(no subject)
Title: Causing Distraction
Pairing: Eeteuk/Heechul
Rating: R(?)
Summary: Being opposite makes it work.
His lips brushed my skin. The corner of my mouth, my forehead the space beneath my ear. I wanted nothing more than to die in that moment that grief had come to consume me. I didn’t want him to touch me like he was. Or love me like I knew he did. But I needed it so much. So much that I let him run his fingers across my waist and tried not to flinch at the way his urgent breath tickled the hair on my neck. And the way I liked it.
Already he was hard, and lightly bumping his lower half against mine. But my heart was sinking so low that I couldn’t respond. The welcome diversion was not enough to make me forget my pain. I didn’t want to.
He’d done this for me so many times in our years together. I never bothered to count. Even though in the beginning, he was against it. Pleading with me to go to the source and get everything sorted out. But it wouldn’t do. I didn’t need to be looked at as weak.
“Jungsu.” he whispered my name because he knew I liked that. He knew exactly everything I liked. Anything he could do to make me feel better. Or at least not like killing myself. And I went with it. I bared my neck to his nibbling. I helped him with our clothes. I ground up to him until my cock, no longer able to listen to my brain, responded.
And I released. And for a minute or so I felt incredibly weightless. And free. Like once more I was in the land of the living.
He didn’t have to clean us up. Or kiss my lips gently. Or brush my sweaty hair away from my face. But each time he did, it made me feel loved. Even for that little while. His gentle side was an awe for me. So much so, that I couldn’t resist drawing out of my own mind so I could wonder who he really was.
He gave me two sleeping pills again and took the bottle away. When he came back to the bed I was already starting to dose off. A comforting numbness settling over me. “Don’t tell.” I mumbled. Not sure if I said it or not.
And he said something back.
*****
“I never do.” I leaned myself closer to him. I’ve began to wonder if this will ever end. It wasn’t supposed to continue after that first time I had to pry the bottle out of his grasp and kiss the tears off his cheeks. I would never have been that gentle with anyone else, but something about us being the same age and entirely different, made us seem closer than I even felt with my friends.
And I put myself in his shoes plenty of times throughout the years. I could just as easily been leader. What, with only a few days separating our birthdays. And I was so glad, even grateful, that I wasn’t.
He seemed exhausted and in agony all the fucking time. I would never had the patience for that. I know in my heart that I would have quit. Even the confusion I’d gone through recently had almost made me quit. I couldn’t imagine what I would have been like. But was that because I felt I wasn’t needed at all?
We’re polar opposites of each other. That’s what makes this work. Since somehow I make him stronger and he lets me see beyond myself. Gives me a purpose. No. I would never be this gentle with anyone else. A more poetic man might say that we were put on this earth to be each other’s half. But that seems so dumb. I prefer to think of it as causing distraction.
Pairing: Eeteuk/Heechul
Rating: R(?)
Summary: Being opposite makes it work.
His lips brushed my skin. The corner of my mouth, my forehead the space beneath my ear. I wanted nothing more than to die in that moment that grief had come to consume me. I didn’t want him to touch me like he was. Or love me like I knew he did. But I needed it so much. So much that I let him run his fingers across my waist and tried not to flinch at the way his urgent breath tickled the hair on my neck. And the way I liked it.
Already he was hard, and lightly bumping his lower half against mine. But my heart was sinking so low that I couldn’t respond. The welcome diversion was not enough to make me forget my pain. I didn’t want to.
He’d done this for me so many times in our years together. I never bothered to count. Even though in the beginning, he was against it. Pleading with me to go to the source and get everything sorted out. But it wouldn’t do. I didn’t need to be looked at as weak.
“Jungsu.” he whispered my name because he knew I liked that. He knew exactly everything I liked. Anything he could do to make me feel better. Or at least not like killing myself. And I went with it. I bared my neck to his nibbling. I helped him with our clothes. I ground up to him until my cock, no longer able to listen to my brain, responded.
And I released. And for a minute or so I felt incredibly weightless. And free. Like once more I was in the land of the living.
He didn’t have to clean us up. Or kiss my lips gently. Or brush my sweaty hair away from my face. But each time he did, it made me feel loved. Even for that little while. His gentle side was an awe for me. So much so, that I couldn’t resist drawing out of my own mind so I could wonder who he really was.
He gave me two sleeping pills again and took the bottle away. When he came back to the bed I was already starting to dose off. A comforting numbness settling over me. “Don’t tell.” I mumbled. Not sure if I said it or not.
And he said something back.
*****
“I never do.” I leaned myself closer to him. I’ve began to wonder if this will ever end. It wasn’t supposed to continue after that first time I had to pry the bottle out of his grasp and kiss the tears off his cheeks. I would never have been that gentle with anyone else, but something about us being the same age and entirely different, made us seem closer than I even felt with my friends.
And I put myself in his shoes plenty of times throughout the years. I could just as easily been leader. What, with only a few days separating our birthdays. And I was so glad, even grateful, that I wasn’t.
He seemed exhausted and in agony all the fucking time. I would never had the patience for that. I know in my heart that I would have quit. Even the confusion I’d gone through recently had almost made me quit. I couldn’t imagine what I would have been like. But was that because I felt I wasn’t needed at all?
We’re polar opposites of each other. That’s what makes this work. Since somehow I make him stronger and he lets me see beyond myself. Gives me a purpose. No. I would never be this gentle with anyone else. A more poetic man might say that we were put on this earth to be each other’s half. But that seems so dumb. I prefer to think of it as causing distraction.