Happy Birthday Emily!
Today my little girl turns 4. I can't believe the time has flown by so fast. I love her more now than ever before. She is just so smart and funny, she makes everyone laugh (and sigh from exasperation, LOL). I know she is spoiled rotten but I wish I could give her more. More of me, really. I wish I could play with her for hours on end without getting impatient, bored or restless.
Bills, bills, bills, bills. I freakin hate money. We are so broke its not even funny. I remember a day when I could pay every single bill we had and now I am scraping pennies together to pay past due balances. I have Emmy's party this weekend and no money to do it. I am holding off on sending my van payment so I can afford the moonwalk rental fee. I asked Evelyn to cover the pizzas for the party so that is one less thing. I asked my Dad if I could pay him half of the $200 monthly payment I owe him (from the transmission) and he never emailed me back. I don't know if he's mad or what. So now I am not paying my electric bill so I can send him his $200. Grrrr. Really, I'm not saying this for anyone to feel sorry for me. We dug ourselves in this hole. I JUST want to vent, that is all. Karl was supposed to take over the bills because I was sick of trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip. A week later, of course, he gets his orders for San Diego. I HATE getting guilt trips from him because we don't have money.
I wish I could be happier on my daughter's birthday but all I do feel like is crying and hiding in my bed under the covers. I want to shut the world out, go into a self imposed hibernation and just take a break from life for awhile. It all just gets too overwhelming sometimes. Everything is such a juggle, I have all these balls in the air and I just know one is going to fall and crack my head open. I know it could be worse. I try to remember that. I hate not being able to pay my bills, I just hate it.
Karl gets his re-enlistment bonus next summer, June or July of 2007. It will be $47,000, half up front and the other half in yearly checks. That will be our Godsend, that will fix everything.
Bills, bills, bills, bills. I freakin hate money. We are so broke its not even funny. I remember a day when I could pay every single bill we had and now I am scraping pennies together to pay past due balances. I have Emmy's party this weekend and no money to do it. I am holding off on sending my van payment so I can afford the moonwalk rental fee. I asked Evelyn to cover the pizzas for the party so that is one less thing. I asked my Dad if I could pay him half of the $200 monthly payment I owe him (from the transmission) and he never emailed me back. I don't know if he's mad or what. So now I am not paying my electric bill so I can send him his $200. Grrrr. Really, I'm not saying this for anyone to feel sorry for me. We dug ourselves in this hole. I JUST want to vent, that is all. Karl was supposed to take over the bills because I was sick of trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip. A week later, of course, he gets his orders for San Diego. I HATE getting guilt trips from him because we don't have money.
I wish I could be happier on my daughter's birthday but all I do feel like is crying and hiding in my bed under the covers. I want to shut the world out, go into a self imposed hibernation and just take a break from life for awhile. It all just gets too overwhelming sometimes. Everything is such a juggle, I have all these balls in the air and I just know one is going to fall and crack my head open. I know it could be worse. I try to remember that. I hate not being able to pay my bills, I just hate it.
Karl gets his re-enlistment bonus next summer, June or July of 2007. It will be $47,000, half up front and the other half in yearly checks. That will be our Godsend, that will fix everything.