37.2. Somebody to Love lyrics
37.2. Somebody to Love - Queen
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
Co-written with histhornedrose
[Follows THIS]
It was morning again, and Blaise was sitting at the large antique mahogany desk in his office, the blinds drawn and the door closed as he concentrated on going over the whole written notes from Riley's team members in relation to Rory's attack. He was trying to see any subdued signs of what may have triggered it, but there was still a big question mark hanging over the whole thing. The case notes were useless, isolated to mere military labels and frames of mind. If anything, it was Rory himself that Blaise needed the information from. Even things like tattoos, comments, how the attackers were dressed could tell Blaise a lot.
With a distracted sigh, he dropped the last file heavily on top of the pile beside him and pushed them all off to the side to look at Juliette. She had been sitting there for a short while now, silent and not saying much beyond their initial greeting when she first came to his office. "It is no use. We just have to wait for him to wake up, to understand how he is. For all we know, as a Hunter, he provoked it."
Juliette's gaze flicked to Blaise. "I don't believe that for a moment. He's not that stupid," she replied as she tried not to bristle. She couldn't help it. Rory being attacked had struck her right to her core and as old as she was, as mature as she was - she could still feel like a Childer when she was shaken enough. The guilt was still eating her up inside. No matter how she tried to look at it, she was responsible. If Rory had been granted access to the palace then he wouldn't have been out there, he wouldn't have had to call her. "I need blood," she said after a moment. Only she wasn't referring to a need to feed. She wanted vengeance, a way to take out her anger on someone.
Blaise just looked at her calmly. "They are dead. You will not take innocent blood. I forbid you," he said firmly, not impressed that she was not keeping her composure over this. "Am I supposed to believe that having him in your presence for his recovery when you are like this is the best option. Right now, you are not convincing me. If you are angry, it is simply going to further inflame his Brujah urges around you. Perhaps bringing him here is not such a sound idea. However, I believe he needs to be with his best friend. She will have more of an ability to ground him than of the rest of us do, whout resorting to more drastic measures."
Juliette closed her eyes as she stilled in her seat again and worked on quashing her anger. She wanted to ask Blaise how he'd react if it had been Buffy, but she wasn't interested in starting a fight. When she opened her eyes again they were green, no hint of silver in sight. "Bringing him here is a sound idea. He really is safest within these walls. Perhaps I should just stay away but we both know what will happen if he wakes up and he's a danger to those closest. Even to Airlie. She is a Childer. Do you honestly believe she'll have the strength to pull back if she's forced to drain him?"
"Bien sûr que non, and she will not let herself even start. She would as soon as kill herself than be forced to do that to her friend. I would not even expect it of her," Blaise responded with a shake of his head. "I meant for friendship, familiarity and companionship. They have known each other for many years. She might have been Embraced, but that does not dissolve a frienship. In fact, he has stood by her through the whole thing, learnt of our Kind because of it. That is admirable. And I understand you are going to struggle with that and feel you should be the most fitting with him above everyone else, but you cannot forgot his friend."
"It is not the fact his best friend is the most fitting that I am struggling with," Juliette murmured as she ran her fingers through her dark hair. "I think it's more the fact that he will blame me for what happened. How could he not? And how could he even want our Kind near him again? Airlie may well be the exception but only because of their connection." She stood up and started to walk around, her fingers brushing against the curtains she didn't dare open. Not during the middle of the day. "She's the right choice to be with him."
Blaise nodded slowly and folded his hands in front of him. "Indeed, he may. He might not even wish to stay in France, in which case, we would have to respect his wishes. Assuming they are wishes of a sound mind. If he gets into too much of an angry rage, we know it is not himself. We will cross that bridge when we come to it," he said quietly, looking down at his fingers. He was waiting to hear from Sergeant Finn or any of the doctors at the facility to indicate they were stopping the sedatives. They said it would come as soon as the blood transfusions ceased.
Juliette turned to glance at Blaise over her shoulder before she came over to him and slipped her arms around him in a hug to seek some sort of comfort. "We're not even any closer to knowing the reason for the attack. We won't know until he wakes and we have some concrete evidence. What about you? How are you coping with our new guests?"
"Which we might not get. He might not remember even being attacked. In which case, it could end up simply being a fact of waiting for another attack, only I am obviously reluctant to take that route. Also, if he does not remember, it could make it a whole more difficult to deal with him and help him understand. He might not want to listen to reason. In saying that, he did try to fight them off with a stake, so he was aware he was being attacked." Blaise shrugged. "Perfectly fine. They are no bother."
Juliette pulled away and leaned against his desk as she touched the collar of his shirt. "A stake... Buffy has been talking to him, non? The fact that he assumed a stake would be of help means they really didn't try and hide their intentions. It was an open attack. If they had succeeded in Embracing him they never would have been concerned about being caught. Rory would have had no choice but to feel loyal to their Clan. And the Slayer herself?"
"I assume so, but he is a Hunter. Slayers do not have monopoly on stakes, cherie. He also had a knife. Obviously the fact he lost his family means he goes out prepared. Or perhaps just goes out in strange places prepared. There was three against one, so it wasn't an accidental attack. Their aim was to Embrace him, no doubt. Perhaps they just thought he would be a good addition to their cause. You know the Brujah, always looking for ways to gain power. If what Airlie indicated to Sergeant Finn was correct, Rory harbours Brujah tendencies within him. He was supposedly nothing like he is now prior to losing his family. Of course he would be loyal. He is a Scot, blood loyalty is also within him. I know it would be difficult for you to accept because you see other sides of him, but he would survive perfectly fine as a Brujah, if it came to that." Blaise paused and cleared his throat softly as he glanced away at the corner of the desk. "I believe she is falling in love with Sergeant Finn."
Juliette's gaze flicked away again as she turned it towards an ornate painting on the wall behind them. "I still do not see those qualities as the ones that rule him. Any person can have different tendencies harboured within them. Perhaps you were Embraced as Ventrue, and are truly Ventrue inside and out but I think a part of you could have been Toreador. You like beautiful things, you appreciate beauty. You're just better at business. He has not been Embraced, so talking about him being Brujah is pointless. He will never let himself be Embraced. It would only be through brute force that Rory could be changed." Her eyes quickly returned to Blaise as she arched an eyebrow. "What makes you say that? He seems to believe they are over."
"It is not pointless at all. You are going to have to prepare yourself for it, because like it or not, he is not going to wake up happy. To just brush it off would be foolish. He came near enough and it should be discussed. Unfortunately, most Embraces against will are through brute force. If Riley's men had not been there, this whole discussion would be an extremely different one." Blaise pushed his paperwork away so he could rest his arms on the desk in front of him. "Anyone can say words that are inaccurate, mon amour. Perhaps he just wants to believe they are over because he thinks something is occuring between Buffy and myself. Fact of the matter is, a few days ago, there was nothing, and now I can feel it on her. It cannot be a mere coincidence."
"I do not like this one bit. I do not like that these connards got it into their heads that attacking Rory - attacking anyone - was a good idea. And I apologise for being so discontent. It's not as easy as I thought it was to stay in control. I am truly thankful that his men were there. I do not know what I would be feeling now if it had gone differently... He asked me if I would have truly been disappointed at seeing Rory turned." Juliette perched herself on the edge of his desk properly with her legs crossed over. The red skirt she wore exposed her porcelain skin and long legs. "He did mention that he didn't want to go after her because of you. Still, you do not think that maybe the encounter with Riley has merely helped her to be more open to love? To recognise that it is something she does want with you?"
"I know it is not, and that is why I am here to make sure you are okay too. I realise you might fall, loose control. I will do what I can to stop it. I just really do not want you losing control around Rory because it could be dire to any lasting relationship you have with him, even if it is just a friendship. He needs to understand he is safe here. That is vital. Even beyond the initial reactions and effects, underneath it all he will still be himself, and still probably very scared. That is why Airlie needs to be close. That is a fair question, and one I would expect of someone in Sergeant Finn's position. He needs to see all angles. At the end of the day, it would be a lot easier for us if our lovers were Kindred. We cannot deny that." Blaise brushed his hand over her leg, but the contact ended as soon as it began. It was a mere reminder to her that he was there. Something stopped him from progressing with it further, though. "I do not know, cherie. It is just a disconcerting coincidence, and Sergeant Finn has protected her heart before. She just didn't have the capacity to give it to him back then. This is perhaps their second chance. You saw yourself, he is a gentleman, and he can offer her all the normalcy she needs. He does care about her."
Juliette had appreciated the touch, but even she wasn't in a hurry to return it. She kept her hands gripped around the edge of Blaise's desk as she willed herself to stay calm. "Perhaps it is merely best that I stay away from him until the Brujah has worked through his system. He can still be here, but I will keep to my chambers. No, we cannot deny it would be easier, but that does not mean we want to see someone Embraced like this. Against their will is unforgivable. You know that as much as anyone. Just like I know what it is to want to be Embraced... to accept that second life." She pressed her ruby red lips together before they kicked up at the corners. "Forgive me for saying this, mon loup, but I do not think it is the normalcy she is after. And Sergeant Finn really did seem more than ready to let her go. Perhaps he loved her once, but I think she's used up the second chance. However, I would never discount your senses, and that just leads me to be as confused as you are."
Blaise narrowed his eyes briefly in thought. "Non. At least give him chance to be around you. He did come here to see you, afterall, and if he remembers that, you will owe him an explanation, at the very least. Knowing he will at least be physically okay is the first step. The concussion, the breaks, they will all heal. The whole experience may be quite eye-opening for him, if he has been unhappy in general. I know that is a difficult thing to say, but perhaps it will. There is just as much chance of that as there is that he will come to despise being in the presence of Kindred. It could go either way. We will do our best to make sure it will be the former option." He covered his face with his hands and rubbed at his eyes for a few moments, still obviously feeling drained. "They still slept together with surprising ease. For ex lovers, it was a bewildering ease. I feel like there are unresolved feelings there. Something has changed. I do not urge to feed from her, but I am curious."
Juliette gave a small nod even if she couldn't find it in herself to feel optimistic over the idea of Rory embracing the experience. "I still say most of his unhappiness stems from an urge to be a father. He wants a family. I do not think becoming part of a Clan was what he meant. However, I will do as you say. I can at least get a chance to know Airlie as well at this juncture. Have some time with the Childer, see if I cannot help her. You do not think they are now resolved? Have you even asked her? Maybe you really are the catalyst for her change. It could all just be a coincidence, and you're fearing something you don't have reason to."
"That would make sense, indeed. I am thankful, mostly, that I never reached an age to have that urge. Or not so much an age, but emotional maturity," Blaise corrected with a laugh. "Perhaps his whole world would just feel more content if he could have that chance again. But that could just mean letting him go, which is never easy either. Trust me, I do understand that." Blaise ran his fingers through his hair. "That is why I have been ill. It is been too long since I have loved. I only realised the fact recently and it seems like it has been more and more difficult to function with. Non, I have not asked. I will, I assume. The time is not right yet. If they are falling in love, I will not get in the way of that. I will not aggravate the situation for them at all. It would be hypocritical of me to want to, consider it is exactly what I yearn for myself."
Juliette really didn't want to let Rory go, but she had thought she was making the right decision for them both by keeping him at arm's length. By not letting him into the palace. Blaise had been blocking out Buffy, so Juliette had blocked out Rory. She also assumed it would allow him to go and get what he wanted. She would never be able to give him that. She didn't want him to have to give it up to be with her either. "Je suis desole, mon amour. Of course now you say that, it makes sense. I will never be able to give you that. All I can do is hope that you find it. I was hoping you had, but... maybe not."
"I should not have claimed her. It has clouded judgements. Perhaps both of ours. And yours. It was an error. Now it seems near impossible to see if any feelings are merely resulting from that, or anything else. It has been more than difficult for me to have done that to someone I cannot feed from." Blaise shook his head with a soft growl of annoyance at himself. "I fear without that, Rory may not have gotten hurt."
Juliette touched Blaise's shoulder lightly, and leaned forward to catch his gaze. "Non. Non, mon loup, this is not your fault. Even if the claim was a mistake, it would not have guaranteed that Rory didn't get hurt. We still don't even know if it is because of the Slayer that this happened. It might have been bound to happen regardless. She is still attracted to you, still curious. We will just have to wait and see if it's more. That is all either of us can do... wait."
"Without it, they might not have even been here," Blaise reminded her. He picked up his mobile phone to check for any missed calls. There were none there, and after a moment of thought, he brought up Riley's number and hit the call button, and then the speaker phone. But it just continued to ring without answer, until it rung out. Blaise cursed in annoyance, but assumed the soldier might still not be feeling well and was perhaps still in bed. Blaise was getting impatient for information. "And see if I can share the same feelings. Right now, I am still not entirely sure."
"Without it, we still might both be lonely," Juliette replied. She watched him with the phone as she went back to gripping the side of Blaise's desk. When there was no answer she just cursed softly under her breath. This was one part she disliked about waiting for someone else to do their work. "You're not sure because you believe she is in love with her ex, or because you genuinely do not feel anything at all for her?"
"With it, we are still lonely," Blaise reminded her, as much as it pained him. He hit the call button again then, waiting this time to get Riley's voicemail. He left a brief message asking him to call if there were any developments, but reassuring him not to if there weren't. "He might still be ailing. We cannot haunt him," he explained to Juliette when she raised her eyebrow at him. Normally Blaise would just demand a return call and get pissed if he didn't receive it in adequate time. "Because I genuinely do not like being hurt," he finally clarified, after first contemplating avoiding the question.
Juliette looked at him sadly. "I do not think we are in a position to be happy either way, are we? I only wish I could still give you what you truly needed. I would do anything for you, mon amour. Anything. I just cannot do this. I do not like failing you."
Blaise looked up at her. "Non, do not do that. Since when have you ever played the victim? It's unattractive. I miss the strong-willed woman who can hold her own in any situation. Things might not be full of hearts and flowers at the moment, but be thankful we still walk this earth. Be thankful we have each other, and people around us who mean things to us. Be thankful Rory is still alive. I know I am."
"Of course I am thankful for that. I just cannot seem to find a balance between anger and sadness right now. That is where your strong-willed woman has gone. I've just had to watch you become ill, and talk about it being your time. Now Rory has been attacked." Juliette touched her fingertips to her lips as she glanced down. "Perhaps I need to spend some time painting. I need to take strength from beauty. From art."
"Perhaps it will. You are the only person who will know for sure. Juliette, how many humans, mortals, have to sit by and watch their loved ones ill or injured? We are not above that, and we are going to struggle with it just as much as everyone else. That does not mean we are not going to be happy. All it may mean is that Rory... Buffy... anyone within our grasp right now, are just not the ones destined to make us happy. Life as Kindred is a hell of a long one when you give up at junctures like this. And before you protest that you are giving up, I have to object. We have known for many hundreds of years that we are not compatible as soul mates, as true and deep romantic lovers. We tried that, and we nearly killed each other. This is us, we need each other far beyond romance. I do not regret that and it saddens me to hear that you do," Blaise told her softly.
Juliette tilted her head. "When did I say I regretted this? Us? Mon dieu, Blaise, of course I don't." She took his face in her hands, and brushed her thumbs lightly against his skin. "Non, non, non... I do not regret us. How could I? It is true that we need each other beyond the romance, but there are still moments I wish I could give that to you without us killing each other. I hurt when you hurt. I see you suffering because you are not in love, have not been in love for a while now, so of course I want to fix it. Just like I will kill anyone that hurts you. Just like I will continue to be by your side."
"Expressing a wish to give me what I truly need is regret, completely disregarding the fact that what I truly need is my mate. I just also happen to truly need to feel love again. To find someone who wants to give me that, and allow me to give it in return. I am tired and I am lonely. That does not mean I do not need you. Of course I need you. How else would I get through the crippling emptiness in my heart if it was not for you?" Blaise asked, biting down softly on his lip and lowering his eyes to gaze at the polished surface of his desk.
"Please... you'll make me cry, mon loup." She kissed his forehead before resting hers against it. "And we both know how hard it is to get the tears out of a white silk blouse. How long until you are finished up here? I have an urge to paint you naked. We could save it to give to the woman who finally does win your heart, hm? A present from mate to lover."
Blaise smirked with a slight shake of his head in amusement. "Door locked. I do not need to be explaining that to our guests. Especially not when we have an over-emotional Childer in our midst who could latch onto either of us in a rage for not helping her friend. At least Buffy's friend is here to distract her."
Juliette's lips twitched before she broke out into a grin, and slid off the desk to search out a sketchbook and pencils. She was a Toreador, and art would always be one of her first loves. She kept supplies everywhere in the palace so no matter where she was she could indulge if the mood took her. While she may have been gifted as a singer as well, and owned clubs around Paris, drawing was still her passion. She locked the door in passing, and came back over to Blaise to nuzzle him with a soft growl. "See? I am already happy again, mon amour." She smiled as she licked the side of his neck before biting down playfully on the skin. "There is nothing any of them can do until Rory is awake. Time... It is always about time."
"Everything in life is about time," Blaise agreed, content to just sit there and let her indulge in whatever she needed to make her happy. It wasn't the first time, and it definitely wouldn't be the last. Whatever Juliette produced on her sketchbook would not be for public consumption, anyway. Despite his reputation, Blaise was extremely modest. He valued his privacy, and nudity was something he believed should be shared intimately only. He turned his head when she bit him and his eyes fell closed. Still, he was Kindred. He yearned for that intimacy, and Juliette always knew how to give it to him, even if it never quite, 100% satiated him.
