"I've masked myself so long.."

[just_like_them]

i love that song. anyway, finally finished that damn mural. that woman is insanei m never working for her again. im justglad its done and im no longer broke. i enjoyed painting it thoguh because it was basically me alone in a room, able to think about everything. i mean i stood there for 8 hours the other night while painting and thought about the last 6 months of my life and everything just sort of fell into place, which was good and bad at the same time. i mean i realized that i have an awesome group of friends that i wouldnt trade for anything. i seriously love you all and i mean that. we have so much fun whenever were together and thats awesome. but at the same time i also feel so alone. i mean when im with certain people they have a way of making me feel so happy and so miserable at the same time. and its really confusing. i dont know what i want or need for that matter but whatever it is i need it soon.

summers engine final show tonight, should be fun, only ive never seen them before lol. but still should be a good time. everyone should go. and on saturday i think we all need to take a trip to empress to see emanuel!