outlet
so, i decided i'm going to start writing in this thing again. it'll give me a chance to just put some stuff down somewhere so maybe i can start clearing my head a little bit.
a lot has changed in the past year and a half and i'm okay with that.
right now, i'm sitting in the lounge on the 13th floor of lawrinson hall at syracuse university. i haven't slept in 40 hours and for some reason, still do not feel tired. erin kinsella, tiny prisilovic, and sarah rollins were here a little earlier. erin went up to floor 20 to see sean o'connell because he just got back from music party absolutely totaled.
my head is rushing with 8 billion different things right now. handling stuff at home vs. stuff here at school. i go on break today. it's going to be weird. i feel like i just need to cry in order to get stuff out but just like with sleeping, i can't do it. i've been trampled on so many times before and i don't want to let it happen again, but it is. i thought i could stand up for myself but i'm starting to think i can't. my plans are getting all messed up for where i want to go with my life. i thought i had it all planned out. switching now would just enable my parents to say i told you so...i don't want them too. i am so sick of hearing what they have to say. always putting their two sense into stuff. i am my own person now. it's their parental duty to put me through school and it's my duty to make my life MY life. that's all i want. 'cuse is enabling me to be me. i like who i've become even though some people seem to think change is a bad thing. like really, it comes with life. man up and deal with it. everyone is so still living in high school with the high school drama and baloney. it's really not necessary at all. people need to stop whining about how much this or that sucks. it's okay once in a while to get upset but not every single moment of your life. seriously. and people need to get their priorities straight. you can't go and yell at someone about how they're treating you if you're treating them like crap right back. it just doesn't work that way and whatever in the hell gives that impression needs to be taken care of immediately. oh, and i cannot STAND when people get walked all over because they care. that's just a nasty abuse of a gift. you have some freakin' nerve if you think it's okay to take advantage of a person and not show any time of reciprocation whatsoever. that's just a lot of hullabaloo. GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY.
a lot has changed in the past year and a half and i'm okay with that.
right now, i'm sitting in the lounge on the 13th floor of lawrinson hall at syracuse university. i haven't slept in 40 hours and for some reason, still do not feel tired. erin kinsella, tiny prisilovic, and sarah rollins were here a little earlier. erin went up to floor 20 to see sean o'connell because he just got back from music party absolutely totaled.
my head is rushing with 8 billion different things right now. handling stuff at home vs. stuff here at school. i go on break today. it's going to be weird. i feel like i just need to cry in order to get stuff out but just like with sleeping, i can't do it. i've been trampled on so many times before and i don't want to let it happen again, but it is. i thought i could stand up for myself but i'm starting to think i can't. my plans are getting all messed up for where i want to go with my life. i thought i had it all planned out. switching now would just enable my parents to say i told you so...i don't want them too. i am so sick of hearing what they have to say. always putting their two sense into stuff. i am my own person now. it's their parental duty to put me through school and it's my duty to make my life MY life. that's all i want. 'cuse is enabling me to be me. i like who i've become even though some people seem to think change is a bad thing. like really, it comes with life. man up and deal with it. everyone is so still living in high school with the high school drama and baloney. it's really not necessary at all. people need to stop whining about how much this or that sucks. it's okay once in a while to get upset but not every single moment of your life. seriously. and people need to get their priorities straight. you can't go and yell at someone about how they're treating you if you're treating them like crap right back. it just doesn't work that way and whatever in the hell gives that impression needs to be taken care of immediately. oh, and i cannot STAND when people get walked all over because they care. that's just a nasty abuse of a gift. you have some freakin' nerve if you think it's okay to take advantage of a person and not show any time of reciprocation whatsoever. that's just a lot of hullabaloo. GET OVER YOURSELF ALREADY.