[open]

[hank_callahan]

Hospital food sucks. So do vampires, but Spike's the exception for sneaking me my iPhone, yo.

Somebody beat my dad into a coma, then come entertain me.

Comments

[modestnygirl]

What happened? Who attacked your dad?

[hank_callahan]

Nobody yet, but somebody should, yo. He's refusing medical attention, he's a doctor. He punched a wall...should've said that first.

Sorry. I'm on a shit ton of drugs. It's fun.

[modestnygirl]

Oh, well being a doctor, I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

What drugs have you taken?

[hank_callahan]

Yeah, he has no clue. His hand's...fuck, what's the word...dislocombobulated?

I'm on all the drugs. Allllllllllllllll the drugs. Drugging Slayers is hard, yo.

[modestnygirl]

Ouch, that must have hurt.

All the drugs?? Be careful, you don't want to have too much. It has been a long time since I've been on drugs.

[hank_callahan]

Dad's a total badass. And a fucking moron. Screw this shit, I'll beat him comatose myself...when I can stand.

I don't like drugs. Dad was on drugs, long time ago. But these are...good drugs. Morphiiiiiiiine. That's a funny word.

But, um...yeah? I need em. Got shot. I'm everything but bulletproof, which sucks.

[modestnygirl]

Oh, morphine. That can be fun to be on.

You got shot?! That sucks. I haven't been shot, well not yet anyway. My big brother got shot once and I took the bullet out and patched him up. It wasn't a very pretty sight.

[hank_callahan]

I never been shot. Bullets suck. I don't get shot, vampires hate guns. Which is weird.

OH! I'm Hank...I'm talkin to you and I didn't tell you my name. Did I mention I was on drugs? Lots of 'em?

[modestnygirl]

They do? Vampires suck, one bit me on the arm.

It's nice to meet you Hank, I'm Serena. You may have mentioned that you were on all the drugs.

[hank_callahan]

OUCH. Clean it. With...hoooooly water, yeah that's it. Holy water. Stings, but it's what you do.

And it's nice to meet you, Serena. I hope I remember you when I'm undrugged. You're cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOoooooooooooooool.

[modestnygirl]

Holy water? Okay, I'll do that, thanks.

You're pretty cool yourself! I'll make sure that you do remember me, then. Or I'll seem like some creepy chick who swears you've met her. Either one!

[hank_callahan]

Nooo problem. Just coz I'm retired don't mean I'm dead, yo. That's what I told...the dude.

YOU CAN STALk ME. IT'LL BE FUN.

[modestnygirl]

The dude being the vampire?

Yeah? I don't think I've ever stalked someone before.

[hank_callahan]

OMG HE WAS. How'd u know?

You can stalk me. I'll train you. TRAIN MY FIRST STALKER, I SO RULE.

[modestnygirl]

You said it before. I'm a mind reader, can't you tell?

Oh, that would be cool. I'll be a trained stalker! That's sounds awesome.

[hank_callahan]

Pfffffffffffft. I'd be impressed if I was less mind readable. I'm DOPED UP FUCKED UP AND OUTTA MY MIND.

IT IS. I don't know how it is, but it is. THESE ARE GOOD...MORPHINE. And...arythromyacin. I spelled that off the bag. I could NOT pronounce that if I TRIED.