Muse | Blaise Richelieu & Juliette Rousseau
Fandom | Vampire: The Masquerade (Original Characters)
Word Count | 4,293
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
Co-written with histhornedrose
[Follows THIS]
It was morning again, and Blaise was sitting at the large antique mahogany desk in his office, the blinds drawn and the door closed as he concentrated on going over the whole written notes from Riley's team members in relation to Rory's attack. He was trying to see any subdued signs of what may have triggered it, but there was still a big question mark hanging over the whole thing. The case notes were useless, isolated to mere military labels and frames of mind. If anything, it was Rory himself that Blaise needed the information from. Even things like tattoos, comments, how the attackers were dressed could tell Blaise a lot.
With a distracted sigh, he dropped the last file heavily on top of the pile beside him and pushed them all off to the side to look at Juliette. She had been sitting there for a short while now, silent and not saying much beyond their initial greeting when she first came to his office. "It is no use. We just have to wait for him to wake up, to understand how he is. For all we know, as a Hunter, he provoked it."
Juliette's gaze flicked to Blaise. "I don't believe that for a moment. He's not that stupid," she replied as she tried not to bristle. She couldn't help it. Rory being attacked had struck her right to her core and as old as she was, as mature as she was - she could still feel like a Childer when she was shaken enough. The guilt was still eating her up inside. No matter how she tried to look at it, she was responsible. If Rory had been granted access to the palace then he wouldn't have been out there, he wouldn't have had to call her. "I need blood," she said after a moment. Only she wasn't referring to a need to feed. She wanted vengeance, a way to take out her anger on someone.
Blaise just looked at her calmly. "They are dead. You will not take innocent blood. I forbid you," he said firmly, not impressed that she was not keeping her composure over this. "Am I supposed to believe that having him in your presence for his recovery when you are like this is the best option. Right now, you are not convincing me. If you are angry, it is simply going to further inflame his Brujah urges around you. Perhaps bringing him here is not such a sound idea. However, I believe he needs to be with his best friend. She will have more of an ability to ground him than of the rest of us do, whout resorting to more drastic measures."
Juliette closed her eyes as she stilled in her seat again and worked on quashing her anger. She wanted to ask Blaise how he'd react if it had been Buffy, but she wasn't interested in starting a fight. When she opened her eyes again they were green, no hint of silver in sight. "Bringing him here is a sound idea. He really is safest within these walls. Perhaps I should just stay away but we both know what will happen if he wakes up and he's a danger to those closest. Even to Airlie. She is a Childer. Do you honestly believe she'll have the strength to pull back if she's forced to drain him?"
"Bien sûr que non, and she will not let herself even start. She would as soon as kill herself than be forced to do that to her friend. I would not even expect it of her," Blaise responded with a shake of his head. "I meant for friendship, familiarity and companionship. They have known each other for many years. She might have been Embraced, but that does not dissolve a frienship. In fact, he has stood by her through the whole thing, learnt of our Kind because of it. That is admirable. And I understand you are going to struggle with that and feel you should be the most fitting with him above everyone else, but you cannot forgot his friend."
"It is not the fact his best friend is the most fitting that I am struggling with," Juliette murmured as she ran her fingers through her dark hair. "I think it's more the fact that he will blame me for what happened. How could he not? And how could he even want our Kind near him again? Airlie may well be the exception but only because of their connection." She stood up and started to walk around, her fingers brushing against the curtains she didn't dare open. Not during the middle of the day. "She's the right choice to be with him."
Blaise nodded slowly and folded his hands in front of him. "Indeed, he may. He might not even wish to stay in France, in which case, we would have to respect his wishes. Assuming they are wishes of a sound mind. If he gets into too much of an angry rage, we know it is not himself. We will cross that bridge when we come to it," he said quietly, looking down at his fingers. He was waiting to hear from Sergeant Finn or any of the doctors at the facility to indicate they were stopping the sedatives. They said it would come as soon as the blood transfusions ceased.
Juliette turned to glance at Blaise over her shoulder before she came over to him and slipped her arms around him in a hug to seek some sort of comfort. "We're not even any closer to knowing the reason for the attack. We won't know until he wakes and we have some concrete evidence. What about you? How are you coping with our new guests?"
"Which we might not get. He might not remember even being attacked. In which case, it could end up simply being a fact of waiting for another attack, only I am obviously reluctant to take that route. Also, if he does not remember, it could make it a whole more difficult to deal with him and help him understand. He might not want to listen to reason. In saying that, he did try to fight them off with a stake, so he was aware he was being attacked." Blaise shrugged. "Perfectly fine. They are no bother."
