it just cant be easy
shit with my family is never cut and dry.
mom called me yesturday and said that she wasnt sure about me going to the party, even after I told everyone. I got pretty upset with her and told her to just figure it out and let me know either way, because if we werent going to the party than I wasnt going to bother to rush home on saturday. she said she would call me back.
she called around 6 tonight and told me that my father didnt feel comfortable with me coming to the party. i told her that it wasnt right and that i didnt understand. my response was, "I told everyone and they were all ok with it. THEY said that they still loved me no matter what and that I was still family. I dont see why I shouldn't be coming to this party because dad isnt ok with it, because it is not about him." I told her that i would just come no matter what he said if it wasnt at their house, but that because it WAS at their house that I felt that it wastn right for me to just show up. she said that it wasnt her, it was him and that she understood that I had done what was asked of me.
she was crying and called my dad to come in the house to the phone. after some yelling he finally came and she relayed my argument to him. then the phone was muffeled. I heard a few words but they only that stuck out were "that's final". my mom got back on the phone crying and said that she had to go and that she would call me back.
after a while without hearing from her, I called my grandmother that lives down the street. I told her what was going on and told her i was worried about my mom. she went and looked out the window and said that they had had some family over setting up for the party. I asked her what she thought I should do. she said that she didnt think I should go so there wasnt a scene. and that my mom would be the one to have to deal with the bastard when it was over.
about 9:30 my mom called me back. she said that he wasnt going to budge. that his words were, "i dont understand it. I dont accept it and I never will." she was crying and said that this was very ahrd for her because she wanted me there. I told her that I missed her and my family. I told her that he was the reason that I had not been around my family for the last year and a half and that I was tired of letting him dictate the relationship I was able to have with other members of my family.
this isnt fair. it is a once in a lifetime celebration that will not ever play out in my family again.
her words to me were, "we might not have to worry about that much longer if this keeps up". When I asked her to clarify, she would not. She just repeated herself. I am taking this to mean that she comtemplating divorce. she started to say that maybe it was her fault for waiting 6 months before givng him the letter and that maybe it was because she had had 6 more months to accept it. I said that it was absolutely not her fault.
we ended the conversation with me asking her what she thought would happen if I just showed up. she said that he was threatening to make a large scene. I asked her who would be the one to look bad if that happened. me or him. her response was that SHE would look bad because it was her family. I told her that if I chose not to come, that I would make sure to tell all of my family members that it was because my dad did not want me there.
in the end she just said "do what you need to do and I will deal with it later." she suggested if i did go to maybe show up a little bit later after everyone was already there.
the plan is to still leave early enough in the morning to make it to the party. I am still not sure what time i will go, if i decide to go at all. I really want to go, but I dont want to make a scene. I do not want to take away from my grandparent's special day. I am so beyond angry with my father. I have no feelings for him. I was happy when my mom hinted that she may be thinking of divorce. I know she would be happier. we all would. he is a miserable human being.
why do things have to be so complicated.
mom called me yesturday and said that she wasnt sure about me going to the party, even after I told everyone. I got pretty upset with her and told her to just figure it out and let me know either way, because if we werent going to the party than I wasnt going to bother to rush home on saturday. she said she would call me back.
she called around 6 tonight and told me that my father didnt feel comfortable with me coming to the party. i told her that it wasnt right and that i didnt understand. my response was, "I told everyone and they were all ok with it. THEY said that they still loved me no matter what and that I was still family. I dont see why I shouldn't be coming to this party because dad isnt ok with it, because it is not about him." I told her that i would just come no matter what he said if it wasnt at their house, but that because it WAS at their house that I felt that it wastn right for me to just show up. she said that it wasnt her, it was him and that she understood that I had done what was asked of me.
she was crying and called my dad to come in the house to the phone. after some yelling he finally came and she relayed my argument to him. then the phone was muffeled. I heard a few words but they only that stuck out were "that's final". my mom got back on the phone crying and said that she had to go and that she would call me back.
after a while without hearing from her, I called my grandmother that lives down the street. I told her what was going on and told her i was worried about my mom. she went and looked out the window and said that they had had some family over setting up for the party. I asked her what she thought I should do. she said that she didnt think I should go so there wasnt a scene. and that my mom would be the one to have to deal with the bastard when it was over.
about 9:30 my mom called me back. she said that he wasnt going to budge. that his words were, "i dont understand it. I dont accept it and I never will." she was crying and said that this was very ahrd for her because she wanted me there. I told her that I missed her and my family. I told her that he was the reason that I had not been around my family for the last year and a half and that I was tired of letting him dictate the relationship I was able to have with other members of my family.
this isnt fair. it is a once in a lifetime celebration that will not ever play out in my family again.
her words to me were, "we might not have to worry about that much longer if this keeps up". When I asked her to clarify, she would not. She just repeated herself. I am taking this to mean that she comtemplating divorce. she started to say that maybe it was her fault for waiting 6 months before givng him the letter and that maybe it was because she had had 6 more months to accept it. I said that it was absolutely not her fault.
we ended the conversation with me asking her what she thought would happen if I just showed up. she said that he was threatening to make a large scene. I asked her who would be the one to look bad if that happened. me or him. her response was that SHE would look bad because it was her family. I told her that if I chose not to come, that I would make sure to tell all of my family members that it was because my dad did not want me there.
in the end she just said "do what you need to do and I will deal with it later." she suggested if i did go to maybe show up a little bit later after everyone was already there.
the plan is to still leave early enough in the morning to make it to the party. I am still not sure what time i will go, if i decide to go at all. I really want to go, but I dont want to make a scene. I do not want to take away from my grandparent's special day. I am so beyond angry with my father. I have no feelings for him. I was happy when my mom hinted that she may be thinking of divorce. I know she would be happier. we all would. he is a miserable human being.
why do things have to be so complicated.