(no subject)
so i didnt go to school today. again. am i really doing this for real? im about to get ready and go job hunting and im very excited. i realize that i dont really have a choice, but to work full time. if im going to move out by summertime, i need money. there is no way i'll have enough money if im at the prison. there is no way i'll have enough money for cosmetology school either. im immediatly going to find information about getting my GED, and hopefully i'll have it before everyone else graduates. thats the goal im setting for myself. it's going to be hard work. im going to have to pay $50 a week for living at the condo. thats $200 a month, but at least its cheaper than an apartment. i know a lot of people are going to be pissed at me for making this decision, especially my family. but why should i be at a place where my heart is not set on doing the work i have to do and graduating? i dont have the drive. i know i am capable of doing it, and doing a damn good job, but when im in school my mind is elsewhere. i cant stay focused. all i can think about is how i want to be out of there and how i'd rather be at work than high school. people keep telling me "youre SO close to finishing, just tough it out" but truth of the matter is im not. in order to graduate i'll have to take either nightschool, classes at starkwether, summerschool, or classes through the mail. that takes a while. im not going to take forever to get my GED, thats the one thing i really really really want. i want it now! lol. i just want to be able to pay for my car and apartment and food and everything else myself. i want to be independent. a lot of people are telling me i'm making a mistake, and maybe i am. but that is something i'll have to find out myself. aside from high school, i am a VERY hard worker. i have faith in myself that i can be successful. nothing could make me happier than doing hair, and if i'm doing something i love to do, i completely excell at it. the hair industry is a tough one. its tough to find work and make money. but if i start at the right places, and climb the ladder i am 100% confident i can make it. because i am SO driven. and if later on in my life, getting my GED has effected me in a bad way and im completely unsuccessful with it, i'll work on getting my diploma. i can't believe im actually making this decision. its exciting and scary at the same time. i could be making a HUGE mistake, but i think with the mindset i have now and the drive i have, i can make it work.