back again naturally
"Reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces"
While Gilbert O'Sullivan's words were about his loneliness, mine refer to the complete opposite, but the words still apply to how I feel.
Lately I've been terribly frustrated at not having time to get online, do some reading, writing and especially conversing with my internet friends. Actually, this has been going on for much longer than I realized over the past couple of years.
I hate it! I long for more time to myself. Probably everyone says this after retirement but in my case it has more to do with my husband's problem. The three cerebral hemorrhages he suffered have caused him to be more needy and it's just getting worse every day. And he forgets everything that we've talked about, which makes it harder to communicate with him on a day-to-day basis.
Yesterday was a good day and we had a great discussion in which I laid out my reasons as simply as possible for wanting some alone time. I chose Fridays as the day to do it although it didn't have to be written in stone. I needed one day a week to blog, read, etc., etc. and not all day necessarily but just for as long as it took. He was agreeable, he was in a good mood and I was elated.
But today he has forgotten all about our conversation yesterday and is in a bad mood to boot. I could tell because he seemed clumsy this morning, knocking over every item in the shower and complaining that I have too much stuff in there, but it's fine any other day and he has a lot of shampoo bottles and other stuff as well.
Then he started in on me ranting. He seemed to believe that I want nothing to do with him anymore at all. He hasn't grasped the concept of my desire to have just one day per week to do what I want. He's huffed off, slamming the door and leaving me alone. Clearly, he has a bigger problem than I thought, but I don't want to do something about it until I've had more time to think.
So I wanted to blog today but this is all I can write about...my creative juices have been sapped.
Oh well, at least it's a start. Maybe next week my Friday will go better.
The thing I don't want to do is to be mean to my husband in any way or form, because if something happens to him I don't want to regret what I did forever.
"And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul
Couldn't understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken"
And without so much as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces"
While Gilbert O'Sullivan's words were about his loneliness, mine refer to the complete opposite, but the words still apply to how I feel.
Lately I've been terribly frustrated at not having time to get online, do some reading, writing and especially conversing with my internet friends. Actually, this has been going on for much longer than I realized over the past couple of years.
I hate it! I long for more time to myself. Probably everyone says this after retirement but in my case it has more to do with my husband's problem. The three cerebral hemorrhages he suffered have caused him to be more needy and it's just getting worse every day. And he forgets everything that we've talked about, which makes it harder to communicate with him on a day-to-day basis.
Yesterday was a good day and we had a great discussion in which I laid out my reasons as simply as possible for wanting some alone time. I chose Fridays as the day to do it although it didn't have to be written in stone. I needed one day a week to blog, read, etc., etc. and not all day necessarily but just for as long as it took. He was agreeable, he was in a good mood and I was elated.
But today he has forgotten all about our conversation yesterday and is in a bad mood to boot. I could tell because he seemed clumsy this morning, knocking over every item in the shower and complaining that I have too much stuff in there, but it's fine any other day and he has a lot of shampoo bottles and other stuff as well.
Then he started in on me ranting. He seemed to believe that I want nothing to do with him anymore at all. He hasn't grasped the concept of my desire to have just one day per week to do what I want. He's huffed off, slamming the door and leaving me alone. Clearly, he has a bigger problem than I thought, but I don't want to do something about it until I've had more time to think.
So I wanted to blog today but this is all I can write about...my creative juices have been sapped.
Oh well, at least it's a start. Maybe next week my Friday will go better.
The thing I don't want to do is to be mean to my husband in any way or form, because if something happens to him I don't want to regret what I did forever.
"And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul
Couldn't understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken"