though the weird noise Freddie was making might have done it. She was making this panting/puking noise but she was purring. Not sure what that might have been. I'm just praying it doesn't turn into a vet necessary thing. Because other than trading sexual favors with the vet I have no other way of paying. I am kidding of course, well, unless you know of any hot young veterinarians out there?
Why is it that once you start getting paid for something you love it becomes a soul-sucking chore? Aristotle said "All paid work absorbs and degrades the mind." And damned if it ain't true. I loved making candles but when I started making them for profit I quickly hated the obligation and process. I loved facepainting, I went out of my way to find events I could do it at. I sunk $400 or more in supplies, tons of hours in research and training, websites, advertising, personalized T shirts, made signs, etc. And now that I am getting parties I am starting to feel the ol' resentment sinking in. I guess what I hate is the obligation, the intrusion on my time. Well welcome to the real f*cking world, Nicole! I am such a crappy adult. Should there have been a maturity test to enter adulthood I would surely have failed. Even when I was working at the library, a job I loved, coworkers I loved, I was miserable. I felt like the job totally sucked the fun out of life, that, as I mentioned before, became a soul-sucking chore. And guess how long I have to work today? One measly hour! And I'm actually bitching about it! I am shocked at my nerve too, its not just you! :p I guess some of the annoying things about facepainting are starting to get to me. I hate getting 5 phone calls about one frickin' party. First to book the party, then another call to change the date, another call to change the venue, another call to change the start time, another call to change how long they need me. And yes, that very thing has happened...a few times. Doing the best job I can, thinking it looks good, and then seeing the disappointment on the child's face. Nothing can sink my morale faster than a child waiting patiently in line, getting into the chair, sitting still and not getting what they want. On the other hand sometimes I totally screw up a face and they look into the mirror and absolutely love it. I hate people booking me for an hour when there are 50 kids present and I had told them I can only do 8-10 faces an hour (this is pretty standard when doing whole face designs, which they always want). I hate having to turn kids away when I am already half an hour past my "paid time". Or the parents who see me packing up and ask me for just one more quick face.
Karl is leaving this week for a month playing war games in the desert. This is in preparation for a 7 month deployment in Iraq. I know its our turn, he's been in 8 years and has never gone "over there". It still sucks though. The neighbors are moving in just a couple weeks so I will be all alone down here. No family for 600 miles and only "acquaintance" type friends. I don't know how I am going to cope. When Karl was gone for the year in San Diego the neighbors were over every single day. I had Fisher to keep me company in other ways, and now I know what a user jerk he is (not to mention he is leaving this summer too). The summer won't be so bad, I will have family visiting and my mother-in-law has said she would come down and stay for a couple weeks in the fall. My daydream would be to buy a winnebago, pack up the pets and Emmy and I visit all of our relatives. No money for that though, nor a commercial driver's license. I guess we'll see how it goes. Its something you don't really know until you're actually in the thick of it (deployment and loneliness that is).
Well, I think I might start a load of laundry and do the dishes, maybe then I can snatch a couple of hours of sleep before I have to go for my one hour of facepainting. :p
Why is it that once you start getting paid for something you love it becomes a soul-sucking chore? Aristotle said "All paid work absorbs and degrades the mind." And damned if it ain't true. I loved making candles but when I started making them for profit I quickly hated the obligation and process. I loved facepainting, I went out of my way to find events I could do it at. I sunk $400 or more in supplies, tons of hours in research and training, websites, advertising, personalized T shirts, made signs, etc. And now that I am getting parties I am starting to feel the ol' resentment sinking in. I guess what I hate is the obligation, the intrusion on my time. Well welcome to the real f*cking world, Nicole! I am such a crappy adult. Should there have been a maturity test to enter adulthood I would surely have failed. Even when I was working at the library, a job I loved, coworkers I loved, I was miserable. I felt like the job totally sucked the fun out of life, that, as I mentioned before, became a soul-sucking chore. And guess how long I have to work today? One measly hour! And I'm actually bitching about it! I am shocked at my nerve too, its not just you! :p I guess some of the annoying things about facepainting are starting to get to me. I hate getting 5 phone calls about one frickin' party. First to book the party, then another call to change the date, another call to change the venue, another call to change the start time, another call to change how long they need me. And yes, that very thing has happened...a few times. Doing the best job I can, thinking it looks good, and then seeing the disappointment on the child's face. Nothing can sink my morale faster than a child waiting patiently in line, getting into the chair, sitting still and not getting what they want. On the other hand sometimes I totally screw up a face and they look into the mirror and absolutely love it. I hate people booking me for an hour when there are 50 kids present and I had told them I can only do 8-10 faces an hour (this is pretty standard when doing whole face designs, which they always want). I hate having to turn kids away when I am already half an hour past my "paid time". Or the parents who see me packing up and ask me for just one more quick face.
Karl is leaving this week for a month playing war games in the desert. This is in preparation for a 7 month deployment in Iraq. I know its our turn, he's been in 8 years and has never gone "over there". It still sucks though. The neighbors are moving in just a couple weeks so I will be all alone down here. No family for 600 miles and only "acquaintance" type friends. I don't know how I am going to cope. When Karl was gone for the year in San Diego the neighbors were over every single day. I had Fisher to keep me company in other ways, and now I know what a user jerk he is (not to mention he is leaving this summer too). The summer won't be so bad, I will have family visiting and my mother-in-law has said she would come down and stay for a couple weeks in the fall. My daydream would be to buy a winnebago, pack up the pets and Emmy and I visit all of our relatives. No money for that though, nor a commercial driver's license. I guess we'll see how it goes. Its something you don't really know until you're actually in the thick of it (deployment and loneliness that is).
Well, I think I might start a load of laundry and do the dishes, maybe then I can snatch a couple of hours of sleep before I have to go for my one hour of facepainting. :p