relationships
April 8, 2006 - Saturday
4:09 PM - relationships
Current mood: thoughtful
are hard. its like hit or miss. two people could be totally compatiable but one might not be ready to show they care and the other is... why do people try to act like they dont care, when they do. why do they do dumb shit ro make it appear as if they dont care or maybe they are trying to forget about caring. why do people do these things and hurt the ones they know care about them. if you cared about someone why would you allow them to hurt. when all you have to do is say something to make it stop? and then why the opposite. why pretend to care and lead someone on and make them feel special when you dont care. is it bc no one else wants to be with you so you act like you with whoever gives you attentions. are you really caring about the person or maybe just actling like it to get the feel of what a caring relationship feels like... i dunno. i more and more i think about relationships the more i think they are so hard and it takes two who really want to make it work. i cant stand games. just be up frnt with who you are and what you want. remember that the other person has feelings and toughts too... who only wants to talk about one person the whole time... blah... thats all i have to say about that...
and does being thoughtful also mean full of thought? cause then I am always thoughtful...
2:58 PM - just yakking...
it went well. . .better than expected. I admit, I did miss working there. I kinda get to play shrink in a way, talking to new people and learning about them. . . because really people love to talk about themselves. I only talked to a few people. I was hostessing last night, tonight, and I follow Sunday and then I am on the floor on Monday. Yey! I was busy busy busy trying to organize everything. Standing still drove me mad and so I cleaned up empty glasses and plates... I saw a few people there I knew and met a few new faces. I did get alot of "You're how old? Noooo way!" Oh well... I guess just learn to grin and bear it.
I hope The Phone Network hires someone soon so I can devote my time in the days stictly to school and my nights to the family or work. But making $5.15 as a hostess and $10.50 during the day - man THAT SUCKS!! I havent made below $9 an hour since I dont know WHEN!!
Anways... I figured out what classes I am going to take in the fall: Creative Writing, Chemisty, Biology, Theater Appreciation, and some Psy class... that will put me at VERY FULL TIME!! I don't know if I will continue to work, if I do probally just Fri and Sat. . . I hate that I would woek all weekend and not have any nights to spend with Bar but right now, we're really trying to get things paid off so we wont have to worry about that as much as we do. I think him being deployed all the time got me accustomed to having more extra money AND loving on post not having any utiities. . .
Well, the reconcilation is going well. I think I learned alot from the seperation. I dont think we coudlve ever made it w.o the seperation. I guess I really thought I would find someone who really met all my needs. And for a moment I think I thought I did but ya I didnt. I guess we can't make anyone love us or care about us. In one of my classes, either anger management or some self help therapy session I learned that we have such high expectations of how we expect people to act. But really we cant live up to these expectations. No one is going to make us happy 100% of the time, they arent going to think about me 100%. People argue, it doesnt mean the end of the world. I think before everything that upset me was validation it was not going to work. Even though the way we were going I know that I just didnt want a divorce for no reason. I was alone and we had a bad marriage. It is really sad now to think about it. I guess I can see the differance in our marriage and its just sad that he and i allowed it to be so bad and we were both so unhappy and lonely inside. I guess we needed a break to kinda wake back up... at least i did.
well gonna shower and get cute for tonight. like i said before if you see me say hi!
4:09 PM - relationships
Current mood: thoughtful
are hard. its like hit or miss. two people could be totally compatiable but one might not be ready to show they care and the other is... why do people try to act like they dont care, when they do. why do they do dumb shit ro make it appear as if they dont care or maybe they are trying to forget about caring. why do people do these things and hurt the ones they know care about them. if you cared about someone why would you allow them to hurt. when all you have to do is say something to make it stop? and then why the opposite. why pretend to care and lead someone on and make them feel special when you dont care. is it bc no one else wants to be with you so you act like you with whoever gives you attentions. are you really caring about the person or maybe just actling like it to get the feel of what a caring relationship feels like... i dunno. i more and more i think about relationships the more i think they are so hard and it takes two who really want to make it work. i cant stand games. just be up frnt with who you are and what you want. remember that the other person has feelings and toughts too... who only wants to talk about one person the whole time... blah... thats all i have to say about that...
and does being thoughtful also mean full of thought? cause then I am always thoughtful...
2:58 PM - just yakking...
it went well. . .better than expected. I admit, I did miss working there. I kinda get to play shrink in a way, talking to new people and learning about them. . . because really people love to talk about themselves. I only talked to a few people. I was hostessing last night, tonight, and I follow Sunday and then I am on the floor on Monday. Yey! I was busy busy busy trying to organize everything. Standing still drove me mad and so I cleaned up empty glasses and plates... I saw a few people there I knew and met a few new faces. I did get alot of "You're how old? Noooo way!" Oh well... I guess just learn to grin and bear it.
I hope The Phone Network hires someone soon so I can devote my time in the days stictly to school and my nights to the family or work. But making $5.15 as a hostess and $10.50 during the day - man THAT SUCKS!! I havent made below $9 an hour since I dont know WHEN!!
Anways... I figured out what classes I am going to take in the fall: Creative Writing, Chemisty, Biology, Theater Appreciation, and some Psy class... that will put me at VERY FULL TIME!! I don't know if I will continue to work, if I do probally just Fri and Sat. . . I hate that I would woek all weekend and not have any nights to spend with Bar but right now, we're really trying to get things paid off so we wont have to worry about that as much as we do. I think him being deployed all the time got me accustomed to having more extra money AND loving on post not having any utiities. . .
Well, the reconcilation is going well. I think I learned alot from the seperation. I dont think we coudlve ever made it w.o the seperation. I guess I really thought I would find someone who really met all my needs. And for a moment I think I thought I did but ya I didnt. I guess we can't make anyone love us or care about us. In one of my classes, either anger management or some self help therapy session I learned that we have such high expectations of how we expect people to act. But really we cant live up to these expectations. No one is going to make us happy 100% of the time, they arent going to think about me 100%. People argue, it doesnt mean the end of the world. I think before everything that upset me was validation it was not going to work. Even though the way we were going I know that I just didnt want a divorce for no reason. I was alone and we had a bad marriage. It is really sad now to think about it. I guess I can see the differance in our marriage and its just sad that he and i allowed it to be so bad and we were both so unhappy and lonely inside. I guess we needed a break to kinda wake back up... at least i did.
well gonna shower and get cute for tonight. like i said before if you see me say hi!