Juliette pulled away and leaned against his desk as she touched the collar of his shirt. "A stake... Buffy has been talking to him, non? The fact that he assumed a stake would be of help means they really didn't try and hide their intentions. It was an open attack. If they had succeeded in Embracing him they never would have been concerned about being caught. Rory would have had no choice but to feel loyal to their Clan. And the Slayer herself?"
"I assume so, but he is a Hunter. Slayers do not have monopoly on stakes, cherie. He also had a knife. Obviously the fact he lost his family means he goes out prepared. Or perhaps just goes out in strange places prepared. There was three against one, so it wasn't an accidental attack. Their aim was to Embrace him, no doubt. Perhaps they just thought he would be a good addition to their cause. You know the Brujah, always looking for ways to gain power. If what Airlie indicated to Sergeant Finn was correct, Rory harbours Brujah tendencies within him. He was supposedly nothing like he is now prior to losing his family. Of course he would be loyal. He is a Scot, blood loyalty is also within him. I know it would be difficult for you to accept because you see other sides of him, but he would survive perfectly fine as a Brujah, if it came to that." Blaise paused and cleared his throat softly as he glanced away at the corner of the desk. "I believe she is falling in love with Sergeant Finn."
Juliette's gaze flicked away again as she turned it towards an ornate painting on the wall behind them. "I still do not see those qualities as the ones that rule him. Any person can have different tendencies harboured within them. Perhaps you were Embraced as Ventrue, and are truly Ventrue inside and out but I think a part of you could have been Toreador. You like beautiful things, you appreciate beauty. You're just better at business. He has not been Embraced, so talking about him being Brujah is pointless. He will never let himself be Embraced. It would only be through brute force that Rory could be changed." Her eyes quickly returned to Blaise as she arched an eyebrow. "What makes you say that? He seems to believe they are over."
"It is not pointless at all. You are going to have to prepare yourself for it, because like it or not, he is not going to wake up happy. To just brush it off would be foolish. He came near enough and it should be discussed. Unfortunately, most Embraces against will are through brute force. If Riley's men had not been there, this whole discussion would be an extremely different one." Blaise pushed his paperwork away so he could rest his arms on the desk in front of him. "Anyone can say words that are inaccurate, mon amour. Perhaps he just wants to believe they are over because he thinks something is occuring between Buffy and myself. Fact of the matter is, a few days ago, there was nothing, and now I can feel it on her. It cannot be a mere coincidence."
"I do not like this one bit. I do not like that these connards got it into their heads that attacking Rory - attacking anyone - was a good idea. And I apologise for being so discontent. It's not as easy as I thought it was to stay in control. I am truly thankful that his men were there. I do not know what I would be feeling now if it had gone differently... He asked me if I would have truly been disappointed at seeing Rory turned." Juliette perched herself on the edge of his desk properly with her legs crossed over. The red skirt she wore exposed her porcelain skin and long legs. "He did mention that he didn't want to go after her because of you. Still, you do not think that maybe the encounter with Riley has merely helped her to be more open to love? To recognise that it is something she does want with you?"
"I know it is not, and that is why I am here to make sure you are okay too. I realise you might fall, loose control. I will do what I can to stop it. I just really do not want you losing control around Rory because it could be dire to any lasting relationship you have with him, even if it is just a friendship. He needs to understand he is safe here. That is vital. Even beyond the initial reactions and effects, underneath it all he will still be himself, and still probably very scared. That is why Airlie needs to be close. That is a fair question, and one I would expect of someone in Sergeant Finn's position. He needs to see all angles. At the end of the day, it would be a lot easier for us if our lovers were Kindred. We cannot deny that." Blaise brushed his hand over her leg, but the contact ended as soon as it began. It was a mere reminder to her that he was there. Something stopped him from progressing with it further, though. "I do not know, cherie. It is just a disconcerting coincidence, and Sergeant Finn has protected her heart before. She just didn't have the capacity to give it to him back then. This is perhaps their second chance. You saw yourself, he is a gentleman, and he can offer her all the normalcy she needs. He does care about her."
Juliette had appreciated the touch, but even she wasn't in a hurry to return it. She kept her hands gripped around the edge of Blaise's desk as she willed herself to stay calm. "Perhaps it is merely best that I stay away from him until the Brujah has worked through his system. He can still be here, but I will keep to my chambers. No, we cannot deny it would be easier, but that does not mean we want to see someone Embraced like this. Against their will is unforgivable. You know that as much as anyone. Just like I know what it is to want to be Embraced... to accept that second life." She pressed her ruby red lips together before they kicked up at the corners. "Forgive me for saying this, mon loup, but I do not think it is the normalcy she is after. And Sergeant Finn really did seem more than ready to let her go. Perhaps he loved her once, but I think she's used up the second chance. However, I would never discount your senses, and that just leads me to be as confused as you are."
Blaise narrowed his eyes briefly in thought. "Non. At least give him chance to be around you. He did come here to see you, afterall, and if he remembers that, you will owe him an explanation, at the very least. Knowing he will at least be physically okay is the first step. The concussion, the breaks, they will all heal. The whole experience may be quite eye-opening for him, if he has been unhappy in general. I know that is a difficult thing to say, but perhaps it will. There is just as much chance of that as there is that he will come to despise being in the presence of Kindred. It could go either way. We will do our best to make sure it will be the former option." He covered his face with his hands and rubbed at his eyes for a few moments, still obviously feeling drained. "They still slept together with surprising ease. For ex lovers, it was a bewildering ease. I feel like there are unresolved feelings there. Something has changed. I do not urge to feed from her, but I am curious."
Juliette gave a small nod even if she couldn't find it in herself to feel optimistic over the idea of Rory embracing the experience. "I still say most of his unhappiness stems from an urge to be a father. He wants a family. I do not think becoming part of a Clan was what he meant. However, I will do as you say. I can at least get a chance to know Airlie as well at this juncture. Have some time with the Childer, see if I cannot help her. You do not think they are now resolved? Have you even asked her? Maybe you really are the catalyst for her change. It could all just be a coincidence, and you're fearing something you don't have reason to."
"That would make sense, indeed. I am thankful, mostly, that I never reached an age to have that urge. Or not so much an age, but emotional maturity," Blaise corrected with a laugh. "Perhaps his whole world would just feel more content if he could have that chance again. But that could just mean letting him go, which is never easy either. Trust me, I do understand that." Blaise ran his fingers through his hair. "That is why I have been ill. It is been too long since I have loved. I only realised the fact recently and it seems like it has been more and more difficult to function with. Non, I have not asked. I will, I assume. The time is not right yet. If they are falling in love, I will not get in the way of that. I will not aggravate the situation for them at all. It would be hypocritical of me to want to, consider it is exactly what I yearn for myself."
Juliette really didn't want to let Rory go, but she had thought she was making the right decision for them both by keeping him at arm's length. By not letting him into the palace. Blaise had been blocking out Buffy, so Juliette had blocked out Rory. She also assumed it would allow him to go and get what he wanted. She would never be able to give him that. She didn't want him to have to give it up to be with her either. "Je suis desole, mon amour. Of course now you say that, it makes sense. I will never be able to give you that. All I can do is hope that you find it. I was hoping you had, but... maybe not."
"I should not have claimed her. It has clouded judgements. Perhaps both of ours. And yours. It was an error. Now it seems near impossible to see if any feelings are merely resulting from that, or anything else. It has been more than difficult for me to have done that to someone I cannot feed from." Blaise shook his head with a soft growl of annoyance at himself. "I fear without that, Rory may not have gotten hurt."
Juliette touched Blaise's shoulder lightly, and leaned forward to catch his gaze. "Non. Non, mon loup, this is not your fault. Even if the claim was a mistake, it would not have guaranteed that Rory didn't get hurt. We still don't even know if it is because of the Slayer that this happened. It might have been bound to happen regardless. She is still attracted to you, still curious. We will just have to wait and see if it's more. That is all either of us can do... wait."
"Without it, they might not have even been here," Blaise reminded her. He picked up his mobile phone to check for any missed calls. There were none there, and after a moment of thought, he brought up Riley's number and hit the call button, and then the speaker phone. But it just continued to ring without answer, until it rung out. Blaise cursed in annoyance, but assumed the soldier might still not be feeling well and was perhaps still in bed. Blaise was getting impatient for information. "And see if I can share the same feelings. Right now, I am still not entirely sure."
"Without it, we still might both be lonely," Juliette replied. She watched him with the phone as she went back to gripping the side of Blaise's desk. When there was no answer she just cursed softly under her breath. This was one part she disliked about waiting for someone else to do their work. "You're not sure because you believe she is in love with her ex, or because you genuinely do not feel anything at all for her?"
"With it, we are still lonely," Blaise reminded her, as much as it pained him. He hit the call button again then, waiting this time to get Riley's voicemail. He left a brief message asking him to call if there were any developments, but reassuring him not to if there weren't. "He might still be ailing. We cannot haunt him," he explained to Juliette when she raised her eyebrow at him. Normally Blaise would just demand a return call and get pissed if he didn't receive it in adequate time. "Because I genuinely do not like being hurt," he finally clarified, after first contemplating avoiding the question.
