5.4.2. Direction.
He hesitated and put the cell back down before she had a chance to see him make a call. The days were getting longer as the arguments now filled up most, if not all of their time. To Matt’s highest hopes she didn’t see him. It was either that or she was ignoring him in the anger of their latest fight. He’d tried everything to reason with her and like the many times before nothing would seem to work. There would be that moment of happiness between the two of them that would last a day tops, sometimes two before it would crash and burn. “I can’t forgive this.” Matt more whispered to himself. Rubbing his temple to help with the headache this had all caused.
The constant misplacement of his thoughts mixed with what was going on more than often gave him headaches. Long headaches, sometimes to the point where stars would cross his vision and Matt would find himself lying down. At least once a day he told himself he wasn’t a freak. That he’d wake up and all of this would be a dream. But it wasn’t. He had this power but it was more than that. It was a part of him that couldn’t be taken away. In time there was no doubt that he would be able to control it but that thought came with the worry of what if he couldn’t. To be that psycho cop on the news that wouldn’t leave his house because of the voices. Matt would lose more than his badge. He’d lose his life.
When the coast was clear he picked up his coffee from the table and walked to the room furthest away from their bedroom. He needed this time to think about his next move. Where he would go, maybe what would he do? He hadn’t thought about the next step for fear of treading through this mine field he always appeared to be standing at. “You can do this Matt come on, focus.” It hardly crossed his mind that he’d spoken to himself. When your world falls down around you a sign of madness is the last thing to cross your mind. That’s what he told himself. For anyone watching him through the open window he’d look lost. Not even he felt at home in their house now. The walls appeared to drip with the lies she fed him. She might have thought he wouldn’t pick up on them but he did. Matt might be dyslexic but he isn’t stupid. There’s only so much you can hide before it takes one lie to cover up the mess you made and before you know it you have a train of betrayal and mistrust.
He couldn’t have that. Not in his house not with what he thought was his baby that now had turned out to be someone else’s child growing inside the woman he loved. She never told him, not even a whisper but then she didn’t have to. Everything she thought Matt could hear as if she was speaking directly at him. In the end it’s what ruined their relationships.
Everyone has secrets, some darker than most.
Matt Parkman
Heroes
531
The constant misplacement of his thoughts mixed with what was going on more than often gave him headaches. Long headaches, sometimes to the point where stars would cross his vision and Matt would find himself lying down. At least once a day he told himself he wasn’t a freak. That he’d wake up and all of this would be a dream. But it wasn’t. He had this power but it was more than that. It was a part of him that couldn’t be taken away. In time there was no doubt that he would be able to control it but that thought came with the worry of what if he couldn’t. To be that psycho cop on the news that wouldn’t leave his house because of the voices. Matt would lose more than his badge. He’d lose his life.
When the coast was clear he picked up his coffee from the table and walked to the room furthest away from their bedroom. He needed this time to think about his next move. Where he would go, maybe what would he do? He hadn’t thought about the next step for fear of treading through this mine field he always appeared to be standing at. “You can do this Matt come on, focus.” It hardly crossed his mind that he’d spoken to himself. When your world falls down around you a sign of madness is the last thing to cross your mind. That’s what he told himself. For anyone watching him through the open window he’d look lost. Not even he felt at home in their house now. The walls appeared to drip with the lies she fed him. She might have thought he wouldn’t pick up on them but he did. Matt might be dyslexic but he isn’t stupid. There’s only so much you can hide before it takes one lie to cover up the mess you made and before you know it you have a train of betrayal and mistrust.
He couldn’t have that. Not in his house not with what he thought was his baby that now had turned out to be someone else’s child growing inside the woman he loved. She never told him, not even a whisper but then she didn’t have to. Everything she thought Matt could hear as if she was speaking directly at him. In the end it’s what ruined their relationships.
Everyone has secrets, some darker than most.
Matt Parkman
Heroes
531