Juliette looked at him sadly. "I do not think we are in a position to be happy either way, are we? I only wish I could still give you what you truly needed. I would do anything for you, mon amour. Anything. I just cannot do this. I do not like failing you."
Blaise looked up at her. "Non, do not do that. Since when have you ever played the victim? It's unattractive. I miss the strong-willed woman who can hold her own in any situation. Things might not be full of hearts and flowers at the moment, but be thankful we still walk this earth. Be thankful we have each other, and people around us who mean things to us. Be thankful Rory is still alive. I know I am."
"Of course I am thankful for that. I just cannot seem to find a balance between anger and sadness right now. That is where your strong-willed woman has gone. I've just had to watch you become ill, and talk about it being your time. Now Rory has been attacked." Juliette touched her fingertips to her lips as she glanced down. "Perhaps I need to spend some time painting. I need to take strength from beauty. From art."
"Perhaps it will. You are the only person who will know for sure. Juliette, how many humans, mortals, have to sit by and watch their loved ones ill or injured? We are not above that, and we are going to struggle with it just as much as everyone else. That does not mean we are not going to be happy. All it may mean is that Rory... Buffy... anyone within our grasp right now, are just not the ones destined to make us happy. Life as Kindred is a hell of a long one when you give up at junctures like this. And before you protest that you are giving up, I have to object. We have known for many hundreds of years that we are not compatible as soul mates, as true and deep romantic lovers. We tried that, and we nearly killed each other. This is us, we need each other far beyond romance. I do not regret that and it saddens me to hear that you do," Blaise told her softly.
Juliette tilted her head. "When did I say I regretted this? Us? Mon dieu, Blaise, of course I don't." She took his face in her hands, and brushed her thumbs lightly against his skin. "Non, non, non... I do not regret us. How could I? It is true that we need each other beyond the romance, but there are still moments I wish I could give that to you without us killing each other. I hurt when you hurt. I see you suffering because you are not in love, have not been in love for a while now, so of course I want to fix it. Just like I will kill anyone that hurts you. Just like I will continue to be by your side."
"Expressing a wish to give me what I truly need is regret, completely disregarding the fact that what I truly need is my mate. I just also happen to truly need to feel love again. To find someone who wants to give me that, and allow me to give it in return. I am tired and I am lonely. That does not mean I do not need you. Of course I need you. How else would I get through the crippling emptiness in my heart if it was not for you?" Blaise asked, biting down softly on his lip and lowering his eyes to gaze at the polished surface of his desk.
"Please... you'll make me cry, mon loup." She kissed his forehead before resting hers against it. "And we both know how hard it is to get the tears out of a white silk blouse. How long until you are finished up here? I have an urge to paint you naked. We could save it to give to the woman who finally does win your heart, hm? A present from mate to lover."
Blaise smirked with a slight shake of his head in amusement. "Door locked. I do not need to be explaining that to our guests. Especially not when we have an over-emotional Childer in our midst who could latch onto either of us in a rage for not helping her friend. At least Buffy's friend is here to distract her."
Juliette's lips twitched before she broke out into a grin, and slid off the desk to search out a sketchbook and pencils. She was a Toreador, and art would always be one of her first loves. She kept supplies everywhere in the palace so no matter where she was she could indulge if the mood took her. While she may have been gifted as a singer as well, and owned clubs around Paris, drawing was still her passion. She locked the door in passing, and came back over to Blaise to nuzzle him with a soft growl. "See? I am already happy again, mon amour." She smiled as she licked the side of his neck before biting down playfully on the skin. "There is nothing any of them can do until Rory is awake. Time... It is always about time."
"Everything in life is about time," Blaise agreed, content to just sit there and let her indulge in whatever she needed to make her happy. It wasn't the first time, and it definitely wouldn't be the last. Whatever Juliette produced on her sketchbook would not be for public consumption, anyway. Despite his reputation, Blaise was extremely modest. He valued his privacy, and nudity was something he believed should be shared intimately only. He turned his head when she bit him and his eyes fell closed. Still, he was Kindred. He yearned for that intimacy, and Juliette always knew how to give it to him, even if it never quite, 100% satiated him.
Muse | Blaise Richelieu & Juliette Rousseau
Fandom | Vampire: The Masquerade (Original Characters)
Word Count | 4,293